


Paradox

by White_choco0



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, attack on
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angry Sex, Arranged Marriage, Dehumanization, Enemies, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hate to Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Murder, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poisoning, Power Struggle, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-01-23 20:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 64,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18557404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_choco0/pseuds/White_choco0
Summary: Levi deeply loves you, it's truly a tragedy you don't feel the same... and justly so.





	1. PLEASE READ LATEST UPDATE!!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to write a Levi fic that will hopefully not end up in utter disaster. Here we go, putting up three chapters in one night!

Go to the lates update please


	2. Chapter 2

Sorrow in it's purest element brewed in a menacing silence beneath the (h/c) tinted orbs gazing squarely into cold, _cruel_ slits of blue.

"Do you, (Y/N) take Lord Levi Ackerman as your faithfully wedded spouse? To love and cherish in times of sickness and health, until death do you part?" The hunched priest inquired aloud, his inquiry holding the promise of a lifetime tied to this man.

Without a hint of hesitation, the young woman answered promptly "I do." The words echoed in the entirety of the gothic cathedral, sets of dozens of eyes seemingly glued to the two bodies clad in the finest white and silk wedding garments. The beauty and elegance of it all was enough to disguise and stray focus from the hidden truth.

To be wrapped in silk and lace in the most intricate of delicacies of a gown, have a significantly large bouquet of pure bread white roses and snow drops, feet in shoes like clouds but pompous enough to demand attention, and a man of high status and caliber with more gold coins than there are trees in nature, must mean happiness is imminent in her future life.

Crowds could have such a gall.

Of course, they were not to blame. Simply by looking at the history and the expensive decorations of the vicinity where the ceremony was being held, they knew a wealthy, well endowed man could please any woman. The priest nodded shortly after, proceeding with the following statements.

"And do you Lord Levi Ackerman, take (Y/N) (L/N) as your faithfully wedded wife? To cherish and love in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" The tension was there, thick enough to cut through with a blade. It was staggering and nearly suffocating, his eyes never left hers, as did hers to his. But, something was different between both exchanges.

One. It held strained, guilty Love. The Other. It held a silenced Confession.

"No." He answered, but his calamity was so astounding it bewildered and flabbergasted the entirety of the attendees. They gasped, whispered, began theorizing, but as swiftly as he had spoken did he quiet their doubts, "I refuse to accept that death shall part us. I do take (Y/N) as my bride, but on the condition that she remains as so, for _eternity_."

"Of course" the jaded man replied, smiling in ignorance at what he fathomed was a strong bond of love and adoration. "Speak now or forever hold your peace!" His bombared words echoed in the extensive walls surrounding them, words that were never answered to, to her misfortune. "Then if there are no objections, I now pronounce you both, _husband_ "

_Hopeless_

"And,"

_A shame but..._

" _Wife_ "

_It's too late_

The tolling bells rang admist a pandemonium of applause and cheers, tears and sobs of joy from the bride's side of the family, and trumpets and drums. Music synchronized with the jovial sounds, laughter of children echoed as they tumbled out of the cathedral, the claps thundering as the newly wedded couple stepped out of the cathedral.

It was all so

 _Detestable_ -

"Beautiful! My beautiful daughter is finally married, oh! How you've grown!" Aging arms wrapped tightly around the young woman whose happiness was nearly undetectable beneath the falsity of it all. She hugged back, feeling her limb slide slowly away from it's entanglement with her groom's arm, his eyes met hers just as the contact between the both diminished, face lost in her mother's bosom.

"Yes, it's all thanks to you" She nodded, being pulled back and admired over and over. The other brute meaning to her words unnoticed by the woman who raised her. She could sense the warning squeeze her elder gave, signifying that apparently it was noted.

She hummed delightedly, "You mustn't give me all the credit dear, your father is why you're here today." She nodded at the mention of her father and began to stray from the presence of the two persons behind her when one caught her wrist.

He always did. "Levi," she began, eyes pleading, "I'll be going to see my father, would you like to come along?" She feared he'd say no by the lengthy silence he drawled, only to then nod stiffly and follow her, fingers still curled around her gloved wrist.

This church was the church of her childhood where she was transferred and later picked up after a year or so. She'd accompanied her father to every gathering and to his frequent visits to pray, to think this would potentially be the last tore her shredded heart into dozens of more components.

He was there, as always, in the same position, so still like the statues that surrounded him. In spite of his age, he was kneeled before the virgin Mary, a rosary entwined in his fragile fingers as he mumbled undecipherable prayers. He heard the clacking of shoes and smiled, already aware of who had paid him a visit to his secret eden.

"Come my dear," he gestured, noticing her husband in tow but not minding the intrusion as much as he should have, after all, this place has undeniably sacred to him and his daughter. "I've been praying for you and your husband to live a long and happy life filled with love."

_If only_

"Thank you father, I'm sure it'll be so with your prayers sent to the Lord. You are after all his most devoted follower, surely he will heed your requests." Her smile hid away the sadness in her eyes and the warmth of her hands masked any feelings of dread as she gripped tightly the palms of her counterpart. She could tell her feigned happiness was being taken as truth so far and she couldn't be more glad. The last thing she wanted to do was upset her new husband and cause drama by deciding that she'd rather go elsewhere.

And so as any indecisiveness was forgotten on the way to the reception, the woman could merely voice her disdain in the confines of her mind, the only place reserved for herself and the only place that could be considered safe from now on. Because, everywhere she was, surely his watchful eye would be on her, analyzing her every move, _controlling_ her every action.

It was a grand hall with chandeliers and white roses in every nook and cranny of the place. The banquet consisted of richly cooked poultry, steamed white meat, vibrant green vegetables and elaborate fruit arrangements. All the dishes though fancily named, in actuality were just chicken, vegetables, pasta, or some other basic food. That's how rich people food worked.

The time came for dancing and everyone stood to waltz along with the soft melodic tune echoing in the background. Bodies swayed to and fro, and dresses swirled in a flurry of spins. Tail coats fluttered in the momentum of a turn, all was as it usually was in any expensive wedding. The moment came when the bride and groom would dance to a particular song choice, a traditional practice in the house of (L/N).

Levi held his hand out and felt the graze of gloved fingertips, not wasting a moment, he pulled her up in a suave fashion that left her flushed against his chest. She however, did not react, and like an inanimate doll, was dragged more than led across the radius of the dance floor and to the center. There, rough digits slid down the slimmed side of the woman, reached the deepest curve of her waist and cupping it with his palm, once again breached any distance between the both.

The mellow melody claimed the silence in a breathtaking demonstration, two bodies dancing in perfect sync, souls however struggling. Her eyes were on his but her focus was elsewhere, near the future of her life, misery seemingly imminent at this point in time.

An outsider would see two people gazing adoringly into each other's windows of the soul, maybe even fathom wistful sighs of happiness, but could never imagine that was farther from the reality. As they swayed gently, the groom dipped his newly wedded bride low, frowning at her stoic expression but opting to pretend she was enjoying this moment, enjoying it as much as he was.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Departing from the town she grew up in was painful, the crack of the whip sounded as a reminder that she'd be leaving this easy life behind and all it's wonderful memories to begin anew with her husband. 

 

Merriweather was such a mellow and quiet place, the people were warm and kind and the upperclass never took advantage of the much more unfortunate families. In fact, there wasn't much unfortunate people apart from orphans, but even they were seemingly living in bliss. Since there was only a trinity of wealthy families, who all happened to be close friends and shared similar views, the town prospered due to their extensive aid and the benefits of an ocean right by it. 

 

Ah, she would especially miss the ocean. Its rolling waves and vivid hues, the refreshing breeze sweeping through her locks, and all memories with that person. 

 

_No, I mustn't_

 

She shook her head softly with a bitter smile, drawing attention to her from the man seated beside her. She regret ever reacting, for all her reactions always seemed to bring questions from his end, and questions required talking. Quite frankly, she'd rather avoid speaking to him. It was inevitable though at this point, his voice roused the silence, interest piqued.

 

"What is it?" She grimaced, feeling his gaze never waver at her drawling quiet. 

 

Sighing wistfully, her hand pressed on the window sill and turned to lay her eyes upon the moving scenery, "Simply, I'll miss this place..." 

 

Steadily, his palm slid into hers, no resistence from her end offered, "I see. You won't miss it much, anytime I have business here I'll bring you along." 

 

"Thank you" she quietly answered, the corners of her lips tugging to a small smile. She shifted her focus back to the blurring outside, palm still pressed firmly to the sill.

 

The ride proceeded smoothly for a large margin of it, it wasn't until the shore became shrouded by forestry that the terrain transitioned into rough and quakey.

 

Ladylike behavior dictated that you never sit in any position where slumping was involved, however, all the bouncing and trembling of the vehicle placed enough strain on the woman's back to compell her to drop her shoulders. Besides, the effort of sustaining her posture was beginning to elicit sweat from the inland heat. With no ocean nearby to provide a fresh gust it seemed like heatwaves would be an imminently daily occurance in her new life. 

 

Her mood worsened tenfold at the observation. To think that she'd have to go from living life to the fullest, to being a sort of trophy wife for one of the wealthiest men in the continent reduced her mind to shambles. She was yet to become a proper woman, only still in her early twenties and lacking a great deal of wisdom. Educated she was, but just as much education she pertained was she sheltered as well.

 

She briefly glanced at her gloved hands, tugging at the ruffled hem situated above her wrists. She continued to pull and twist the material back and forth the farther inland they traveled. Her eyes were very well closed by the time the carriage ceased the rolling movement. 

 

Shaken from her half slumber, her eyes rose to the sill but found a curtain obscuring the outside view. Enveloped by a familiar scent, she quickly realized the position she had been in for the remainder of the long ride and pulled away as if she'd just been badly scalded.

 

His hard gaze drifted to her shock badly masked by a face of indifference, he nearly wanted to chuckle, "You had fallen asleep, I didn't want to wake you seeing how peaceful you appeared on my shoulder." She could _feel_ the smugness in his voice, eyes gleaming with hidden intent. 

 

"My apologies My Lord, I didn't want to impose such an inconvenience" she uttered, smoothing her gown and fixing the hat resting atop her head. "It appears we've arrived?" 

 

"Yes, that is so, and it's Levi when we are in one another's company" saying those words, he stood and gracefully exited the carriage, opening her side of the door and helping her step down. 

 

"Thank you." Peering from under the edge of her headpiece, her brows raised only a sliver at the grand sight before her. Her shoes fell over lush green grass that extended from the lawn to every last leaf on the trees and bushes surrounding the manor. Roses in a variety of colors were displayed on the curbs and patches along a clean slate path leading up to a double staircase. 

 

She had lived a life of luxury but the size of this place did not compare to not one summer home she'd ever been to. The walls, tall and impeccable, extended high into the sky and white stone was carved in finer detail around the perimeters of the arched front door and windows. There was no gate guarding the territory like she was used to but this gave her access to a sight of empty land at her right where horses grazed and sheep were herded. She spotted one of the many trees with a beautifully quaint swing and fountain. 

 

At the peak of the home, supported by a single pole, the family crest was carved and highlighted in gold to pure perfection, proudly standing out amongst all other features of the vicinity. She hadn't noticed the fact that he had been leading her along the path the entire time she'd spent marveling this seemingly fantasy site. 

 

"I've prepared a welcome for you, all those shitheads are excited to meet the new Lady of the house" now at this, her brow arched at the fowl tongue he'd just addressed her with. No matter how many times she'd heard it, she could not get used to hearing such flawed words from his end.

 

Quietly she added as she brought her fan up to shield everything but her eyes, "It's sin to don such an aberrant tongue, Levi" He did not respond, in exception to a click of his tongue which she found completely silly. She believed it to be childish and rude in the presence of a lady, any sounds riddled with annoyance were not to be made unless when one's by themselves.

 

Not upset by his lack of acknowledgment, she let him open the door for her and walked in, looking around the extravagant decor. It didn't seem to be his style but she guessed this was all preserved as it had been from the previous master may he rest in peace. Rounding a pillar beyond the foyer that could very well fit an entire bedroom furnishing, she came face to face with a disheveled bunch of old and young individuals. 

 

They were all chattering, well, more like arguing forth and back, red and yellow stains splotched more than just the aprons and a short figure was shrouded by a layer of black ashes. Levi exasperatedly sighed at his right and still upholding her fan, she glanced curiously at him. 

 

With a pinch to the bridge of his nose, he didn't even raise his voice to draw the attention of everyone in the room, "May I inquire why the fuck you all look a mess? And why is Armin covered in cinders and ashes?" They cringed as they eyed each other's appearances, awkwardly shuffling into a poorly shaped line. He waited patiently but upon receiving no answer, he roared, "Well?" 

 

Finally one had come forth, his sandy blond hair draped over his eyes as he deeply bowed, "Forgive our inadequate behavior and appearance My Lord, we were having a dispute on how to salvage today's meal for the new Lady." 

 

"Yes, we were attempting to recreate the seafood cuisine from Lord Erwin's banquet but unfortunately we forgot one vital ingredient." A strawberry blond pointedly added, her honey orbs wide and afraid. 

 

"And what was this vital ingredient?" He raised a thin brow, taking notice of all the stiffened postures. Fiddling thumbs, scuffing shoes, and hunched shoulders, they looked like scolded dogs. 

 

"It was um... um... the uh..." one of the younger few with a stunning shade of turquoise in his eyes stumbled over his words and twiddled with his tan digits. He couldn't seem to get the word out by the aggravated reaction he was giving so in his stead, a pale but nonetheless beautiful girl answered.

 

"Fish, we had forgotten the fish." In the pin drop silence, all that could be heard was the sways of the undulating fan in the Lady's hand, her eyes patient and amused at the unraveling ordeal. 

 

The master was eerily quiet, that is, until his jaw clenched. They knew it was over, his silver blue hues darkened and he nearly bellowed out, "How could you forget the fish in a seafood cuisine!? Damn idiots, the lot of you... it's always one thing or the other, you-"

 

"Please calm down," with her fan smacked shut, she touched his bicep with the hand that wasn't wrapped in his arm, "in all honesty, I never enjoyed seafood much so this is completely fine" 

 

And all too suddenly did everyone gasp and begin bowing, shouting apologies:

 

"The Lady has arrived! We hadn't even noticed, please forgive us!" The sandy blond dropped to his knees.

 

"Ah! Excuse our rudeness, it will never happen again my Lady!" The strawberry blond fell to a similar position. The turquoise eyed boy along with a long faced young man fought on who could bow the lowest and shouted in unison.

 

"We're sorry madam!" They then glared fiercely at one another and looked about ready to jump at each other's throats.

 

"Armin, Mikasa show some respec-guh!" And a poor tongue was painfully caught between teeth, eliciting a gush of crimson.

 

Chuckling, she chimed in, "They've already offered their respects and welcome, there's no point in doing it again..." 

 

One of the men with black hair styled strangely flabbergastedly gawked, "But... when?"

 

"They noticed the moment I entered and bowed." She said as a matter of factly. Swiping her fan once again to eye level, she covered her visage and dismissed any remnant remarks of apologies. Whispering something into Levi's ear, he nodded silently.

 

"I'll be receeding bed, it's been a long journey and I'd like some rest before formally introducing myself. Excuse me" held by the arm, she was tugged along into one of the doorways just as the master shouted one last order.

 

"Go finish whatever you started before the evening and make sure to refrain from any more shitty messes." 

 

It was a quiet walk to their destination, not one word exchanged until they reached a door they'd come across after a flight of stairs and a few turns in the lengthy walkways. It was opened without one creaking sound and she found that quite pleasant as it was near impossible to find any doors that didn't whine in that redundant and irritating fashion. 

 

Everthing was shrouded in darkness, only until the curtains were drawn was the room flooded by sharp rays of sunlight. The decor itself was homey, a giant bed at the center in a thick, black duvet with velvet throw pillows in the same shade and few engravings of swirls and leaves. There was something about this room that seemed more befitting of his personality. He went to the luggage she hadn't even noticed. 

 

"I'll get Collette to unpack your things, seems she's busy if she wasn't there to greet you with the rest" he uttered, raking through the suitcase that held her night clothes. She didn't know who Collette was or what was taking so long to find a mere nightgown so she marched over to him and peered over the horizon of his shoulder. 

 

The words caught in her throat at the continents of the baggage, "Oh my, those are rather... 'risque' undergarments..." her mumble was hardly audible and somehow she felt the urgent need to justify the presence of such sinful garments. "You see, my aunt has a rather crude interpretation of what couples do in their alone time, I had no say nor the slightest idea that this had been packed. I'm not that kind of woman, I swear that I am devoted to being a proper-"

 

"You're rambling (Y/N), proper ladies hold their tongue." She bit back a retort, not allowing the ludicrous need to argue overtake her better judgment. After all, he wasn't wrong. Finding her silence guilt inflicting, he opted to lighten the mood now that she seemed upset by his unprecedented remark, "Forget these undergarments, the question is, will you be comfortable in them? Otherwise I'll send out Collette to buy you whatever is to your liking." 

 

Humming, she sat on the bed and glued her stare to the ground, "It's no trouble, I can learn to feel comfortable" 

 

His forehead pulled back as he tossed his head over his shoulder, "Are you sure? I hope you're not doing that just to feel some sense of self righteousness at avoiding what you think is an inconvenience for me" 

 

_Almost hit the bullseye_

 

"Not at all Levi, if I ever need anything I won't hesitate to ask" she smiled softly, having seemed convinced as he turned back to searching for something suitable to wear for a nap. 

 

"Fucken finally" she cringed at his asinine terminology but was nevertheless grateful as he handed her a cotton floor length nightgown. This was her favorite, thick enough to keep her warm but not enough to feel suffocating. She especially loved the feminine touches of a bow situated right beneath the valley of her breasts. "Sleep well"

 

Answering him with her gratitude, the door clicked shut and she was left in isolation. As if she'd been wearing a false persona, her posture fell and so did her clothes, replaced by the enchanting fabric that felt like a cloud from heaven. She made sure to neatly fold all previous worn articles of clothing as she assumed he had some sort of obsession to cleanliness.

 

Not that she didn't appreciate it, but it could pose trouble if she ever let any strewn items about. She hopped onto the fluffy mattress and sighed in bliss, a very faint scent, his scent, barely recognizable but enough to indicate he slept here. Her eyes felt heavy, chignon coming undone as she pulled at her hair and snuggled into the mountain of fluffy pillows. The duvet felt exquisite, the room was cool but the heat was enough to lull her into slumber once more. Curled into a tight ball, her body fell limp and her consciousness dissipated within a few minutes. 

 

It seemed that the brewing storm couldn't of hit harder. The doe eyed female marched in with her usual air of dominance, haughty eyes scanning the foyer for any of her co workers. Shs seemed to walk in such a snobbish manner that even her uncle had to recognize and shake his head. 

 

Arriving at the kitchen, she threw the doors open, hinges whining loudly, "Has Levi arrived?" The buzzing bodies in the kitchen could merely roll their eyes at who had arrived. 

 

Petra was still madly stirring the bowl, her lip rising in a disgusted fashion, "Collette, you can't call the Master like that anymore, you must address him by his formal title" 

 

In turn to the calm execution of an explanation, she seemed to explode into a million shades of rage, "Levi isn't like that! We grew up together so he let's me call him as I please! Keep doing your servant's work and answer the question you good for nothings!" 

 

Olou having nursed his tongue back to health held Petra by the shoulder, a silent plea to not retort or stoop so low, "Yes, he's arrived and is currently in his study." 

 

"Great! I'm sure he'll be pleased to see me! Finish your work, you know you can't disobey orders from the housekeeper." They tutted just as she stepped beyond the doorway, immediately chatting up the situation.

 

"She's terribly spoiled! Why'd you give out the Master's location so carelessly, surely he wants peace and quiet and that girl is quite the epitome of the opposite!" Petra could not conceal her outright distaste for the young woman."I mean, she grew up as poor as the rest of us, why does she feel anymore special?" 

 

"Patience darling, everyone eventually gets knocked off their high horse and I have a feeling the Lady's arrival will do more than knock her down." An evil grin displayed on his face, Olou deviously mentioned to his wife. The realization struck her and a smug smirk tugged at her lips. 

 

"That's right! That'll show her without a doubt!" The two giggled childishly as they imagined all sorts of scenarios occurring the moment she found out, they wouldn't be surprised if Eld, the butler, found her room in shambles by the next dawn. 

 

Armin was almost trampled by the eccentric young woman who rushed past him, making a beeline down the hall that led to the main study. He pushed his monocle back into the pocket of his clean suit and proceeded down the opposite direction with an exasperated huff. He, along with the majority of the indoors staff, knew what tumultuous event was bound to happen when the news was relayed to her. Quite frankly, nobody wanted to be there when it _did_ happen. 

 

Gone was the serenity and silence as once again, the heavy mahogany doors were miraculously pushed open to a full 180°. Levi internally groaned at the intrusion(he had known who it was based on countless previous entrances of similar nature). She, with a lack of hesitation and thereof respect for personal space, threw herself across the desk and hugged his neck, clinging dearly to him as she rambled on about how glad she was to have him back from his long journey. 

 

When she tried to kiss his cheek however, she was taken aback by his recession. It was no secret he was unusually cold and rude, but he'd never pulled away from her affections

She had embraced him since the time of their infantry and had been doing so ever since. 

 

Maybe he was in a bad mood, yes, perhaps that was it. He had been traveling for a long time, Merriweather was afterall, located all the way at the shore. Perhaps it may have also been due to a bad business deal, the snobbish rich folk had probably shone their true nature, she knew he couldn't stand that. 

 

With all the possibilities of his reason for a damper on his demeanor, she couldn't conclude it was her fault he was so upset, couldn't even imagine him being upset at her. It was just not possible, never had there been grudges between the both of them, they adored each other to death! Maybe even loved, she certainly did. 

 

She was awaiting the day he confessed how smitted he was with her, how he had always been and always will be for years to come. It was all planned in her head, he'd tell her and she'd kiss him, he'd promise to make her his wife even if society frowned upon it, it had to, no was imminent to occur. With that in mind, she brushed off his behavior and took to sitting on the edge of the desk, fingers twirling her straight, auburn locks. 

 

"So Levi, how was your trip?" She asked cheerfully, admiring his extremely neat handwriting. Hers was never as great as his, always wonky and smudged, the poor dolt didn't know that being left handed meant not pressing your palm deeply into the parchment when writing. 

 

"Long" he merely answered, paper rustling as he pulled another from the stack, his pen dipped into the ink once more. 

 

"Did you meet more snobby people?" She giggled, this always broke the ice. One thing they loved to do together was trash talk pompous nobles and earls, and it never had become a bore. 

 

He shook his head, surprising her. Before she could question him, he elaborated, "They were kind. Very. No one lives in poverty, even the orphaned children seem to be leading a carefree life." 

 

"And did you make any deals? Oh! Did you find any exotic sea shells?" Her eyes twinkled as she awaited his response, his hunched composure not too enthusiastic about upholding the other end of the conversation. She just refused to give up.

 

Finally he sighed and replied at his own leisurely pace, "I made... a few, and found much more than 'exotic'sea shells. Brat, there's more to the ocean than that, in fact I found a pearl, but it seems to be buried deep in a stubborn clam." 

 

At this she giggled heartily, hand on her chest, "Did you now? I'd like to take a look at it, bet I can bust it open with my own two, bare hands! Let me at it!" 

 

"Tch, so noisy" he mumbled but finally seeming to relax his tense posture. "Speaking of which, I have a favor to ask of you." He dropped his pen, folding his arm he leaned back and stared her in the eye. He was always assertive when asking someone for something, it was this one divine asset to him that she loved, he knew to ask and never demand when not necessary. 

 

"Anything for you Levi!" Merrily she grinned, so wide and peppy it almost split her face in half. He huffed, thinking how much energy she honed even with all the responsibilities she had. But surely, soon enough they'd be lifted, he was convinced she'd be glad to not have that amount of a workload. 

 

"Right, could you unpack the luggage in my room and bring some jasmine tea?" His brows were slightly furrowed, she wondered why he'd ever think she would deny him a favor. Truthfully he knew her nature and wondered how'd she take to meeting the new Lady, she must be aware of her arrival by now judging by the buzz that had been going around. 

 

"Of course, it'll be no problem! See you then!" Chirping those words, the woman pranced out, readily taking on the task. She'd only been in the master's room twice, once when the furnishing was changed, the second when he was away at his most recent trip. 

 

She stopped by the kitchen, humming peacefully as the married couple of chefs nearly dropped their jaws. They asked where she was headed in such a happy mood and she cheerily replied that she'd be heading to the master's bedroom to deliver some tea and serve out a favor. They oh'd in understanding and sent her away, anticipating the explosion this time that was set in stone to occur. The pair continued to work on the meal that would not end up in disaster this time, they hoped they could redeem themselves with a successful dinner and impress the Master's wife.

 

On her way up, she cautiously carried the sterling silver tray, eyes excited and body jittery at being surrounded by his essence soon enough. She stepped up the last step and onto the navy blue carpet that extended all over the extensive halls. Turning at the end and running her hand on the framed painting of him, she spotted the door at the end of the hall and strolled towards it. The door clicked and was pushed open using her back, smile wide and bright. 

 

Anticipating an empty room, the housekeeper was unpleasantly surprised by a lump on the bed, too slender to be a man, hair long enough to be a woman. Utterly perplexed, she did not think twice to drop the tray, the fine china shattering to dozens of pieces. She fled the room in search of the raven haired man. 

 

Alerted by the wicked shrill of a broken set, the Lady jolted awake. She turned, feeling slightly threatened and  found a broken tea cup and pot scattered on the door way, tray accompanying the debris. Unsure of what to think of this, she scanned the room for bells that were used to call for assistance but found none. 

 

Huffing, she slipped on a pair of slippers derived from her suitcase and for modesty's sake, donned a robe. A sigh escaped her, upset by the interruption, she had in mind who she was going to complain to. 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if Levi seems OOC

Stepping down from the foot of the stairs, did you curiously glance around the area. You'd at least made it to the main entrance, but now you were at loss as to where to head. You knew not your way around, nor did you remember from where you'd come from. This manor alone seemed like a small castle from the exterior, you could only hope that the inner layout wasn't far to complex. Exhaling deeply, you looked ahead which led to the foyer, that much you knew, but you doubted your Lord would be outside. At your left and right were two sizable doors and you frowned for you had no clue as to where they went.

With a weary and uncertain frown, your feet carried you to the left. Your feeble arms could barely pull open the door enough to allow you to peak into the other side. However, all that you could see was a hall. You strained to peak past the right door too, disappointed by the view identical to the one you saw not too many minutes ago.

You decided to resolve your dilemma by flipping the pendant you wore. As fate would have it, you'd go through the left door. "Not one soul in sight, surely they can't be understaffed" you mumbled as you squeezed past the crevice you'd managed to make from pulling the door in a struggle.

The hall stretched far, paintings and doors lined either wall, most of which were locked and if not, just contained furnished rooms or leads to another area. The sun was still up as you strolled through a hall with an array of windows, the world beyond was lush greenery and vibrant flowers, you'd have to explore it some day and maybe paint it.

This home certainly exhibited the fact that the owner was no stranger to riches. You were even a bit concerned as your feet began to tire that you were lost. Then again, you never walked much so it could be your lack of physical exertion that you were accustomed to. However the more you walked, the more you felt fatigued and desperate to find a living soul.

You did not know the amount of time you spent wandering, but you'd had your fill after your ankles began to ache. Unwilling to move much forward, you entered the next furnished room and sat in a plush chair. All you wanted was to tell your Lord that if he kindly would, tell whoever was dropping china at the doorway of the bedroom to cease that for it quite frankly was startling and troublesome.

You were hungry, tired, and yearning for something to quell your parched throat, such an awful day was surely a bad omen that without doubt meant your life here would be abhorrent. Any hope that you could make the most of this experience was squandered as a blood curdling gunshot sent waves of shock through your body.

You darted upright and stalked towards the window, peering outside and seeing an armada of horses taking off towards the shrubbery and forestry beyond the combed fields which surrounded the area. "Christ what is going on now?" You mumbled to yourself, clutching your robe and twisting your expression in confusion. The setting sun illuminated your contorted features.

Unbeknownst to yourself, a search had just begun for none other than you. To be put simply, you'd been missing for three hours and that alone was enough to convince Levi that you'd taken off. His reasoning, 'She doesn't like it here', it went deeper than that but he didn't need to acknowledge that nor did he have to  
let his staff know.

"If she is not found alive, you all lose your jobs!" He had exclaimed, propelling everyone into a mad scurry to find the missing woman. Some had gone so far as to ride to the town beyond the forest, those who stayed behind had raked through the trees and tall grass; Levi could only guess what kind of ordeals she'd step into being a sheltered girl out in the wild with snakes and poisonous insects.

Though by the time the moon had risen, it was assumed that either A. She was dead and buried under the tall grass or B. Was very, very far away. His men were exhausted, Petra being one with the most endurance apart from him was panting heavily from tiredness. However, he refused to give up, because if she truly fell in any danger, how would he face her father who had entrusted her life and wellbeing to him. That honest man did not deserve to suffer from loss of his beloved daughter.

In addition, Levi could not bear the thought of his newlywed wife being reduced to a cadaver. His skin itched at the thought of it, eyes fueled with determination, he was intent on finding her alive, he would have it no other way.

You finally mustered the energy to wander again. You didn't particularly fancy the idea of walking aimlessly again, but you had to if you wanted to find your way back to the bedroom. The china could remain broken for all you cared, all you needed was reassurance that you were not alone in this large estate. The door clicked open and upon stepping out, did you violently collide with the body of an individual.

The air was promptly knocked out of your body, bum on the receiving end of your fall. You glanced up and sighed in relief as a blond, blue eyes boy looked back at you with shock plagued features. It seemed that something important had dawned upon him for he looked dreadful in the following seconds. You'd no moment to react before you were on your feet again and he was bent at a 90 degree angle, begging for forgiveness.

"I deeply apologize, it was not within my intentions to be the cause of your fall. I should have been more careful!"  You huffed at this, smothing out your gown.

"Nonsense, you couldn't possibly have guessed that I'd be coming out of that room" you shook your head apatheticly at his nature, you were aware the display was to save his arse only. He however, was not to blame for the hierarchy dictated his interactions with people of different statuses. "Come, give me your name and lead me to the Master"

You gently urged him as a blank countenance greeted you, piquing you as you were brimming on the edge of frustration. He seemed to again realize something of importance and cried out, "My apologies but I must rush you at once to him!" He took your shoulder in a brazen move and you felt the speed of his walk usher you forth. 

Brows knit in perplexion, you looked to him with bewilderment, "Pardon me for asking but is this such an urgent matter you need lay a hand upon me?"

He nodded furiously, forcing you to withstand the lull of ache in your muscles, you felt so exhausted from speed walking alone that you feared you'd pass out. "It's just that the whole estate believes you to be in the state of missing, you've not been seen since hours ago and the Master suggested the you perhaps were homesick."

_Why that lying scoundrel! Surely he'd make a different kind of assumption!_

You decided to test the intelligence and loyalty of this young boy, "And you believe I'd leave from... 'homesickness'?" As you gazed hardeningly at him, the burn of your stare seemed to gnaw at him.

His features contorted until he shook his head, "Unfortunately we know you as much as we know the city life - which is but a sliver - so there is no way of knowing what you are capable of."

"Yes but wonder into the wild, may I repeat, out of 'homesickness'?" You arched a brow, to which he hummed lowly and chewed his bottom lip. "Do you so blindly trust your Master, are you so tightly leashed to him that you obey and believe his most dubious words and requests?"

"I admit that it was a strange reason, but I will say once again that we are short of knowledge regarding your nature therefore the call was not for us to make, but rather the Master who knows you well enough to predict your actions"

"Or so you believe" you muttered faintly, thinking to yourself _He hardly knows me_.

"Pardon?" He asked timidly, you shook your head to dismiss his question. He certainly was no idiot, you'd have to watch your back if you were to plan anything underhanded that'd get you out of this wretched marriage.

To replace the silence, you reverted the subject to your initial inquiry, "You have yet to give me your name"

It was a split second where you barely caught his gaze of uncertainty, but just a fraction of a second was plenty to confirm that this boy was intuitive. He quietly introduced himself, as if his voice would shatter the thinly veiled suspicions rising within the both of you, "Armin Arlert"

"Oh," you mumbled, chuckling softly, "The cinder boy." He was the one covered in ashes earlier but his face was so obscured it was hardly recognizable. To distract yourself as you crossed the manor, your curiosity led you to ask, "Why were you covered in ashes earlier?"

He pinched his shoulders into his neck, nervous smile on his boyish features, "I-it's a little embarrassing"

You grinned, "Don't mind me, I won't make light of your misery" his composure crumbled subtly and you did not regret asking. The amusement was very well worth the while, you found that the door you'd primitively opened was feet away from you.

At the other side, you could clearly hear the slams and stomps elicited by an angry individual whom you no doubt believed was your life's partner. Armin visibly cringed as an upset, muffled shout could be heard and you both mustered the courage to push open the door. He seemed to be as brittle as you, you had to appreciate that you were not the only one nearly incapable of opening a mere door.

As the door swung open, Armin's high pitched voice silenced the pandemonium, his hand on your shoulder gingerly coaxed you into the main hall, "Master, I've found the Lady"

You looked up and were pierced by those steely, cold blue eyes. The rage in those orbs sunk its claws into your soul and it wasn't the first time you'd felt afraid in his presence. Levi approached you, crisp, clacking boots indicating the diminishing distance between your bodies.

You perceived the onlookers stares and refused to appear a submissive lamb before your Lord, even if as a woman, you were expected to. Still, you were afraid as you raised your chin and slowly, far too slowly, met his blistering gaze. He stood a foot away, presence overpowering you and yet still you fought to keep a facade of confidence and unperturbance.

His voice sliced the tense atmosphere, "Leave us." The small squadron of staff seemed to dissipate to thin air even before he finished speaking. You were alone and all you had to do was keep that recessive persona to indicate your apathy towards him. A gasp slipped your lips as his hand reached up and paused right besides your warm cheek.

The anticipation was wearing you away, you hoped he'd be finished soon with whatever complaints he was bound to raise. The timidity of his fingers indicated his hesitation to touch you, but when you dropped your chin, you felt his palm cup your cheek so tenderly.

_Disgusting_

He caressed your cheek and you stood still as it slipped to your nape. His other hovered over the dip of your waist, unprecedentedly gripping it you jolted slightly. He pulled you in, a loving embrace unbefitting of your detachment. His prior authority left his voice, sounding dare you say... afraid, "I thought the worst, where did you go?"

You sighed wistfully, enjoying at the very least his warmth, "I had gotten lost when I went searching for you. There was... broken china and spilled tea when I woke up. I was startled."

His grip fastened more on you, chin forced to rest atop his shoulder as he burrowed his nose into your hair. "So that's what it was..." you quietly hummed," at the very least, next time you decide to explore, take an escort or me if I'm available."

"Very well" you answered. The exhibition of vulnerability did not sway you one bit... well, maybe a little. You felt the slightest trickle of pity, did he really love you so much?

Frankly, it was hard to believe when he'd done that to you. However he seemed so closed off and stoic you had to give his claim of love for you some credit due to all those tender touches, softened gazes, and teasing moments. Granted, none of which were the least enjoyable to you.

He took one look at your arms ever resting stiffly at your side and retracted his own, your mopery igniting a dull throb in his heart. Deciding it'd be best to take you back into bed, he took your hand wordlessly and led you back into his bedroom.

The mess was gone you'd quickly noted, he stopped short and faced you, "I still have work to finish, you may sleep for the rest of the night. If you need anything, I'll be next door in my personal study" he motioned to a door in the far left of the room and you nodded in understanding.

Finally he held your face like you were a delicate flower and looked a little intimidating as he uttered, "May I?"

You'd received the memo swiftly. "I am your property Levi, you may do with me as you please" you said coolly.

He seemed to want to argue but instead laid a kiss to your forehead, you realized only when he departed, how strained he was from your words. Left to your personal devices, you climbed into bed the second time that day, the moon as your witness this time.

You laid awake for sometime, hearing the quill dancing on the surface of paper, the sound an anchor to reality, your twisted reality. It seemed to hit you at once that you were a married woman, far, very far away from your home, and miles obstructed you from the warm and loving arms of your father.

You were silent in rummaging through one of your suitcases, finding what you wanted in a quaint jewelry box. It wasn't much but the small keepsake was your only valuable treasure.

The small and golden coin shone as you gripped it tightly, pleasant and fond memories lulling you into dreamland when times were simpler. You reminisced the day you recieved your treasure, his kind smile beckoning closer your shivering, feeble body. He flipped the coin into the air, sent it towards your direction specifically. You'd caught it with an astounded expression and smiled for the first time in ages.

It was a lovely dream, you wished you never had to wake up and ever face your realities. You yearned to feel the freedom that brought along childhood. To feel the breeze of the crashing waves, roll down hills with grass that stained your dresses green, feel the sand stuffed between your toes, you wanted it so bad.

But you would not have that now, or any time soon. Though at the very least you could exist in your past within your dreams. For now, that was enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the OOCness is due to Levi being an idiot and trying to give you love, which you don't wholesomely welcome. There is a reason why you dislike him so much but that'll be later revealed. No Reader isn't be nasty just because, her hate is pretty justified but you won't know why until later!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!! There is a scene where the MC is not consenting to the advances being made on her, proceed at your discretion. There's nothing explicit but I felt the need to put this warning.

You chewed a particularly delectable morsel of your breakfast, seated at the other end of the table you checked to see if he was still staring. He was. Ever intensely you noted, dropping your fork and sipping from your tea.

You wondered why he always did so, gaze at you with those unreadable orbs donning the color of the ocean before a turbulent storm. In your 'courting days', when over for dinner, he would do so even when your parents were both present. He did it in spite of the presence of the other two most important men in the town  of Merriweather. It was most bothersome when you were attempting to tutor your pupil in religious practices.

The days he would be by, he'd insist on being with you anywhere you went, that included meals, recreational activities, outings, tutoring sessions, and praying and worshipping. All he ever did however, was stare, stare, stare, and stare. Not one for conversation, you should have anticipated as much. A series of flashes went through your mind, each a less than a second short and all regarding that insufferable, scrutinizing stare.

You involuntarily shivered at the thought of being watched so closely, you must have been still and silent for a while because he called to you. Whatever thoughts you were having disappeared at the mention of your name and you looked up, "Yes?"

"Is the food not to your liking? You've had the same blank look for a few minutes already" he inquired, bluesteel eyes narrowing in an undecipherable emotion.

You shook your head softly, "Not at all, it's quite delicious. Send my regards to the chef" and you bit into the perfectly sculpted croissant. It was still warm and soft, you wondered how could anyone ever dislike this food.

"You can thank her yourself, here she comes" he nodded his head at a familiar strawberry blond who, despite her small stature, exuded an aura of strength and confidence. She strode into the dining room, bowing deeply and with a voice befitting of a beautiful woman, addressed the Master, "Master, is breakfast to your liking?"

"Always is Petra, the Lady would like to compliment you as well" he turned the attention to you.

You smiled politely, in the face of others, you'd play the role of a proper wife. "I was thoroughly satisfied by the meal, it truly was exquisite." You may have slipped up the prior night by attempting to exhibit a display of dominance and confidence, but you knew that social construct called for a meek, quiet, obedient wife. You'd be exactly who they'd expect you to be, a perfect woman. "Thank you Ms. Petra"

She bowed again in your direction, biting back a smile, "You are very welcome madam, we'll all try our best to help you accommodate so that you don't feel homesick anymore." At this your brow twitched and you sneaked a glance at a stoic Levi.

_Bastard didn't even react_. You scowled in the confines of your mind, tearing away from the side thoughts.

Clearing your throat, you placed your utensils on the empty plate and dabbed a napkin at your lips, "I certainly look forward to having more of your food, however I won't keep you from your duties any longer"

"You are dismissed Petra, thank you as well" Levi mentioned, the woman nodding and excusing herself. You were left in silence with your husband. The burn of his gaze was ever present again and you had half the desire to demand what it was that he wanted.

Emerging from the quietness came his voice, "I need to discuss with you a few things, let's head to my main study." It wasn't like you had much a choice other than stand and follow him or wait for him to come to you and help you up. You realized in a compromising situation that he'd prefer you carry out with the latter. Thus you waited and offered your hand which he promptly took.

His teeth removed your glove and kissed your knuckles, at which you would have bristled if it were not for the fact that a footman stood just outside the clear doorway. Levi slipped the article back on and proceeded to guide you with his arm entwined in yours.

The sounds of your clacking heels shifted to sync with the tap of his slacks, you would not dare risk to break your carefully constructed wall of apathy. If you were to attempt a casual conversation, you feared he might believe you were becoming comfortable and might push you further into this relationship as he'd done once beforehand. He had to know you despised him, even if he didn't acknowledge it aloud it would still be a victory for you.

Making it explicitly clear that you held no interest beyond pleasing your father and societal expectations was your only card that would surely leave a scalding pain. It would never however, wish to rival the pain he'd caused you. You hadn't realized that you'd arrived to your destination.

Large mahogany doors stretched before you, mocking your strength or more accurately put, lack of. Though they looked haunting in their own right, the man at your right seemed to effortlessly open one of them and invited you in. He strolled to his desk and plopped on the velvet chair as you stood idly by.

Your hands roamed the craftsmanship in a particular bookcase. The spines of thick books lined the shelf, each a volume of expensive quality. He shuffled around for some papers and when he cleared his throat, did you then turn to face him.

As you were bending to seat yourself on the smaller chair before him, he shook his head scoldingly so much that you felt like you'd just committed a crime. You spoke out of necessity, "Where then?" The color drained from your face as he gestured to his legs. You grimaced at the thought of it but nevertheless walked over.

His knee was readily available and through your slothful actions, he took matters and your waist into his own hands, not wasting a second to seat you were he wanted. You would have been embarrassed if this were any other man, but this being Levi prevented you from feeling flustered.

_He is no man, a lowlife pig is all he ever will be known as by me_

He would have liked you _**to**_ relax, attempted to by dragging you further up his lap until you were flush against his chest. Alas you were still and unrelentingly stiff, void of emotion. His hand was strewn over your mid section, gripping your taught, corset bound stomach as his other pulled a few pages from the surface of his desk.

You caught sight of the words, 'Daily' and 'Duties'. This you anticipated, you nearly sighed as he began speaking, "As you likely already know, being the Lady of any house comes with certain responsibilities. I need you to help me maintain this household, will you?"

Denying the responsibility would only upset him, even if this was a goal of yours, you did not want to strike with such a petty thing, "Of course, what should I be expecting of this responsibility?"

"It shouldn't be much, Collette handles these duties at the moment but I'll relieve her of a few" he informed at which you hummed with interest. There it was again, that name... 'Collette'.

"Collette?" You repeated, brows slightly wrung. Levi nodded and elaborated.

"A childhood friend of mine" you let out a small 'oh', refraining from prying any more. The list was laid on your lap and you scanned at all the circled inked words. You assumed you'd be given those duties. One caught your eye in particular-

"You'd like me to decide the meals?" You inquired, flabbergasted by the notion. You knew close to nothing with foods and you guessed that deciding meals wasn't as simple as picking a recipe from a cookbook.

He hummed, "Yes, I'll have Collette teach you about the duties you must carry out." He said this but for some odd reason, your gut twisted at his words. You couldn't place your finger on it, the iffy feeling elicited in you upon the mention of that name. He must've mistook your uncertainty with nerves because his lips were caressing the length of your neck in the following seconds.

You froze and strangled down a whimper of fear. Try as you might, aberrant memories rushed to your mind and you had to fight the urge to do anything rash. "You'll be fine, I know you're bright"

Refraining from making any audible sounds of protest, you nodded and twiddled with your thumbs, "Very well, if you say so. But I'm still uncertain about the meal deciding, could I change it with something else?"

He lingered a kiss too long, forcing you to involuntarily squeeze your eyes shut and retain the salty drops from leaving your tear ducts. He finally answered, albeit breath brushing your skin, "It's doable, I'll try to find something that isn't too overwhelming."

Nearly choking out the words, "Thank you" the patience in you was wearing thin and you didn't know what you'd do if you suddenly broke down in front of him. He did not know that you were aware, but you could never tell him, your father's feeble life depended on it.

The words of your mother echoed in your head, " _It'll kill him_!" And surely it would because he believed Levi to be a virtuous, honest man. With that image shattered, would come the painstaking realization that you'd been married off to a complete monster. Surely your father would blame himself and the guilt and shame would wear away at his fragile heart. You did not want that.

Lost in a sea of thoughts, your lack of attention had failed to alert you that he was toying with your choker but you could only do so much. You were a woman, his wife, he had the right to do whatever he pleased with you and you would not raise a single qualm; also due to the fact that you verbally submitted yourself as his property the prior night.

Intimate physical activities were normal between married couples, your duties included pleasing your husband. You wished however, that he be more considerate and attentive in your reactions. It truly was a shame that he took your pinched in shoulders and lowered chin as coyness. If one thing made you quiver in fear, it was his wrath and you feared you might evoke it by denying him.

Thus you granted him the access to your neck, eyes shut tightly as you withstood his advances. You did not protest to his adjusting you to better access your front. He'd begun unbuttoning your blouse when you couldn't handle anymore, "What if someone comes in?" You blindly hoped with desperation that it'd be enough for him to hold off until you could mentally prepare yourself.

"They know to knock, besides, no one but maids or footmen come in here until noon" the clasp on your blouse's high collar came undone and your clavicle was exposed to his hungry gaze. "Now, shall we enjoy ourselves?"

You made a noise of hesitation to which he paused and looked up into your eyes. Always eloquent in fabricating excuses, you quickly explained, "But must we do this in here?" He frowned, you continued, "I fear for the quality of your important documents is all"

He regarded you closely and you remained with lips pressed into a thin line and intense eyes gazing hard at him. His response - bite your neck. Your hand reflectively raised high above both your heads, going unnoticed by him occupied on your collarbone. Smothering any urge to violently react, you harshly clawed at his shoulder blades and he groaned.

You realized your mistake far too late because without a moment spared, he encircled his arms tightly around you, crushing you and ravishing your virgin skin. Clawing at his shoulder perhaps made him believe he'd gotten a some kind of erotic reaction from you.

His mouth latched onto your flesh and in retaliation, your verbal reaction was involuntary. This only spurned him on, your breathing was picking up from the panic. Questions raced through your mind, alert bells rang in your ears, tears welled up in your eyes. You didn't want this, you didn't it with _him_.

The doors swung open and you released a loud gasp of relief. It seemed you went limp in the very embrace of who you most detested. The person you did not see who it was but they certainly saw you and him, modesty be damned, you were grateful to whoever had just barged in.

"For fuck's sake, can't you learn to knock?" It seemed Levi knew exactly who'd come in because he still had yet to remove his eyes from your skin. You hastily buttoned your shirt and smoothed out your hair.

The silence intrigued you and when you turned around, a fairly tall brunette will long and straight hair stood in the doorway. Her deep brown eyes bore into your own, hands glued tightly to her sides. She was dressed in what you'd least expect a woman to wear, brown trousers and a loose shirt with peasant sleeves. She had a twinkle in her eye and you felt a familiar iffy feeling in your gut.

"Collette," you stiffened and she seemed to react the same. Her pointed nose and tall forehead, not to mention those narrow eyes displayed an intimidating aura. He said your name softly, "she is my wife and the new Lady of this house"

You swore you saw murderous intent in that glare.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to say, what to say. 
> 
> Reader's role is inspired by a plantation Mistress even if I haven't exactly mentioned a specific location. That is why in spite of feeling so much apathy for Levi, she can't fight him head on because being a proper woman has always been incorporated into her values. If you couldn't already tell, this takes place during a not at all modern time.


	6. Chapter 6

Perturbed by the glacial glare very prominently directed to your compromising state, you waited patiently for the very welcomed intrusion to offer a reaction, anything other than being so still where it seemed she mimicked a statue. For a moment you believed she'd swan dive over the desk and squeeze the air put of your lungs, so it was especially surprising to see this loud spirit bow.

She bowed indeed, but poorly hidden was her distaste in the act. You waited until she was at her full height to offer pleasantries, "It's a pleasure to meet you, I hear you're most efficient in maintaining this household"

Your gut twisted uncomfortably when she met your gaze, Levi was naturally very perceptive so either he didn't want to interject or wanted to entertain his sick self by observing the scene unfold in the heavy tension. You knew not else what to say, all you could do was stare until someone decided to speak up. Collette did first and you were taken aback by her brazen inquiry, "This is the business deal you went to take care of?"

You did not grant her the satisfaction of seeing you flabbergasted however and any curl on your lips unwinded to a firm line. Levi had been watching, vainly hoping the brunette would not utter any stupid thing, he should have known better. Friends were important but if he wanted to capture your heart, he needed to defend you, thus he frowned, "Don't spout shit, I allow you to speak to me how you please but you will not disrespect my wife and your mistress"

In that moment, any exposed flesh flashed a red hue. She was incredibly upset and mad, you could tell from the way her face contorted alone. Her lips melded into one another and every so often she'd gap them only to shut them. You closely regarded her as she spoke to Levi with a tight, forced tone, "I came by to tell you we've chopped a chicken for today's meal." No doubt about it, the gleam in her eye when her attention was on Levi spoke dozens of words. The red had yet to diffuse and murderous intent still suffocated the atmosphere, but her softened gaze at your Lord was an outright spoken confession. The fool didn't realize how obvious she was and you pitied her interest in men.

"Don't change the subject." He sharply stated, a shaken look on her features at his words. You would have shivered if you hadn't spent the last several months, nearly a year, listening to that same ruthless, uncaring tone accompanied by a lack of expressions. He surprised everyone in the room as he demanded, "Apologize." It was firm, cruel, and totally unnecessary. You would have felt bad for the woman if she hadn't made it so explicitly clear that in the few moments of meeting you, she despised you with all her being.

"Levi it was a joke" she quickly excused, lips falling to an overturned U. Her gaze said it all, she'd rather burn in hell than ask for an forgiveness.

You would not be insulted, "It's worth nothing if it's not meant." Riling her up would have been fun but you needed to keep it classy, "Besides, all it was was a bad taste joke. I can handle it. I'm not so sensitive" you whispered the last part, winking mischievously. If she'd like to get a rise from you, petty, snide comments wouldn't do it.

"Tch," your features scrambled, it was that silly sound from the day before. You had half the heart to chuckle and half of the other to ask why he made that ridiculous sound. "If it's like that then fine, but this is your first and last warning, don't fuck up." Ever the dashing gentleman with a gold tongue you noted.

"I... understand" you huffed to yourself, thinking how much more painful it must've been having to say that than having to watch her say it. "About today's meal..."

She tested the waters and Levi caved, "Yes, have you done a recount of the livestock?" It seemed they were discussing important matters now and you wandered your gaze to his desk.

It was very well organized, craftsmanship appeasing even in spite of the limited flaws. Your curiosity was piqued at a locked drawer near the bottom, silver key on the surface of the desk by his resting arm. The noise was drowned out once you entered your thoughts. You recalled his words from a few days after your wedding when the pair of you were still in Merriweather, 'What's mine is yours' he'd said.

You boldly reached for the key but your wrist was caught just as you'd brushed the item. He kissed your fingertips, the amount of affection he'd piled onto you ever since you became distant was enough to begin driving you mad. Before you could imagine all suspicious contents within the drawer, he drew your attention to the conversation between the brunette and himself.

"I hope you were paying attention, the information should serve you well when performing your house duties." You were about to speak when the interruption of Collette sliced in.

"Pardon!?" Levi gave her a look of befuddlement, well, as much as he could. It wasn't much, just a twitch of his brow. "What duties?"

"As the Lady of this household, I must help my husband successfully maintain it." You smiled falsly cheerily, watching her mood descend further and further made you wonder if taunting her was really something intelligent and safe. No matter, you concluded Levi was wrapped around your finger, it's not like she could do much but be upset. "You'll be relieved of your duties promptly, I will be handling them"

"But what will I do!?" Controlled voice volume seemed to have been discarded, you maintained your composure at her demanding, entitled tone.

"You could assist me, similarly like a personal _maid_ would" you implemented emphasis on the word, striking the last blow to the nail as it seemed.

"You can't do that!" She declared and you turned to Levi, puckering your lips as he sighed in defeat. He didn't enjoy dramatic displays, you conveyed through your gaze that his help was unwanted. Finally you muttered to only his ears, 'I change my mind, I prefer this over a shallow apology.'

You turned your attention back to the woman, expression mirroring Levi's, "No, it's you who can't do that. Watch your tongue girl, I will not stand for this blatant, unhinged disobedience." Even though she clearly was much older than you, it was much better to use that condescending key to squander any ideas she might get that she could push you around. "We start tomorrow, don't be late"

"Levi-" she pleaded, you crossed your legs and arms, waving her off.

"Dismissed." With shaking fists, after several minutes of standing stupidly in place, looking shocked, she stormed out and slammed the doors shut. You grimaced at the brute strength these people possessed to open doors you couldn't even make budge with your best efforts.

You shifted on his lap, only realizing that this had all just occurred while you sat like a submissive woman. His face was curtained by his raven fringe of his undercut, fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose mercilessly as he sighed.

Gazing at his handsome features and well built structure, you recalled you'd never mourned the death of your love for him. You hadn't shed a tear in the name of your loss and even now you wouldn't, not at least in the presence of others. Cupping his face in your hands, he looked up and though expertly hidden, there was hope in his eyes even as your cold stare greeted him.

Your lips tingled as you closed the gap between them and his forehead, once pressing them, it sealed your promise.

With this kiss I seal my promise to forever harbor this seething hatred for you Levi Ackerman.

You would never know that Levi felt that startling freeze of your kiss. It was far from warm, loving, and compassionate. It felt frigid, empty, cold, and absolutely dreadful. He only slumped, yet to be defeated but exhausted from this continuous battling. He had your heart one moment and in the next, in what he believed to be a sturdy, iron grip, it had slipped through the crevices of his fingers like running water.

You felt his arms for the umpteenth time compress you against him, his head leaned into your bosom as he sighed. His warm breath permeated the sewn fabric of your clothing and tickled your skin. It was something to think about, if you'd stayed ignorant that is, how would you be at this moment. Likely happily playing housewife and smothering him in affection instead of the other way around.

From a side perspective as you caressed his silky hair, your eyes landed on the same key. They roamed down unto the only locked drawer and your features twitched as you felt as if you knew exactly what was hidden within.

It certainly must be what I think it is...

With this in mind, you'd soon devise a plan to eventually get inside that drawer and see for yourself if your predictions were facts.

~▪~

After excusing yourself, you'd pushed the doors with all the weight of your body and stepped out into the hallway. Having memorized from where you'd earlier ventured from, you knew exactly how to arrive at the main hall.

In your quiet and peaceful stroll, you'd bumped into a familiar blond.

"Hello Armin, how do you do?" You smiled softly... genuinely. The boy bowed, partaking in pleasantries.

"Fine m'lady, how can I be of assistance on this fine afternoon?" Hanging from his fingers was a feathered duster, in the other a book of fairy mythology.

"Play a game with me," you uttered, "my day is terribly boring." You looked up and discovered a nervous, half sympathetic smile. Before he could speak, you went ahead, "Pardon me, I forgot about your work."

"I'm truly sorry but I am stumped today, I can bring you some tea however?" You nodded and asked him to bring you along. It wouldn't hurt to learn a little more about the geographical layout of this massive manor.

You discussed minor things on your way to the kitchen, mainly him answering your questions about the staff. Eren, who's striking eyes you'd yet to forget, was his same age along with Mikasa, the pale beauty you'd seen yesterday.

All three appeared to be orphans, but that did not deter them from moral values and a strong work ethic. Eren however, was highlighted for his rivalry with the gentleman he'd orally sparred with on your first meeting. It was mentioned that the juvenile fighting did not degrade the quality of his work though.

Subtly be dammed, you made your distaste in Collette's character explicitly clear, Armin wasn't too good on hiding it either. "And is she usually so entitled?"

"She's been like that since my friends and I arrived here, it seems being close to the Master has ignited a superiority complex" you chuckled at his shameless snideness and then recalled the scolds and reprimands of the nuns at the church.

'Proper ladies and daughters of God don't gossip. Remember to be graceful,, quiet, and always obey your husand, father, and brother'

The final spiel was always added to the end of a lecture, it'd likely become their moto from the numerous times they'd repeated it. So deep were you into your indulging memories you'd miserably failed to be cautious of objects in front of you.

You yelped as you crashed headfirst into a pillar, stumbling a bit all whilst Armin hummed worriedly and appalled. He inspected the area whilst you waved him off, masking your embarrassment with indifference, "I don't believe I know where I've gotten this clumsiness from, sorry for the trouble"

"No problem at all, but are you sure you're fine? Would like any ice, a soothing lotion?" You shook your head, loose curls undulating softly.

"It was just a small bump on my forehead, I'm certain I'll be fine" you assured, beckoning him to continue to lead you into the kitchen.

He finally relented and stepped ahead of you, "Very well, but please allow me to put ice on it once we reach the kitchen"

You nodded in understanding, muffedly adding, "You mother me more than my own mother" to which a sweet little laugh came from him. You chuckled as well and tagged behind him, speaking more of trivialities rather than the much... 'interesting' Collette.

_Be nice, be good, be careful. You can't afford to mess with the wrong person here, Levi might be willing to go to the world's horizon for me but how much command does he really reign over that woman? No more unnecessary confrontations and taunting._

But the more you spoke about matters with Armin, the more they cycled back to that woman. She certainly sounded like one to go to unimaginable lengths in order to get what she desired. He mentioned that whilst violence had been used by her to achieve those goals, reprimands from a disapproving Levi had been involved but almost to no avail.

You discussed an event Armin had found memorable and worthy of sharing in regards to her character, you heard a harrowing tale of a poor peasant maid being stripped of her only job mercilessly due to the fact of bringing the wrong tea to the Master. You weren't gossiping, you were collecting intel on your future  conferer.

"Collette tolerates no mistakes, especially if it comes to the Master." He told you and you nodded thoughtfully, mulling over this information.

What you couldn't understand you spoke aloud, "If mistakes aren't tolerated, then how is it that on my day of arrival, you all weren't fired for and forgive me for being so blunt, making such a drastic mistake?"

Armin laughed, "Yesterday sure was interesting." You waited until he finished reminiscing, perking as he explained, "It is because some of us have been working here for a long time, Master Levi would never allow any of us to be dismissed unless we did something truly wicked or betrayed him."

"I see those who are more recently hired receive the short end of the stick?" He solemnly nodded, but befalling his face was a countenance of enlightenment.

"But you're here now, you can choose to go about it a different way! One of the maids overheard a conversation in the Master's study, as I was told, you are to take the responsibility of handling the household." He mumbled the following which you disregarded at the moment, "The maids know everything"

You shyly grinned, arms stretched behind you and low as you looked to the ground, "I did say I would, and my Lord did not intervene when I ordered her to become my personal maid... but I fear I've made a grave mistake..."

At this he gifted you a sympathetic smile, words of comfort a nice addition too, "Worry not, all the staff knows how hectic it can become. I'm positive everyone will be willing to help and correct you until you're perfect at the job!"

"That's quite a relief to hear. But that isn't my only concern" you uttered, twiddling with your bracelet. In all your years, you didn't ever think you'd loose all confidence in the face of a young footman. However your insecurities were being shed light upon so you permitted your usual demeanor to be curtained.

"I'm all ears madam" he said, grinning reassuringly.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to speak about it." He looked expectant as you gathered your bearings. Sighing finally, you began, "Given from what I've heard, Collette does sound like a rather complex, interesting character with troubling qualities. Do I need to be wary of her?"

It was a split moment of hesitation but that alone was sufficient to determine she posed some kind of threat. If it'd been anybody else who was less perceptive, they'd have missed Armin's mearly unseen hiccup masked by a very swift and clever cover up, "Master Levi would never allow any harm to befall you M'lady, Collette and everyone here knows that."

"Alright" you mumbled, face reverting to stoicism. You reached the kitchen at last and were pleasantly surprised. "Good afternoon Ms. Petra"

The woman occupied the room with another gentleman. He was familiar but yet again, you'd seen a limited number of faces yesterday. They were scarce enough to be recognized if seen again. Just like with Petra and Armin, you had seen this fellow once already.

They bowed deeply and you nodded gently at their greetings, "A pleasure seeing you again M'lady." Petra was quite eloquent in her pronounciation. She did not don an accent like Collette did, she didn't seem casual and carefree either. They weren't bad qualities but they certainly weren't most desired in a professional setting.

You turned to the other, "And you are?"

He introduced himself, "Olou Bozado" you let out a small 'aha!' with a muted snap of your fingers.

Remembering the incident, you smiled wryly, "How is your tongue, that bite seemed dreadful"

At this he turned bright red and scratched his neck, releasing a "Tch!" You twitched at it and merely accepted it for it seemed that it was a sound you'd need to get used to... ridiculous as it was. "I'm doing fine now, it didn't even hurt"

Petra slyly smirked and you laughed, "Well I'm glad you're doing alright. I'm here because I requested some tea and followed Armin to better understand this estate's layout"

"Oh, we'll get the kettle then!" They both took off to gathering the supplies and you had to stop them promptly.

"Actually, I'd like to learn how to make tea myself. I know it's my husband's preferred drink and serving him would certainly please him" you smiled sweetly, inwardly shivering at how convincing you sounded.

Petra 'awed' whilst Olou smiled, they seemed to believe you were absolutely smitten with the man. "Don't worry M'lady, we'll teach you how to make it just to his standards." Petra reassured.

Olou added, "Yep! It's a good thing we have Petra here, she and that blasted- hnng!" He bit his tongue mid sentence and exhaled harshly when recieving a blow to his ribs by the petite strawberry blond.

You were confused until Armin cut in, "It's fine, she's aware of Collette's reputation and how the staff feels towards her"

Petra puckered her lips, eyes going round, "Oh really?" You nodded, to which she sheepishly smiled, "Sorry dear, proceed." The loving word caught your ears and you immediately looked to their left hands, thin and modest bads of gold decorated one another's ring fingers.

He in what you could only assume the action to be, clicked his tongue. More sourly than prior to the painful interception, Olou proceeded, "As I was saying, Petra and that blasted," he emphasized the word and you hummed, "that blasted Collette know best how to make his tea."

"Amazing, if it isn't too much to ask, would you kindly instruct me on the process of making tea?" You clasped your hands together and leaned forward a sliver.

She nodded furiously, "Of course! It'd be my absolute pleasure!"

"Wonderful! Shall we begin?"

"Right away!"

It was absolutely delightful spending your day with those good people, they seemed nothing close to your expectations. Petra was graceful, sweet, and very patient. She was hardworking, did not loose her kindness even as you consistently burned the condiments, and was quite humorous. Armin had left shortly afterwards when he collected your Lord's afternoon tea.

The boy seemed nervous and anxious at times but also was very kind. Olou certainly had his issues refraining from making snide comments but you pardoned him as it was just his character. He was incredibly skilled in the kitchen you noticed. When Petra was busy instructing you, he was handling several different items on the stove and chopping vegetables at what seemed the same time.

You felt utterly incompetent. So when evening had settled and dinner had commenced, you excused yourself and requested the humble favor, "Please help me become eloquent in my duties as you two are." They sent you off with smiles and reassurances, both of which you wholesomely appreciated.

You realized as you strolled to the dining hall, that Armin hadn't given you the ice for the swelling and that it'd be a while before you found your way to your destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol it's only a matter of time before Levi blows up from frustration and becomes his usually cold, callous way. He literally has no idea why suddenly Reader decided to hate him serveral days before their wedding day.


	7. Chapter 7

It was likely witching hour you guessed by the positioning if the moon. Your robe was loosely fastened, the fabric spilling down your arm as you sat peacefully. You beheld the waning moon which shed light into the room.

You had not slept properly since you arrived, always fearing Levi would do something to you in spite of being fully aware he wouldn't try anything, well at the very least if you were under sleep's spell. It was something you'd always find when you awoke in a cold sweat at these ungodly hours, the amber light creeping from under the door cavity was persistent every night without fail.

That entailed that he did not sleep, or perhaps did however very little. You never dared interrupt him, you'd kept your interactions short and scarce. If he would touch you, you'd shrink away, if he kissed you, you'd allow it but never returned the gesture, you knew he knew you were unhappy, or maybe only suspected it. An impeding confrontation was on the horizon, you knew. At this thought, the hairs on your skin stood on end and you shivered even with the balmy summer breeze caressing your skin.

You spied your reflection on the glass panes you were leant against, seeing your own lifeless eyes gazing disinterestedly back. A frown was firmly set on your lips, you furrowed your brows at what you'd become, hated it.

You shook away your thoughts and occupied your mind with other things... other people.

Collette was unexpectedly obedient to your demands, she would carry out orders wordlessly and swiftly. Though her demeanor portrayed an exceptional employee, her eyes honed an ocean of scalding lava searing as hot as the hatred she held for you.

You couldn't blame her however, you after all, were the wife of the man she stupidly loved. Your hunch had in fact, been true, she loved him dearly. It was borderline unhinged, excessive,  and chaotic love that she felt.

More disturbed than surprised were you when a few nights ago, you found her taking the laundry for washing as she roughly handled your fine silks and cottons, and with Levi's she'd gently scrub and wring, even stealing a whiff before the article was soaked in lukewarm water over the boiling water used on yours.

You grimaced in annoyance as you recalled how your clothes had been ruined after being exposed to that torturous procedure but you never outright told Levi who'd it'd been. For now you'd collect as much cards and then later use them to return Collette her unwanted favors tenfold.

The orchard before you was beautiful, a striking contrast to Collette's soul and Levi's values you noted. The different plants and trees scattered the area and yet, the colors and positioning all seemed to come together to create a beautiful garden. You'd dare call it an eden.

Studying the area whilst minding the dark filter of the night, you were startled by a blob of black within a gap of two bushes. You felt the creeping feeling of being watched as you narrowed your eyes, attempting to make out what exactly it was you were looking at.

The dark silhouette leaped out of the space and absconded in what you could only describe as what was slithering. It looked human and was quickly approaching the orchard's wall. Your hands shook a little as you hopped off the sill and curled your toes when coming to stand before Levi's personal study.

He'd said to alert him if you needed anything. This wasn't as if you were seeking comfort after a nightmare or anything of the likes, you were concerned for your safety, you knew that and he would too. Heaven forbid you gave him the wrong idea.

Even your breath shook as you promptly pushed the door, behind a desk was Levi working away who noticed you immediately. You gave yourself no time to scrutinize the new territory and marched straight over to him.

He did the same as he headed towards you. You did not recede as he held your face and studied your worried features, he was first to break the silence, "What's wrong? Why are you awake at this hour and why do you look so pale?"

You didn't realize how terribly you were shaking or how disturbed you looked until you felt Levi's still hand hold and steady yours. You breathed a little heavily and blurted out, "Someone's out there in the orchard, I don't think it was anyone patrolling, they'd take the exit instead of jumping over the wall. They were only silhouette, moving very fast, I noticed them and then they emerged from a bush and-"

"Shh" he quieted you, guiding you to the seat positioned by a cozy corner and seating you on the plush and comfortable chair; he wrapped you in a quilt and moved the hair from your eyes. Afterwards, he stalked to the wide window and pulled apart the curtains, eyes narrowing as he scanned the area.

It was a while before he returned to you, finding that you were still trembling and certainly rivaled the moon with how pale you'd gone. He pulled two handles situated on the wall with others lining the plank of wood they were fastened to and ttached to them were thin ropes.

The ring of two bells was obstructed and muffled by the distance and you wondered who he'd just summoned. As you stared at the window, your chin was stolen from midair and coaxed to facing him. Your Lord observed you, seeing and sensing your unease, he did not know if it was because he was touching you or because of what you'd just claimed you saw.

In the highstrung state you currently were restrained in, you jolted at the sound of knocking at the bedroom door and attempted to regain your bearings.

Levi frowned at the unrelenting fear on your face and he ran a thumb over the surface of your cheek, "I'll be right back, just stay calm." So easy was it to say that, you hung your head as he stepped away and outside.

Shortly afterwards, you heard a muffled conversation as a pair of feet seemed to scamper away and two pairs headed into the room. It was Levi and who you'd come to know as Connie, the gardener. He looked exhausted and frankly, upset to be awake.

Levi sat at your side, hand on your shoulder, "She saw someone by the south wall of the orchard, have Sasha shoot the fucker if it really is who I think it is." Your wide eyes settled on a very serious looking Levi. He returned your gaze with his own cold one, the promise of telling you later in his eyes.

"But boss, didn't you want to question him?" Connie asked, seeming to perk up at Levi's last statement. So they were aware of who he was talking about? "It takes time to climb over the wall, and he's not exactly in good shape, I think we can apprehend him this time."

"No, shoot him." He firmly stated, you were appalled at the brazen gall to be willing to kill someone so freely. However you did not know the history behind this mystery man, for all you knew, he could be a murderer. And yet the church's morals rang in your head;

_You shall not kill_

_No matter what_

"No matter what..." you mumbled and Levi turned to you, eyebrow raised.

"What was that?" He lifted your face again and searched your empty eyes. The scare had passed, all that was left was your unease with your seemingly ruthless, unmerciful spouse. He seemed hesitant to leave you to your own thoughts but nevertheless, turned back to Connie, "Kill him, I'd rather that pile of shit is dead. At least then, he wouldn't be able to escape and hurt anyone else"

You couldn't deny you were intrigued with this whole ordeal. However you were still teeming with nerves and mortification, what in the heavens had you been hurdled into? Was your life in danger? However what you were most concerned with was with the thought of how far a length would Levi go to achieve what he wanted.

He'd done that abhorrent act of selfishness to you, someone who he claimed to love, but this clearly was someone who he was not even remotely fond of. You feared for that man, felt the chill of Levi's frigid glare directed to the nocturnal outside. He barked the order to Connie who excused himself and resolve was very sheer, more obstructed by his own disturbance.

Someone else knocked and Levi called, "Come in!" Petra entered with a silver tray: on it, a tea cup and pot riding on the surface. The scent of peppermint wafted into the room and you turned around to greet the chef.

With all the time you spent in the kitchen, it was no matter of mystery as to why you felt so comfortable around her. She had come in with a tired face which was instantly reduced to one of worry as she saw yours. Levi removed the books on the small coffee table to allow the strawberry blond room to place the tray.

"Oh my! You look as pale as a sheet!" She exclaimed, ushering the tea into your hands and warning you of it's hot contents. She turned to Levi as you sipped cautiously in silence. "Is it true he's returned?"

"Likely," Levi faced you afterwards, "what exactly did you see?" You gulped the minty liquid, exhaling with your dry eyes tightly screwed shut.

You didn't know where to begin, did you really want a man to die at the expense of your claim? What if it was someone completely different than who they were talking about. It could be that way and for your fault, they'd be shot promptly and killed.

However undeniably, that blood curdling feeling of being watched entered your sensory memory, the cup clattered as you held it over the dish, your voice lowly speaking and prompting them to lean in, "I-I... was looking outside the window after waking up. I saw a strange silhouette hiding within the snowball viburnum." You paused and sipped, "I could feel eyes on me as I tried to make it out in the darkness only for him to take off towards the far wall."

"He was so close?" Petra questioned, you nodded. That particular flower bush you'd referred to was almost nearly under the bedroom's window.

What you couldn't understand was Connie's earlier words. You looked to your husband and knit your brows, "If he's so out of shape as Connie says, how did he run so quickly?"

Levi snorted, a sound you'd never heard before, "Connie is like everyone else, including you." You arched an eyebrow, "He's afraid of death, whether he's in control or not. He only said that so I'd consider the option of bringing that shit in for questioning. That way, he wouldn't have to dirty his hands."

You pressed your lips into one another, Petra added, "Connie is just a kid afterall, I'm sure he's concerned as to whether he's doing the right thing or not"

"But by letting that bastard live, he's letting himself and everyone in this estate fall into the risk of being targeted. What's the life of a scumbag for the safety of innocent people?" Levi had made his point and Petra agreed with a nod of her head. 

Your shy voice rose slightly in volume as you turned your gaze to your Lord, "If it's so easy for you to say that, why isn't it you hunting down that man?" You didn't ask maliciously or with ill intent, you were genuinely curious as to why if it was so simple to him, was there the need to make someone do something they didn't want to.

Levi sighed, he turned to Petra as he removed the empty cup in your hold and transferred it to the tray, "You may go" was all he said. She bid you two a good night and wished you to feel better. You smiled at her retreating form and waited with your back turned for Levi's impeding continuation. "Face me when I speak to you" he said coldly and you did as told, sensing his disconcernment. He uttered your name in the same tone he'd used when he first met you, the same tone he used to address everyone else, you were not used to being everyone else. "Look at me."

"Yes Levi." You stated, drifting your gaze to meet his. He looked absolutely terrifying, you assumed this is how everyone else also felt whenever speaking to him. He'd let that softer him finally be shielded by his usual cold exterior, you were at a lost as to what to say or do now that you weren't recieving the special treatment that brought along being his wife.

"If I am not out there with a gun in my hand, looking for that shithead, it's because I'm here." You nodded, wondering where he was going about this with that very obvious fact. "I'm here to keep you safe, staying at your side in case that fucker manages to slip in here and hurt you while I'm away to supposedly ensure your protection" there was a glint of pain in his eyes as he mentioned this, you frowned.

"It's happened before hasn't it?" he merely looked away. You persisted, "You 'went away' and that someone was hurt?" He deflated after a tense minute in his seat and your lip twitched. There was a feeling of guilt weighing down on your heart for being so insensitive, you reached over, pausing momentarily to contemplate if what you were doing really was in accordance to your feelings.

 _It's only an act of comforting, nothing more. I have to as his wife_.

Your fingers settled on his cheek, cupping the area as you smoothed down his skin. For a fleeting moment, you thought you felt the constricting of facial muscles before the shedding of tears however, he was quick to replace it as he caught your hand and kissed your palm. You smiled wearily, "My sincerest apologies, I didn't mean to sound so crass"

He ignored your apology, or well, more appropriately put, didn't acknowledge it. All he did was drag your hand back to its former place on his cheek and encouraged you to stroke him. You did so, your eye lids slowly closing as you continued your gentle ministrations.

It seemed the storm had passed, and with it, your nerves. The tea had worked marvelously because after sitting for a limited while, you didn't realize your head had lolled to the side and your body had gone limp.

In your unconscious state, Levi looked at your arm that'd fallen on his chest and followed it to your unconscious form. He removed the quilt and your robe, snorting once again but this particular time because of your attire. It seemed your nightgown had been worn one too many times and hadn't come out in time with the last batch of laundry.

He scooped you into his arms, hearing your release of breath as your position shifted. He'd remind someone to fetch you more comfortable night clothes, your crude aunt's sinful intentions be damned. Granted, in his eyes you were certainly a beautiful woman, your body just as beautiful but there was nothing sexual when he changed you into more comfortable attire.

You fit fine into a cotton nightshirt of his, they were afterall, unnaturally long so your modesty was well preserved. He finally drew the bed sheets over your curled up form and caressed your smooth cheek, finally departing with a kiss to your forehead and twirl of your loose locks.

He paused on his way to his study, turning to behold you with bewilderment.

 _Why have you become so cold?_ He thought, crossing his arms and gazing at your peacefully slumbering self. _Could it be you- no, there was no way you found out..._

The idea of you discovering his unforgivable act of selfishness made him uneasy. _I shouldn't of ever gone about it in that way, a fucken piece of shit is what I am..._

He crossed the room towards you again, removed his clothes to change into his night attire and for the first time in months, laid on his bed. It was an internal battle that he lost as he reached over to embrace you, he loved you so much and yet the pain and guilt of his actions wore away at him every time he looked at your unknowing face. Leaning down, his lips caressed the shell of you ear and gently, he whispered brokenly, "Please... forgive me."

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

The gentle caress of warmness soothed your body, you could feel yourself melting into the soft, plush mattress beneath the comfortable comforter. A powerful protective force held you tightly and securely and you sighed in bliss as ginger touches smoothed down your hair. You slowly peeled your lids open, shrouded in darkness there was nothing to make out. As you shifted, whatever held you did too. It wasn't until you brought your hand to your front to push away at the warm force holding you. That was the moment you sensed beneath the pads of your fingers rigid flesh. Instinctively you felt around the unknown territory, blocks of more flesh were touched by your hand until you realized what you were touching.

Better yet put, who you were touching. Wrestling out of the sheets in a fray, you'd only managed to free your head and came face to face with a lowly snoring Levi. That's when you felt that the thin straps of your negligee had become long and soft sleeves and the hem had extended to your knees. " _Mon seigneur_!" You whisper shouted, covering your mouth promptly with both your hands. The panic of what this scene entailed led you to speak in a different language.

You couldn't feel anything underneath this night shirt, all you knew was that it was plagued with Levi's scent, that he was sleeping in indecent attire and by that you meant only his lower half was decent, and that the two of you were laying in the same bed, cuddled up against one another.

Last night you recalled perfectly, neither of you had done away with any funny business, you'd alerted him, discussed some things, and had fallen asleep in his study. There was no more you remembered

_He wouldn't, would he?_

You became more panicked, breathing rate increasing and eyes watering at the idea of having your body used in such a distasteful manner. You tried to convince yourself if anything did happen, that it was utterly fine.

You're his wife, you're here to please him. What were you expecting not to happen by wearing that? Oh why didn't I go to bed sooner!? Stupid, stupid, stupid-

"Oi, why do you look so constipated?" You froze at that voice, feeling eyes on you of the one you just accused of heinous actions.

_I shouldn't be so worried, there still has yet to be confirmed that anything did happen._

Still, his inquiry made you grimace. "What is that supposed to mean?" You frowned, and he flicked your forehead at which drew your head back. He was so close he touched his own nose with the hand that was used to abuse the space between your eyebrows. His other arm still fastened you to him as you noticed after your body shifted to scoot away.

Levi noticed you really were upset and genuinely inquired, "Is there something worrying you?"

At this your hands shook, he arched a brow as you worried at your lip and looked away from his still drowsy orbs. Maintaining the courage and gall to ask, you did as swiftly as you could, "Didweengageinintercourselastnight?" He paused, his grip didn't slack however.

You feared he would make you repeat yourself, abhorred the thought but he only was processing it as it would seem, "No, you didn't seem too comfortable in those strings so I helped you out of them. Nothing happened"

The relief settling on your face was very poorly hidden and Levi noticed it, he had to admit that he felt a little insulted that you'd be so adamant but understood, you were raised in a very religious household, that entailed you possessed very modest values. He was not one for religion but if it made you happy, he'd tolerate in the mornings the lack of pleasantries you skipped for the sake of praying intently.

Today was not one of those mornings, you were laying in bed with him, wearing only his nightshirt. He'd be damned if he wasted this opportunity chance had given him to seduce you study's attempt was a failure, he would try again to see if your prudeness was the problem or if it really was just him as he was beginning to suspect.

Before he could properly formulate a strategy however, you were already slipping out of his hold. You grinned in false cheeriness, "I need to see to it that Eren and Jean carried out the favor I asked of them." You yelped as his arms seized your mid section just as you were halfway through with crawling off the bed.

_Don't touch me_

You wished to be able to spit that to his face but if you were to be spending an extensive time by his side, you'd rather you two be on 'good' or acceptable, tolerant terms, at the very least on the outside. "Stay" he stated, drawing you closer as you refrained from squirming.

"We have things to attend to, staying in bed while everyone else is hard at work is unfair and rude, dearest husband" you said this with a gentle pat at his cheek.

He groaned and you rolled your eyes while he couldn't see you, "Those shitty brats slack off all the time. Just stay for a few more minutes." He had no intention for staying only a 'few minutes'.

He settled his head on your bosom, hugging your torso tightly as you grimaced before you sighed, "Pleasing you is what I'm here for" you mumbled dejectedly, too afraid he'd take it sourly if you made another excuse.

Your upper limbs were awkwardly existing in the air, wondering where to place them. He seemed to have read your mind for he mentioned, "You can touch you know, but only you"

_And yet that very 'privilege' is shared with Collette_

One heavy exhale later and you were stroking his head with a deep frown. You wished these kinds of interactions were avoidable, however he'd infringed enough scenarios on you of the likes that proposed the thought that these things would only become more common. "Of course" you uttered softly.

You were taken aback by his next words;

"Are you happy?"

.

.

.

The answer came to you without much contemplation, as you spoke, his breath hitched "I cannot say for certain I am." He was pulling away instantly but you placed a hand gingerly upon his upper arm, "I've left my family behind, my childhood, friends, home, places special to me, my maidenhood... The things that have been abandoned by me are irreplaceable, but..." You bit your lips and forced the words out, "But what I've found is more beautiful than anything I've ever known"

You laid one of his hands over your heart, the other you brought to your own cheek as you smiled wistfully. He leaned in, taking your lips softly, allowing his and yours to press against one another in peace. You gazed up at him through your eye lids and could feel the tickle of his lips glide over your flesh until they settled on your ear.

It was a quiet whisper, but it was plenty enough to shake you through your very core, "Then, tell me... why don't I believe you?" He released any part of you that he was gripping as you jolted up and stumbled out of the bed. You were a shocked sight to behold, chest slightly heaving with eyes bulging out of your skull.

You ran a number of ways through your mind on how to turn the tables but it seemed he could see through your transparent claims. At last you said, "I am appalled that you'd take my vows of love so lightly, if I wasn't upset prior, I certainly am now"

No more was uttered; you feared that that scrutinizing glare surely would tear down your lies if you stared too long. Instead you locked yourself in the bathroom without a spared glance. You ran the bath, scrubbing your skin raw until it was glowing red, until it was cleansed of Levi's essence.

Your wondering led you to multiple conclusions:

Your father's life was on the line-him finding out about the means which Levi used would be too much on his jaded heart, in addition, in this place, no one would be on your side, you were alone and you didn't know if you had the courage to stand up to him alone. Many things told you now was not a convenient time to have Levi as an enemy, a small voice echoed that there would never be a good time for that. The water went cold after a long while of pondering what to do next. He was certainly not waiting for you outside so you stepped out after patting yourself dry.

Admist lacing your corset, the door to the bedroom was pounded on and you questioned who it was. "Collette" came the shout and you squeezed your eyes shut, lips twisting in annoyance.

"Come in" you wearily allowed, the door opening and shutting promptly.

The woman in question with that ever rude attitude curtly asked, "Do you have time?" You narrowed your brows, partly because it was an incredibly peculiar question for her to ask you. The other part of you was intrigued.

"You have until I'm finished getting ready" was all you offered, hoping she'd go and bother some other poor, unfortunate soul.

"Alright, I'll be quick." You saw her eyes glint dangerously and tried to seem casual when walking to Levi's bedside where he kept a gun in a small gap between the headboard and mattress.

_Just for safety you remined yourself._

"I have a proposition" at this you raised a sharp brow, turning away from the buckle on your heels. "I've a few things I'd like to say and ask beforehand though"

"Go on..." you uttered, only half paying attention to what your hands were doing.

"I noticed Levi-"

"Your Master?" You interjected, face annoyed. It irked you that she so freely disregarded this particular direct order.

_It's not jealousy, I just find it vexing how classless she is_

"Right" she said but made no effort to correct herself. "He seemed quite upset when I saw him a few minutes ago after leaving this room"

You hummed, "Really? Why do you think that is?" There was no attempt to place distance from your current spot on the bed, you lingered even as you fixed your hair. She was volatile as she was unpredictable, it was far better to be safe than sorry. You had no doubt she'd try something to threaten you.

"I thought he was unsatisfied with you" she said and you allowed it.

"Enlighten me further" the tone utilized was sharp, she needed to know she was treading on thin ice.

"With only your body and looks to offer, it seemed that those weren't even enough to keep him happy with you" at this your fingers itched with raging desire to land on her bright, insufferable red face.

_Lord, give me the strength to persevere in being a child of your holy divinity_

"If hope to receive a rise from me was ridden on that ill statement, you can call it wasted." Straightening your posture, you refused to face her. You would not grant her the opportunity to curse you with that pathetic smug smirk of hers. "If that was all you'd like to say, please run along and do away with your responsibilities."

"But that's not all I was here for" she said and you internally groaned. "I've noticed how you look at him"

"As I've noticed how you look at him" you rebutted, side glancing and finding her staring at a painting of your wedding day. She picked it up and regarded it, you hoped she'd break it, that way you'd have one less reminder of what you were to your Lord.

"That's besides the point" she excused and you tapped your shoe.

"Then get to it, I've a lot to learn and your schemes and pettiness are unfortunately not included within that curriculum." You jested, eyes flickering to hers until she looked away.

"I will say this quickly, you don't love him." She stated and you had to give it to her that she was quite observant, you sustained a smitten image even in her presence. But she wasn't entirely wrong, at least you didn't know that yet.

"You do," you retorted, "such a shame someone else holds his heart" you pouted sadly, mocking her.

She did not take the bait and you frowned. Where had all her fire gone to?

_No... it's still in there, not stoked however_

"That can be changed" you went silent, not from threat but from your curiosity aroused at what she was seconds from saying. "I can help you escape, run far away from here, all you need to do is-"

"Now why would I be so stupid?" You laughed, nearly cackled. "It's a brazen assumption to make in a mere matter of a week from observation. I could go into his study this very instant and tell him all this"

Her mouth opened and a silent statement seemed on the verge of spilling out, except she spat an exclamation that left your ears wailing, "You wouldn't!" It seemed you'd stoked it and might've given her an unexpected response... You twitched closer to the gun just in case.

"You aren't too bright are you?" You mumbled. You'd never take her as an ally, she was too selfish, the loyalty to her proposition was finite, most of all, she was fickle. You'd never trust her, it was the same as welcoming a thief to your home. "You claim I hate him-"

"The looks of disgust you've given him, you refuse his affections-" she explained, you laughed.

"My dear how can you be so sure it's disgust?" You asked, forehead creasing. You willed your tight lips to speak your next words with certainty, "We share a bed, just last night-"

"But the marriage was arranged, you're only a spoiled brat-" it ticked you off that she was speaking with such rude words in regards to you. Did you really act like a spoilt brat? You didn't feel as though you did. Still, you humored her ill claim.

"I may be, but I am also his woman. That is a title you will never have." Fisted knuckles went white and you became wary of her very aggressive form. Shaking shoulders, redder face than that of the usual, teeth terribly grit you feared for them. You decided to finally make her aware that you did not desire her presence, "Listen closely Collette, I will not tell Levi about our little run in, nor of all the other troubles you've caused me... for now. I am patient, and I will continue to be so, but if it's one thing you need to understand, is that so long as I am here, you will not have him. He is mi-"

"He was dirt poor!" She yelled, fists lancing at the air behind her, she screamed at you with monstrous bulging eyes, "How does it feel hmm!? To have laid with a peasant!? He was just like me until a few years ago when that blasted old man died and gave him all his inheritance!" You certainly were shocked into silence with this unexpected revelation as she proceeded with a mad key, laughing in between her shouted phrases, "Yes! How does it feel to have begged a bastard for marriage, you're so posh and all, you must feel disgusted. Disgusted to have lain with him! Or maybe you knew already and that's why you look at him like that! You can't stand it can you? That you married a man who once licked dust just to have something in his stomach!"

Her screaming was tuned out, you'd had enough by the time she was deeply and pitifully heaving. "That matters not to me" you quietly said, head tilted down. This newfound information was certainly... strange. You always knew Levi was too empathetic as far as personality went, you supposed that experiencing being nothing must've been the reason why.

_Born into dirt... really does hurt doesn't it?_

"W-what?" She mumbled, "But doesn't it disgust you? That he's lied about who he is?" Feiging indifference, you shrugged a shoulder.

Afterwards, a chuckle ensued, "He didn't lie, he just didn't mention it" you uttered.

Just like that other thing... A pang of pain attacked your heart. You clutched your chest, slumping your body. A sense of sympathy creeped up before you promptly squandered it, Don't feel sorry for him, remember what he's done

"Y-you-" she stuttered. You raised a hand, turning sharply with the coldest gaze you could muster. Breathing out without a hitch;

"Get out." Your dainty finger pointed straight to the door, she stayed put in spite of your icy tone. "Preserve that last shred of dignity you've left and don't give me a reason to expose your wretched misdoings to your Master. Do us both a favor and remove yourself from my sight!"

After moment's stand off with a glare blazing at you as you concealed your inner frustration with emptiness, she twitched. It was a grand relief that she huffed and marched out in indignation, but not without showing you that ever turbulent fire in those beady little eyes of hers. You disregarded her existence as you breathed in and out. You fell back on the neatly made mattress, fingers massaging your temple as you ran the rowdy events through your mind again.

The thoughts circulated around your Lord's brief early life. "So you were once dirt poor... too" you mumbled, "That should certainly make for an interesting conversation..."

A thought bled into your wondering thoughts and you shook from wanting to deny it alone. It was overtaking you, it was the thought that you'd never considered, that is; why'd he done it, why'd he deliberately go out of his way to hurt you and wound you so horribly?

_Could there be a justified reason as to why he did it? Would his reason be enough to lull me into his arms again?_

You shivered at the thought of it, of what if his reason alone proved he wasn't a complete scumbag. It was becoming an increasing difficult feat to believe no amount of nobility and pure intentions in such a selfish act could ever justify it.

Because as much as you hated to admit it, Levi didn't seem to be the type who would do such self centered actions, you hated that just now you acknowledged this. That notion seemed even further backed by the fact that he was once in the lowest level of the hierarchy. Eyes snapping to the window, you noticed the sky was blue with white cotton tuffs rolling across the wide canvas. It was then that you thought;

_I need a distraction_

With the little incident this morning, you'd be given some much yearned space. It was a mystery if he was the type to first approach or not after an unpleasant interaction. You assumed that given by his crass and cold exterior, that he'd be the latter. It worked out fine, utterly fine. You would not engage in any of anythings with him, he'd just have to come to you and surely he would take his sweet time doing that because 'pride'. He could take the next 50 years to speak to you about this morning and even then, you wouldn't mind.

The minimalist of conversation was what you were aiming for anyways. You were going to check if Eren and Jean had finished the task you'd asked them to complete since the prior day, then do your daily rounds to assure yourself that everyone was doing their work, and do some other menial task.

You rose with your head held high, shoulders back and stomach tucked and without further qualms raised in the vicinity of your rampaging mind, glided gracefully out of the room. Still, even as you ran a list of all sorts of distracting activities, something told you you hadn't heard the last of Collette and her scheming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue how long I want to make this. Probably less that 20 chapters I hope?? But yk, whatever happens happens


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING--->> Nothing graphic occurs but it can be triggering. Be mindful of the tags please
> 
> Side comment: I think Reader's letting her guard down and confusing herself ://

You could hear a distinctive argument of bombarding shouts from two familiar voices. They came from behind the tall hedge and you knew instantly that the two boys had had another disagreement which could only mean that they'd been here perhaps all morning.

You were astounded by their capacity to bicker for hours on end. At last, you rounded the thorn bush and smacked shut your fan to gain their attention. The crisp sound alerted them, bodies instantly turning to you to bow but they'd still shoot angry glances at one another.

Your lip twisted slightly, small grimace in place, "If I may, I'd like to know why you bicker... again... for the third day in a row...?" It was like that mere question was a cue for their armada of shouts to bulldoze the calm day. First they began explaining, their raised voices clashing and sounding like nails on the blackboards back at the church's school shack. Next, it seemed that they both disagreed with their individual stories, you were amazed as you hardly understood a word, and you finally regretted asking when it seemed violence was about to ensue. "Wait!" You raised your own voice, "Nevermind all of that, have you two collected the items I asked for?"

You were disheartened as their faces dropped in realization, both paling at least five times lighter than their regular skin tone; they mimicked the pompous, vain powdered faces of France. "We are so sorry! We had been working, we swear!" Eren exclaimed and you were drawn away from him by Jean's own continuation.

"Yes! We were working so hard, we got distracted and forgot! We'll run your errand right away!" They said this and you didn't have a time to object as they absconded from your sight. You supposed you wouldn't be receiving your package of sweets anytime soon. It was truly a tragedy that you could not find one single sugared treat in this forsaken, large estate so you entrusted Jean and Eren with your little secret and had been asking them to run to town to get you your desired treats.

You needed it, desperately. After this eventful morning, you needed sugar to run on. The sun was out still shining brightly and you pulled your hat lower to block some of the brightness. As you roamed the gardens, the sight and scent of the blooming tulips and gardenias filled you with their essence. You seated yourself on one of the many benches, bright white seeming to glow under the glare of the sun.

You sat peacefully, admiring the array of exotic and colorful pallet of various plants. If you had to choose a place you didn't absolutely abhor, it was likely this ethereal eden. Scanning the extensive area, you settled your eyes on the manor and exhaled softly. You concluded that you'd always be astonished and breathless from the beautiful and refined architecture.

Admiring it's tall walls, clean exterior, detailed engravings and imprints, you could not help but to study everything closely. Your eyes raked through every wedge, every window and its curtains, every carving and concentrated detail, until you were met with cold, stoic eyes staring straight at you through the window of his study.

You remained as passive, nodding in acknowledgement and refraining from a reaction too noticeably startled. Had he just been watching you? Had he seen your subtle yet ungraceful trip up on the lifted pavement during your stroll? You raised your fan and lowered your face behind it, eyes darting elsewhere as your body shifted to face opposite.

You had relatively good self control and did not feel too tempted to look back and note if he was still intently observing you. After a while of staking it out, you supposed it'd been a good half an hour, it occurred to you that it'd be an appropriate time to look now.

It was a delight to see the maroon, damask curtains were drawn and left no crevice to peak into his study, however you wondered how long he'd just sat there and stared. That intense look in his eye reminded you of earlier and you involuntarily shivered. Nevertheless, the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around you made you subconsciously grip your own upper arms and squeeze gently.

You couldn't deny it was pleasant to be held in such a protective, warm embrace, but the fact that it'd been Levi still bothered you enough to be able to disregard your feelings of the pleasantrie. The heat was becoming a bit too bothersome and you finally decided to head back in before a sunburn cursed you into a period of pain.

As you stood, you took off towards the manner to check on the meal and perhaps help with the stock counting. The day was already looking promising if you were to spend some time with Petra and Olou, but nevertheless busy. It would seem life would pave you a different path because around the rose hedge, you jolted out of your skin upon the sight of the same woman who had been the cause of your distress as of late.

You refined your features and posture, smoothing down the wrinkles in your gown, "Collette, is there anything you need?" You would be civilized this time, you just wanted to go and spend time with tolerable people.

"Yes!" She smiled, but wickedness reigned no matter how hard she tried to mask it. "I spoke with Levi, he says he'd like you to check out an old hut by the river. He plans on tearing it down if nothing good can come from it. Locals are complaining about wood chips in their water too"

Your eyebrows narrowed, you were about to retort similarly as earlier with the inquiry that if she actually believed you to be such an unsuspecting fool. You decided to test the lengths she'd reach, "I think I'll go discuss this with him first..." The request was odd if not totally uncharacteristic of your Lord. You had half the mind to go and blame it on her if something turned out wrong but you also feared for that wrong so much that you felt you wouldn't be here to point fingers.

"That's unnecessary! I spoke with him, he'll meet you there, or maybe you will. I haven't seen him since earlier so he's probably there already." You further wringed your features, there was just no way Levi, the most suffocating and overbearing husband who barely let you to the stables would ask through a servant, that you cross the forest to meet him in what likely was a secluded area.

"I don't think so, I'll go look for him and ask, if I find him, we'll just go together" you explained and made a move to get past her. She reached for your arm and you instantly pulled away.

At this she smiled even more broadly, exposing crooked teeth that at the very least, looked hygienic, "You won't find him, ask anyone and they'll tell you he's out." You stepped further away and inched closer to the door, she told you one last thing, "Here's a map, the river you can find to the west. It should be quite simple to find the hut, it's just beyond this point here and here" she explained as she had an unfolded map that she was pointing and dragging her rough finger through.

And simply like that, she was gone in the span of a second as you processed her words, looking at the red ink that drew the way over the parchment. Folding the thick sheet into the concealed pocket of your skirt, the door was promptly opened and shut as you seeked Armin.

At this hour, you were certain he was at the library and he'd stay there for another more. Primitively, you headed to Levi's office, which you now knew how to find. You recalled midway that you'd brought no tea but didn't feel like turning back, besides, what if he really wasn't present as Colette claimed.

And as you knocked on the door, you sighed when no response was given. You pushed your weight on the door, squeezing in through the gap made and coming across no one. Stalking towards his desk, his absence gave you the opportunity you'd been waiting for. However, the desk's contents were nothing short of lackadistical, consisting of only a small stack of papers, envelopes on a tray, and an ink bottle with a pen situated not too far from the documents.

You sat yourself on his seat and scanned the drab contents of the papers. Next you looked under the tray of mail but no glimmer of silver shone in the sunlit room. You did however, take the pile of envelopes and read the senders;

Erwin Smith

Erwin Smith

Erwin Smith

Hange Zoe

Hange Zoe

Hange Zoe

Hange Zoe

Hange Zoe

Hange Zoe

You arched a brow as a few more of the envelopes were marked by 'Hange Zoe.' You paused, intrigued at the particularly important name.

Darius Zackly

From your understanding, such a person working as the overseerer of all military legions never sent out letters unless a vital yet dangerous matter was at hand. You knew Levi was involved with the military, his rank seconding Erwin Smith, so you were curious as to what he was being contacted for.

A moment's pondering reminded you that you were a Lady, not to worry herself over and cause her face to get wrinkles from concernment. Dropping the letters in the order and position you found them in, you did one more thorough search of his working area and did not find the key as you were expecting. So you went in search for Armin to confirm that what Colette had said was true.

~°~

"Good afternoon Armin" you greeted, startling the boy who appeared to be hard at work before you interrupted. He'd jolted so violently you stepped back to avoid the flailing duster. "My, did I startle you?" you squeaked out.

His embarrassment glowed on his cheeks as he swiftly shook his head, "No! Not so much at least! But it's nothing serious!"

"Of course, still" you smiled sympathetically, "my apologies."

He smiled back and dropped his duster on a nearby table, "Apology accepted, how can I serve you madam?"

You looked about, still unsure if you wanted to waste time on what could be a potential wild goose chase. It was worth a shot as you finally decided, "I was wondering if you knew where my husband currently is at?"

He shook his head softly, "No ma'am, but I know he's been out since noon, running an errand I believe"

"Oh" you mumbled. Shaking your head you looked into his eyes, "Armin, do you know about the hut in the woods that's been causing problems?"

He thought for a second as his face lit up in recognition, "Yes! It's recently been brought to the Master's attention by the communties on his land that the river's water is being contaminated by decaying wood. They have a reason to believe it's that rundown hut detoriating by the river's edge."

"And you think my Lord has gone there to remove the nuisance?" You inquired as your drummed your fingers on the curve of your ample gown.

Armin shrugged with a hesitant nod, "I would think so. He left on his horse so perhaps yes, that's where he is." He explained and you nodded to his every syllable.

"One more thing Armin" you said as you halted your rotating body.

"Go ahead M'lady" he bowed his head and waited.

You puckered your lips and squirmed in place a little, "Do you have any reason to believe he's not there?"

Armin seemed a bit perplexed by the oddity of your ambiguous inquiry, at last he answered, "Umm, no, Master Levi always prioritizes the working class's issues but he's unpredictable so who knows if he could be elsewhere?"

You hummed and patted his shoulder in gratitude, "Alright, I trust your judgement. If anyone asks where I am, you know where to point them towards"

As you were leaving, he stopped you with a shout, "Pardon me but do you plan on heading there alone?"

You shrugged, "Why not? You'll know where to find my cadaver if anything does happen so don't worry too much" you giggled.

He looked horrified, "Forgive my forwardness but your sense of humor is quite morbid"

"Only sometimes" you chirped, adding on, "I'll find myself an escort don't you worry Armin!" You heard his understanding reply and took off to the woods. The map's markings were that of a path through the forestry. It was clean and relaxing as nature surrounded you. You didn't even mind the large spiderwebs and decided to enjoy nature at play. You felt a little guilt from telling Armin that fib but made no effort to return.

The sun was setting as you wound your way over shrubbery and stumbled to an open area after wrestling through a wall of bushes. In the slowly dwindling light, you could see that X marked a spot by the river and as you looked around, you found the hut a few steps away.

It was truly a tragic sight to behold. It's straw roof sunk into the four crumbling walls, a window so narrow from the wall that seemed to be melting, holes speckling the wood. How pitiful indeed.

You paused and looked around once more, seeing no horses or people or Levi. Had he gone in? Did he have anyone else with him? Did he already leave? You wondered and yet still approached the safety hazard. There was a door clinging for dear life and looking like it'd seen much kinder days. You pushed open the plank of wet, moldy wood and stared at your gloved hand in disgust as dirt seeped into the white fabric's creases.

You felt a chill down your spine as you finally recieved a good glimpse of what the inside held.

Lit candles, a bottle of champagne and two glass cups, and a rather scratchy pile of blankets and pillows at the corner of the room that made you itch uncomfortably merely from the sight alone. You decided you wouldn't ask if any one was present, it might've seemed empty but you'd rather not test your luck. Swiveling on your heel, you nearly scuttled out of there.

Fingers stretched for the door, your movement increased as the shadows from your peripheral vision shifted. Your breath hitched as a rough, large hand clamped down on your waist and the other lanced right by your neck, slamming the door closed.

The odor of this person told you this was not Levi.

In the tense, quiet seconds, you could only hear the scrambled screaming of your thoughts that collided against one another and hurled you deeper into confusion and fear. The hand still flat on the wood'a surface brought its mud caked digits with yellow, jagged nails to your face. You felt those grimy, textured fingers scratch your face as they reached down to your neck and pulled your hair out of the way.

The instant you felt the intolerable heat of a putrid smelling mouth, your body jerked away with the sole purpose to place between yourself and this individual as much possible distance. You regret turning around to face him as his person was something you'd derive from your most blood curdling nightmares.

Thin, bleeding lips, missing teeth and whatever remained appeared either rotten or so battered it was useless. His mutilated visage... this man looked as though he'd been dragged through mud, fallen in a pit of pins and needles, been dragged through a field of jagged slates and plunged into the excrement of cattle. You gagged at the mere sight, and regained the uneasy feeling of when you were being watched.

Though your gut told you to fight, scream, tear his eyes out, you could not. In the wake of danger, you attempted to preserve a formal front, if life would be so kind, you could negotiate yourself to safety. "Have I intruded in your... abode? If so, I am terribly sorry"

You fiddled a hand into your pocket, trying to find anything of use. You carried none much to your dismay as the hobbled man inched closer to you. Your back pressed firmly to the mouldy wall and you whimpered only barely audibly as a hand pierced the air and took your neck. He dragged you so carelessly you felt like a cleaning rag as he slammed you flat onto the table. Despite his appearance, he seemed to hone enough strength to break your bones. You struggled as he squeezed the air out of you, legs kicking wildly but ultimately weighed down by all your skirts and undergarments.

Every tremble in your body you could feel, his disgusting hands bunching up your gown and rolling it up as you trembled out, utterly powerless, "W-what are you doing?"

You shuddered in overwhelming terror as he held cold metal to the length of your neck, "I don't care if you scream, you may from fear, " he cackled manically as he finished his phrase, "or from pleasure"

He gripped your struggling legs and seemed unfazed by your arms shoving his upper body away. Your unrelenting attempts were in vain, he took hold of your hair and brought your face so close to his you could see every fine hair. His eyes were maddened and posture indicated a high strung profile as he sneered this, "Your that little runt's woman aren't you?"

You nodded as best you could, neck aching at the position it was twisted in, he went on, "Do you know what he's done to me? Do you know what I'm going to do to him?" You shook your head frantically, physically unable to speak and searching desperately for anything of use. "Tell me, has he made you his?" You only shook your head once, his wheezing laugh indicated you'd just given him delightful news. "I see, then I'll be the one to taint you!"

"No!" You wailed, fists pounding into his form as you screamed, "You scoundrel! Your head will roll from such unholy intentions!" He only dove straight to the junction of your neck and shoulder, tearing away the fabric and revealing your skin. He pulled you towards him by your burning legs as you protested and struggled vainly.

All your limbs strained to keep pushing, you did not want to give up even as he had you pinned to the scratchy blankets. Your body was about to collapse when your foot touched something solid on the side of his hip. You knew alone from the rigid shape that this was a firearm. Momentarily going limp so as to regain some strength into your body, you squeezed your eyes shut to not see as he tore away at your front buttons.

As you heaved a final breath, you concentrated all your strength into your next move. You pushed up, throwing the scumbag onto his back as you straddled his legs and reached for his weapon. Your nimble fingers successfully gripped the item and tore it from its latch.

Ponting the weapon to his head, you spoke lowly, "No sudden movements or I'll be your personal executioner." You remained unfazed even as he guffawed jovially, aware that he wanted to throw you off for a chance to turn the tables.

"You won't do it," he said, forehead approaching the barrel as you watched him closely, "I know you're too scared to, too pure to commit such a sin." He laughed even louder that your ears began to ache, he kept going until the crown of his head was pressed against the opening.

You narrowed your eyes and smiled wickedly, "You're right, but Levi won't have any problem with it" and at this, you aimed the gun to the ceiling. The loud bang of the pulled trigger almost instantly ensued a rumble of hooves outside. You revieced a powerful punch that left ringing in your ears and surroundings skewed to blurred edges and badly blended colors.

Your attacker resembled the figure from the orchard as he quickly decamped and left you with the dull ache of his assault. You felt disoriented, ears trying to make out the muffled shouts that came from the outside.

Your head felt like cotton filled it to the brim and dizziness struck you when a pair of warm, taut arms lifted your upper body. In the waning light, a blurry face approached yours until your squinted eyes could make out the familiar raven locks and steel blue hues.

You dropped the gun with a clatter and didn't realize how cold you actually felt until something warmer and smelling of Levi's scent embraced you. He was talking, surely asking about your condition but all you could muster to say was, "Take me away"

Unwilling to be here anymore and wanting to avoid thinking about what would have happened if Levi and his men hadn't been searching for you, the mumble of giur weak voice barely reached his ear, "Please...". Your body vibrated as he hooked an arm under your knees and the other around your shoulder.

Every part of you now screamed for you to let go of all the tension and rigidity, "Fall into me, you're safe now." It was the gentle whisper of Levi's in your ear which encouraged to give into his generous offer to be your pillar of support. Leaning your head onto his shoulder, you hid in the crook of his neck.

When someone else's hands tried to grab you, likely so that Levi could mount his horse, you involuntarily flinched violently and squeezed his arm in a vice grip. You didn't need to look to know your knuckles were white. Realizing this, you released him and croaked, "Sorry"

He granted you with silence, this reaction peculiarly did not seem unconventional. It became quickly the opposing case when in his arms, you were anomalously jostled, it was a swift realization that he'd mounted his horse, somehow, with you cupped in his arms.

The fuzzy state of mind you slowly were emerging from did not completely suspend your ability to perceive sound and as Levi shouted an order, "Search the forest, shoot that fucker down if you so much as catch a glimpse of him!" You shivered, reminded of that repulsive villain.

The wisp of your shuddering breath appeared to have functioned as a cue to set his horse in motion. Having never ridden a horse prior to now, you found it quite uncomfortable as the reverberating thuds of its hooves stomping the ground harassed the very little ease you retained.

Despite the summer gracing heat even at the late hours of the day, you did not feel warm as you were carried to the estate, even when you bathed in scalding mixture of aromas and water, or even when Levi's cotton nightshirt was around your body.

You looked at yourself in the fogged bathroom mirror, desolation ever present in your exhausted features. The hand lifted to eye level you quickly discarded back to your side after finding it trembling uncontrollably as it'd been earlier.

In your short, 21 years of life, the control you'd always had over your body, which allowed you to remain a prim and proper lady, had seemed to dissipate into the vaporized room. So you hid as much as you could behind your back, knob shamefully clattering in your anxious grip as you quickly opened it and emptied your presence into the bedroom.

He was there, sitting on the sofa looking indifferent and yet looking like he was holding back. Gaze glued to the ground as you made your shortlived way to the bed, you felt the fleeting, cynical glances he would send your way. Those documents in his hands he 'read' were fooling you not, however you didn't speak even when the creak of the sinking mattress indicated you'd crawled into bed.

If you weren't in such a restless state, you'd likely have missed the rather sizable, slim box occupying the edge of the bed. You took it, familiar silk crimson ribbon spotted first. Quietly, you bit out, "What's this?"

"Chocolate." He only stated, you didn't know if he looked at you or not, your gawk focused only at the mentioned item. "For you..." he murmured and you darted your gaze up, seeing his eyes drifting to the side.

"Why?" You asked, genuinely confused on how he'd known and why'd he'd gotten you this. Unless these actually were the chocolates Jean and Eren had returned with and decided to drop off with your Lord. You shook your head softly, "Well..  firstly, how did you find out?"

He snorted, at least that's what you think he did, "You're not very good at concealing things." You felt he meant not only your poor skills with secret stashing, but something else. "The vanity makes a better hiding place"

You smirked a little, "I see..." Pulling the bow apart, you removed the lid and would be fooling yourself if you didn't smile from the small but powerful effect chocolates had on you. You popped one in your mouth, not minding your manners, only the crumbs since you were aware of his unearthly obsession related to everything immaculately clean. "You've yet to answer my question, why?"

The long, very extensive quiet urged you to present him with your sharp gaze again. Once again he avoided it, giving the floor all of his attention as he leaned over his knees propping his elbows. You were startled that he spoke at all, "I..." he groaned, it seemed he was fighting his own will when he forced his eyes to yours, "I wanted to... 'ammend' my earlier words," you still felt like it'd be made too easy for him, thinking he could buy you gifts in exchange for your forgiveness. Again you were startled, the reason now because he appeared to have read your mind, "Don't misunderstand, the chocolates are just a gesture and...I, I apologize, I shouldn't have doubted you"

You nodded silently, more awkward than anything since you really didn't mind if he doubted your feelings. After all, your unprecedented outburst had been but a farce to make him believe you felt love for him. After a pregnant pause, and a few occasional chewing sounds from the more tougher treats, you bit into a particular favorite and commented, "Scrumptious"

"Stop doing that" he ordered, stunning you to silence and fixing you into stillness.

You swallowed whatever chewed contents lingered in your mouth and arched a brow, "Stop what?" You knew alone from his uneasy composure what his intentions were. You did not want to discuss the ordeal, you'd like to forget it as the mere grazing thought of it made your eyes brim with tears.

"Stop acting like everything is fine" he sneered and you straightened up, getting on the defensive. "...like nothing happened" he spit out and you puckered your lips in a frown.

"Nothing did happen..." you uttered apathetically, hoping that he'd drop the subject until you could manage to think about that man's cruel and disgusting intentions without feeling like an enormous lump clogged your throat. It was a mistake to look away as he lunged at you, not touching you but close enough that he might as well do so. His presence demanded your acknowledgment and you grimaced under his heavy glare.

"I see it, the fear in your eyes from earlier is still there. If you need to cry, cry, if you need to hit something, hit it, do whatever you need to but don't look so damn emotionless" his forehead touched yours as he held your eyes with his, it was so tension infused you feared it'd be not too long before you broke. "At the very least, don't pretend you're fine about _THIS_!"

You jumped at his raised voice, attempting your damndest to hold your quickly crumbling composure together. He was mercilessly purloining it with every second that he spent staring you down. An eternity passed as your quivering sigh slipped from your lips and you did what you and him least expected.

Your arms supporting you had in an instant wrapped around his neck and clasped it tightly. The sob released from you was loud and filled with all your mixed emotions. He didn't move an inch, allowing you to weep into his broad shoulder and waiting if you'd let him touch you.

It was quiet, meant only for him to hear, the breathless, pleading request that confused you was sent into his ear, "Hold me." Those strong, protective arms complied in gently taking you into them, dragging you closer to him as your bodies sunk into the bed. He spoke not a single word, not a single phrase of shallow claims that all would be fine. He knew all would not be fine, that nothing had been fine since a while back. Your arms fastened around his neck tighter, soaked eyelashes brushing his collarbone as you squeezed shut your lids. Being held like this, being held by these strong and powerful arms, made you feel safe, even if it was Levi.

No matter that of what you felt when willingly trapped in his arms, you still pushed yourself to the idea that 'this' meant absolutely nothing.

_Then why if this means nothing as my mind stubbornly claims, does my heart palpitate with such galvanizing fury?_

_Levi Ackerman, dastardly bastard, why aren't your selfish actions enough to keep my hatred alive and burning for you?_

"You weren't wrong in not believing me" you mumbled, unaware that in your nearly unconscious state your thoughts had bled into audible words.

Levi who had remained awake and would stay as so likely for the rest of the night, sighed deeply and pressed a kiss to your temple, "I know, but in regards to this matter, you can keep pretending, I will too. Until you're ready to tell me what's wrong, until then only..."

 


	10. Chapter 10

It'd been an untracked amount of time after the incident in the hut, you'd refused to tell Levi how'd you gotten there in the initial place. Naturally, he was a raging ball of hellfire ever since and wouldn't talk to you, you shrugged and cried an 'oh woe', not willingly seeing him since then.

And since then, you'd spent your days doing nothing short of menial housewife tasks. Colette had, suspiciously if you had to admit, stayed out of your way but it was not in you to deny how very refreshing the lack of sightings of her insufferable face was.

However, life had decided it'd gone too easy for you and chose to send another devil your way. Just days ago, a letter from the woman, who's strict lessons on class had been implemented into you since the age of five, had arrived and you'd bristled at the contents of it. You couldn't stop thinking about it, feeling absolutely disgusted with her gall.

You recalled the events of the day of-

_"I see a letter from my mother has arrived" you told Levi, fingers interlaced over the surface of his desk. He'd walked in just as you finished reading whatever she had to say, and what she said, was quite pitiful._

_He narrowed his eyes, still upset at your refusal to out the 'asshole' as he so kindly dubbed the culprit that had given you false information, "What are you doing in my study?"_

_You leaned your head to your shoulder, innocently glancing away, "I came to drop off your tea, but it appeared you were absent for a short while and I decided to finish the stock counts" you excused, tapping the documents you'd been filling out seconds ago before you spotted your maiden name on the back of an envelope. "Then I found this," you held up the item in question, "why didn't you tell me my mother had written, nonetheless to ask for money?"_

_He stayed quiet for a moment, standing with his overbearing presence right in front of you. Your glare was unrelenting even as he approached you with that predatory gaze. Leaning over, face mere inches from yours, he took your wrist and snatched the letter out of your unexpectedly loose grip, "Because I knew you'd get mad"_

_You frowned deeply, "Either way, word from my family is important, no matter what it may be." Your eyebrows furrowed as he rounded the desk, eyes glued to you. He walked straight up to you and took a single digit, shoving it between your eyebrows._

_"This," he wiggled his nail through the creases in your skin, "will give you wrinkles." You huffed and pulled away, annoyed you'd worked yourself up for no reason. Here he was looking like he'd assault you with his powerful stride and threatening glare, and then give you advice on how to preserve your youthful appearance._

_"Abide to your own words, your forehead's already filled to a brim with wrinkles" you quipped, toying with your loose sleeve. You learned not to dress so heavily, instead you had became accustomed to simple, yet elegant gowns that didn't expand beyond the length of your shoulders. "How old did you say you were, 35? Looking like a jaded old man already"_

_"I'm 28, and I look much better than you" he mused, leaning back into his chair with a mischievous glint in his orbs._

_You scoffed, deciding to entertain his little game, "As if, you wish you had my skin's flexibility and natural glow." To emphasize this, you tilted your best side towards the sun and grinned conceitedly._

_"And you could only hope to have my fine hair and bone structure" he said this and with such a stoic expression you involuntarily giggled. Within that split second, you realized your friendliness and ceased all flattery, proceeding to clearing your throat._

_"Anyways, you've only received one letter from my family then?" You asked, elbows cupped by the opposing hands of your arms._

_Knowing all too well his expressions, he could no longer hope to swiftly cover his emotions so easily. The fleeting disheartened gaze of his when you cut off the little back and forth had made you squirm if only but a sliver. He answered regardless, "Two actually"_

_You perked up as he exhibited a clean envelope between the clamp of his index and middle digits, "From who?"_

_"Your mother" he said as he glanced at it briefly. You bit your lip and hesitated in saying your next statement._

_"M-may I be the one to open and read it first?" Glancing up anxiously, he shrugged with an indifferent visage and tilted the rectangular pocket for you to take. Striding to it, you gently took it in your hold and muttered, "Thank you." He watched you as you opened it, studying the varying expressions in your face as you, tried as you might have, could not hold back the shame and anger from the words likely that begged him for more money._

_"What does it say?" He piped in after you unceremoniously sent the parchment tumbling to the desk._

_"My Lor-" you swallowed your formal address and corrected yourself, "Levi, may I ask that you no longer send any money to my family. I wouldn't like them to abuse and take advantage of you like that"_

_You found his silence menacing and dumbfoundedly gawked, relieved when he clicked his tongue, "Tch, fine. I won't send anything else"_

_You smiled, you dared even say it was genuine, "Thank you, thank you so much." You set your foot in the direction of the door and gave a small wave, "I'll be excusing myself now"_

_He nodded with a hum, you didn't turn back, only paused shortly to hear him taunt you, "Do not forget that I have bette a better sense for fashion"_

_You bit back a smile and rebuked with a rather forward tone, "You phony, don't take credit for your tailor's hard work." That statement might've been untrue partly because you knew he was the one who gave the requests of his outfits to the gentleman that put together his clothes._

Spraying the vines of the flourishing peas, your face and self froze the moment you realized you'd been smiling like fool and recalling the event as if it'd been a sort of fond memory. Thinking of your mother quickly fixed a deep scowl into your face, mood quickly dampening as you further thought about her.

You didn't hate her, she had been a good mother, loving, caring, nurturing, she was the most involved in raising you unlike other women of her status. Denying her those truths would be like denying that she put in all that blood, sweat and tears to raise you and your brother.

However, you'd also be in denial if you overlooked the fact that she was for such a religious woman, incredibly superficial. And it was that thirst for the material, that had wreaked havoc.

The pad of your finger delicately stroked a young, vibrantly green pod. Its waxy surface made it easy for your gentle fingers to smooth over it. Gardening was such a therapeutic experience, granted it required grit at times but it was nothing worth complaining over. You only remarked on this to clear your mind of cruel thoughts before some unforgivable notion regarding your mother settled its seed in you.

There were plenty of outrageous things that made it easy to hate your mother, you'd rather not poison her image further. For someone so miserable, you sure could bear to wear a smile at the simple sight of blooming plants.

As you headed to the main house, halting you in your tracks was an arriving tall individual of long brown locks fastened high on their head whilst the other gentleman looked prim and proper with his blond hair licked to one side. The former appeared to be some kind of doctor, maybe even a scientist with the equipment dangling from their neck and the impressively sized glasses you considered more bricks than lenses sitting on the crown of their head. The latter you swore you recognized from somewhere, that sharp, clean style without a hair out of place only confirmed that this, was Erwin Smith.

You strolled up to the pair who were conversing amongst themselves until the shorter of the two noticed you. Putting on your best of smiles, you dropped the stem confined in your digits and folded them over your mid section. "My Lord did not tell me we'd be having guests today," you announced, "however, I welcome you." Extending a palm to the entrance, you politely asked, "Please, follow me inside, this heat surely is not any heaven to stand within."

"In that you're right sweetie, it feels like I'm burning in the depths of hell!" The brunette exclaimed and you jolted slightly from their eccentricity, the blond who you were certain was Erwin now that distance wasn't an issue, thanked you with a rather strained smile.

As you walked them in, the same goggle donning individual called out to you, "Oi! Aren't you a bit too pretty and well dressed to be a maid?"

You took no offense given that you hadn't even told them who you were yet. Bowing your head in apology, you looked the genderless individual in the eye, "Lord pardon my manners, I appreciate the flattery and my intention is not to sound conceited but I must admit that there's truth to that statement"

"Is that so?" Erwin asked, you nodded gently and tilted your head even more to reach his eyes.

"Indeed, in actuality I am the Master's-"

"Wife" the man in question interjected admist your explanation. You subtly pressed your lips into one another and performed a roll of your eyeballs in your personal thoughts. Your exterior begged to differ as you grinned as endearingly as you could manage when Levi came to your side to kiss the gold band on your left ring finger. His glare was not missed, he still was upset with the scarce amount of information you'd provided him regarding the night of the ordeal.

The brunette fellow gasped in exaggeration, mouth opening so grandly you would've mistook them for an Opera performer. "Levi! You vile devil!" They exclaimed, accusingly snapping a finger to his stoic features, "You didn't invite us, me," their voice squeaked as they directed a palm towards themselves and Erwin, "your bestfriends, to your wedding?"

It was as confusing as it was amusing to watch your husband scold this funny individual, you were rendered speechless and couldn't deny them a great deal of bravery as they guffawed at the stern tone of Levi's. He was mid rant on proper conduct when you nervously cut in, "Would anyone like any refreshments? Snacks?"

"I'd love some" Erwin grinned at you, you returned the gesture. There was a quiet giggle from your end as he clamped a large hand over the brunette's mouth, "I'm certain Hange would enjoy them too, thank you." You had not once experience such random, unorthodox behavior, and you'd least expect it from adults yet here they were, cluelessly entertaining.

"Of course, a pleasure to meet you both, I'll just add that you may recognize me from the shoreline district" you mention your name and family name.

"Ah! You're the daughter of Merriweather's most successful businessman? I've had the pleasure of meeting him on several occasions" Hange, who you now knew was a woman, clamped her hand on your shoulder.

"That is correct and pardon me but I've never seen you come to my former home" you mentioned, genuinely curious as to how such a ball of energy could bypass you in your own home. You hadn't even noticed Levi had dragged an extensive distance between you an her. Grateful you were, for she didn't smell exactly pleasant.

She waved her hand dismissively, "That's because it was a long time ago. They called it torturing the poor creatures, I called it science! I was so gentle too, who would've thought leaving marine specimens outside of the water would kill them!?" She cackled and you almost saw a morbid glint in her mad eyes. "Kidding, kidding!! Don't worry your pretty head, I'm not so stupid, this!" She tugged at a patch on the side of her coat, "This means I am a certified researcher"

"They hand those out to any idiot" Levi sneered, snapping you out of the dazed cycle of nodding. He called you and you hummed to his beckon, "You can bring the refreshments to the upper terrace"

"Very well my Lord" you looked behind you briefly and watched the three disappear into the hall. Now that you were certain what kind of person Hange was, you could make sense of the and mind you, stupid amount of letters she sent.

When you entered the kitchen, Petra was already preparing snacks. Impressed, you mumbled, "Word travels fast doesn't it?"

Petra beamed at you with that ever kind, easing smile of hers, "I heard guests arrived! I just need to put together the drinks."

You traced the corners of the kitchen and found not one sandy blond in sight, "Where is Olou? I'd like for him to get started on the food in case the guests are staying for lunch"

"He'll be back soon, he went to cut some herbs" she explained as you nodded, brewing the larger than usual kettle of tea.

Keeping a watchful eye on the stove, you puckered your lips, "I don't mean to pry but... Do they come here often?"

Petra shrugged, arranging the finger sandwiches into a circular array on the silver platter. She answered with a tired huff, no doubt her arms had experienced some serious straining, "No, they come every other month but they have been the only people I've ever seen be invited beyond the hall. Their main source of communication is letter sending, a million from each is sent in and out every month."

"Oh, I see..." you murmured. The kettle whistled as you spoke to Petra with your back facing her, "Do you know what they discuss?"

"No ma'am, but they all are involved with the region's troops so I suppose it has to do with that" she informed, you swiveled on your heel just as she'd stepped back to admire her work.

You touched your lip with your hand in disbelief, "You always outdo yourself Petra, you're truly amazing"

You would've preferred to keep in your chuckle but it was simply impossible when her cheeks lit up red and her sputter followed after, "Oh you flatter me, thank you my Lady."

"I don't see why honesty should be a flattery to you, do you not get the recognition deserved as often as you should?" You inquired, cautiously pouring the dark liquid into the more finer china that you found was reserved for special occasions; ultimately meaning it wasn't used too often since special occasions never arose.

You turned your attention from the cups to Petra who shrugged a shoulder, "It's not like that, Olou always compliments me... in his own odd way" she added the last part in a more or less understandable mumble. "It's just that recieving praise from a figure like yourself ma'am is an honor"

Her words lulled a gentle smile from you and you had the urge to 'aw' at her humble reply. Ceasing your actions, you made your way to her and took her hand, "The real honor is to have such virtuous people watching over me." She took your words gracefully, nodding and offering her gratitude as the pair of you chatted on your way to the terrace.

When you pushed the glass door open, it seemed that all movement had stopped and whatever was being spoken about, was disregarded. You found their sudden tense behavior odd if not suspicious but did not mention it, "Excuse me" you said, placing the tray on the round table and dismissing Petra with a reassuring nod that you'd be fine on your own.

"Thank you, these look delicious!" Erwin praised, taking the tea saucer you'd just situated before him. "Sometimes I wish I had a woman to look after me" you paused in your tracks for an instant to glance at his finger. No ring.

_Interesting, a man of such caliber has yet to find a wife?_

_...Perhaps it's exactly that, there is no one at the current moment who can live up to the expectations..._

You flickered out of your reverie as Levi tapped your hand which still was holding the hovering saucer and mounted on it, the tea cup. He eyed you for a moment, unidentifiable glint in his orbs that you felt burning into your back as you served the more eccentric of the bunch.

She took a generous sip, making her delight uncomfortably loud, "Mmmmm!!! This is delicious! Erwin get yourself a wife so when I go to your house, she can make me tea just as good!"

"You know damn well the circumstances shitty glasses" Levi commented and you shared a questioning look with him.

Offended (you actually weren't quite sure), Hange released a strangled cry, "But you got married! Or was this before the incident that-"

"I believe that's enough from you Hange," Erwin interjected and you felt even more lost in this sea of statements that felt like purposely chosen incorrect puzzle pieces. "the tea is magnificent, thank you and thank you as well on behalf of my friend"

Hesitantly nodding you turned to Levi and stood rigidly with your hands behind your back, "I'll be leaving now and pardon me if my intrusion disrupted your conversation." A warning glower from Levi made you frown, he didn't miss the biting tone with an edge of suspicion to it. It was with that look alone that he ordered you stay out of it.

You didn't get two steps away from the table when Hange cried out, "Wait! Are you leaving so soon? Stay, stay! Please, let's chat!"

You didn't need to direct any attention to Levi to acknowledge the silent order for you to just go. "I am very sorry but I have to finish-"

"Actually that isn't too bad of an idea, join us for a while, why don't you?" It was Erwin's confident tone that stopped you again from turning to leave. He gave Levi a sympathetic yet teasing look, "I'd like to know how my very antisocial friend managed to get a wife before I"

The sound of a fist slamming on the table only spooked you, Levi's key had a similar effect, "We have important things that need discussing"

It was Hange who blew a raspberry even when his face leaked murderous intent, "Pfft, we're here all weekend! I don't know when will be the next time we come for just the fun of it. Come," Hange waved you over, "sit next to me!"

"I really mustn't" you argued, aware that Levi was displeased with how the situation was unfolding.

"No, she's going back to her duties." Levi stated, at this rate looking more desperate than terrifying.

"Oh shush you little goblin! You're scaring the poor thing!" Erwin chuckled at Hange's nickname and you had to vigorously try to not giggle.

"Hange is right Levi, let us converse, it shouldn't take too much time" Erwin tried to persuade Levi who still seemed to have one last resort to turn to. It really was strange that he didn't want you here, you didn't believe for a second that it was only because he was still throwing a tantrum over your lack of cooperation.

"For fuck's sake, just let it go. She clearly doesn't want to be here" Levi gestured to your face that probably looked more amused than uncomfortable.

Has he really been driven to an edge where he was to make such poor excuses?

"Why don't we ask the little Lady what she'd like" Erwin suggested. He beckoned you over and you stood behind Levi's chair, "Would you grant us the privilege to speak with you, we'd hold the utmost appreciation if you shared your time to converse with us"

The hands you held over Levi's shoulders felt the slump and realized he'd withdrawn from any further attempts of driving you away. With that done, you finally shook your head yes, "Of course, I'd love to tell you all about... Well, I'll answer whatever your questions regard as best I can"

"Alright then, take a seat" Hange smiled and you complied, setting yourself besides a disgruntled looking Levi who looked positively annoyed.

"So," Erwin began, "how did Levi manage to captivate you?"

You smiled sheepishly, "Well, you know Levi... he can be quite the charmer." At this Hange exploded into a laughing fit, slapping her knee and sputtering indescribable nonsense you momentarily were shocked into silence.

She breathed heavily, wagging a finger, "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Levi being charming!" Erwin himself chuckled and you strained a grin, failing to notice a shrinking Levi to your side. Now you knew why he wanted you gone, this topic of conversation was what he was expecting as well as a hurricane of endless teasing.

"I admit he wasn't all too," you hummed as you thought of a term, "eloquent in social attributes but what made him charming was his attempt to exhibit his interest in me." Without realizing, a fond smile etched onto your pink tainted lips, "Yes, I recall him making the effort to accompany me to places he clearly was not comfortable in."

Hange whistled, "He did all that!?" You nodded as she shook her head in disbelief, "Then you must have him eating out of your palm since Levi never, and I repeat, never goes anywhere he doesn't want to go unless it's absolutely necessary and work related"

"That I must agree, how deep were you old friend that you had to force yourself to endure all that?" Erwin teased, Levi sat with his arms crossed and slumped into his seat, looking visibly upset at the unravelling story of his conquest for you. It came as no surprise, when you first saw him, you could derive from his glacial, brooding countenance that he was not one to chase after fancies or willingly place himself in social situations.

"It seems desperate enough by the sound of it" you mentioned, your foot tapped beneath the table by his own. Surely it served as a sort of warning, which you utterly disregarded in hopes of seeing him looking more embarrassed. It was... endearing, but the pleasure you derived from seeing him try not to squirm from having his vulnerability exposed to his friends was undeniable.

"Then he was the one who came after you?" Hange inquired and you nodded in confirmation, this only seemed to surprise the pair of guests even more. "This is totally uncharacteristic of you Levi, what made you so attracted to her, y'know... other than that gorgeous face"

"None of your damn business, now can we change the shitty subject, it's getting annoying" he scowled, sipping grumpily from his tea.

"No way, we want to listen to all the details, besides, she can tell us if she wants to" Hange argued, placing you in the spot. As entertaining as it seemed, Levi really radiated an aura of discomfort and as much as you'd like to deny it, you felt a tinge of guilt.

"Listen, it has been a wonderful pleasure chatting with you both but I really must see to the meal." You patted your lips with your napkin, excusing yourself. "I'll have two additional spots set up at the dining table for lunch, see you then Mr. Smith and Ms. Hange"

Hange waved her hand, "No, no, just call me Hange, and what a shame but I won't push you anymore, see you then sweetheart"

"Same as I, you may refer to me as my given name and my sincerest apologies if we made you feel placed out of ease" Erwin offered as well, both smiling cordially.

You did not argue in modesty for the sake of departing quickly, "Why thank you, and it's no problem as it has been an honor to speak to the revered Commander of the battle troops and a gifted scientist which I'm sure has a bountiful intellect."

"You are just so sweet!" Hange squealed and you wryly grinned.

"I'll see you then my Lord" you mentioned to Levi who nodded curtly, not hiding his obvious displeasure. It was then that you entered the inside again and nearly slammed the glass doors shut from your befuddled mind. Whatever they had been discussing prior to your interjection had obviously been highly classified and for your safety, at least for now, you would not pry.

~▪~

"So, you really did it huh?" Hange said in a much more serious key, "You always were so against the idea of having anyone close and you went and fell in love like a fool"

"Tch," Levi clicked his tongue, harshly gulping the liquid, "I tried, so fucken hard, don't come at me with that bullshit, we both know you had your own similar affairs."

Hange's eyes flashed dangerously, "I rather you not bring that up, I only said that for your sake. Because I know what it's like to loose someone you care about"

"You weren't careful, you let that someone know far too much and it ended in bloodshed!" Levi raised his voice mildly, "It won't be the same because I'm not as careless as you"

"That's enough, both of you" Erwin called, pushing the two against their shoulders and shoving them into their seats. "What happened with Sawney and Bean was an accident," Hange whimpered at the mentioned names, "I'm not saying to abstain from happiness Levi, but if that young woman is your happiness, take very good care of her, we wouldn't want another 'accident' to occur"

After a short silence, the brunette chuckled, "Hey Levi, you almost actually got me mad." She shook her head gently, biting into a biscuit. "She seems very nice, it would be a shame if you allowed anything to happen to her for being too careless. You remember what happened the last time with those two"

"That won't repeat itself, be assured that I'll be the utmost cautious this time." He shuddered inwardly at the memory of two faceless people in his mental image. "Besides, she's too scared to even be outside of the premises of the estate after that incident that happened last week"

"What incident, and don't say it's none of my business, you've made me curious so now you have to speak" Hange rambled, arms crossed stubbornly.

Levi rolled his eyes, "I wasn't planning on keeping it to myself. You remember that fucker from a few months ago?" He asked, Erwin seemed to perk at the mention.

"Your friend's uncle? The one who was working with them?" Erwin whispered, leaning closer as Levi nodded sullenly. "Don't tell me he tried something with-"

"Yes, yes he did." The raven haired heir with a deep scowl etched into his features spat. "The other night, he was stalking my wife as she sat on the window sill. He had the balls to come into the orchard, and just a few days ago, tried to rape her"

"No!" Hange gasped, "How did he get to her? Isn't your estate under tight surveillance?"

Levi released a frustrated growl, "That's what I've been trying to figure out. She was at a shack by the river's edge, she says she got there on her own but not once did I believe her nor will I ever." Mercilessly chomping on his own biscuit, Levi furrowed his brows, "I don't understand why she insists on keeping quiet."

"But is she alright?" Erwin asked, his own self intrigued with the series of unfolding ordeals. His friend truly had cursed luck.

"No, she thinks she's so great at keeping her emotions out of her face. She won't even let the maids help with dressing herself" Levi explained, feeling his lips fall further and further into a sour frown. "Though she allows me fo touch her occasionally" he added in a mumble.

"Are you worried, would you like me to talk to her and reassure her that all will be fine?" The scientist offered.

"No, I'll do it myself as soon as I can" he said. "But first she needs to stop being so goddamned stubborn and tell me who the bloody fuck helped her find that shitty shack"

"Aw, Wevi's frustrated" Hange cooed. "You know, if you didn't use such a filthy tongue, maybe she'd be more comfortable talking with you"

"Hange's right, her family I know is very religious, she probably isn't too fond of your choice of language" Erwin said, knowing expression on his chiseled features.

"I doubt it, I don't really say anything too strong in front of her. She's keeping it to herself for other reasons." He ran down memory lane from their courting days to the marriage to now. "As of late, she's been distant for whoever the fuck knows."

"You haven't said or done anything as of late that could have made her upset?" Erwin asked, skeptical gaze on Levi as he rubbed his chin.

The opposing man lied, "No, nothing she'd be sensitive towards."

"Maybe she's moody from you know what," Hange winked suggestively, "I'm sure you haven't wasted any time in associating yourself with her in that way"

Levi scoffed, "Please, we haven't even done anything beyond kissing. As I said, she is too distant and prude likely due to her religious background."

"Then maybe that's it!" Hange exclaimed, "She's likely not distant, just too shy and inexperienced. Seduce her, enchant her, I don't know, make her want you?"

Levi hated to admit that he was willing to talk this subject if it meant helping him be more appealing, however he wasn't too sure of the effectiveness of Hange's methods since after all, they were Hange's methods. Swallowing his pride, he asked in a strangled tone, "How do I do that?"

Erwin snorted and quickly was silenced after an angry glare pierced his very soul. Hange chuckled, "Leave that to me, by the end of the weekend, she'll be shamelessly all over you"

"How can you be sure?" Erwin quizzed perplexedly.

"Oh you boys don't know the complex woman" Hange explained, chin raised dismissively as if she were addressing a pair of idiots.

It was then that Levi clicked his tongue, "I don't believe you're completely a woman."

"Hoo!" Hange exclaimed, jaw hanging in disbelief, "Do you want my help or not? I'm your best shot at attracting her"

Erwin in a warning tone clasped Levi's shoulder, "Levi, please consider this, it's Hange whomst we speak of"

"I'll take it" Levi stated as Erwin slapped his forehead and Hange cried a defeaning screech of victory. There undeniably was a twinge of regret within the raven haired indivi consider this, it's Hange whomst we speak of"

"I'll take it" Levi stated as Erwin slapped his forehead and Hange cried a defeaning screech of victory. There undeniably was a twingedual but he still inquired, "So, when do we begin?"

"Tonight!" Cackled the mad woman, fingers drumming the edge of the table as her glasses reflected the light of day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next few chapters I want to make more lighthearted and from Levi's and the gang's perspectives. Then angst, hopefully lots.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I got badly sick a d took some time to recuperate. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, things will only get saucier and messier

_Conquista De La Dama_

_Vol. I_

Friday afternoon was a mellow and tranquil day, allowing for lunch to be served on the patio table rather than the stuffy indoor dining room. Levi's hardened stare was focused on you, still mulling over Hange's earlier words;

_Try using a romantic name, perhaps that'll make your relationship feel more intimate_

He debated if it was a good idea to do so in front of his friends and several of his workers, all of which would undoubtedly pelt him with perplexed gawks. He glanced at Hange who was amidst chewing on her chicken breast and grinned towards him upon noticing his focus on her, encouraging the man with an enthusiastic thumbs up.

After a painful swallow of clearly improperly chewed food, she gestured towards you who ate delicately and then mouthed, 'Go on!'

Levi narrowed his eyes, catching a brief glimpse of Erwin who had been shaking his head after witnessing the silent interaction between him and Hange. Unaware and therefore indifferent, you sipped your drink, looking quite like you'd rather be anywhere else but here.

He shook his head 'no' in resignation, to which Hange's face wringed in a series of upset and desperate emotions. At this rate, she was manically gesturing between you and him as he shook his head furiously, you blissfully unaware of the ongoing scheme brewing right beyond your nose.

It was after Hange threw a napkin to Levi that you looked up. You could've sworn you saw a flicker of white pierce through the air, its unanticipating target being Levi but when you regarded said man in question, he was eating peacefully as he always did. You turned to Hange, discovering similar comportment and then to Erwin who was wearing such a stiff face you feared it'd retain that rigid appearance forever.

You had half the mind to speak just to release the tense silence but forced yourself to be physically unable to produce decipherable words by gingerly stuffing your mouth with rice. The antics ensued after you bowed your head down to continue eating, Hange pressing her hands in prayer to propel Levi into an attempt.

He glared harshly, clearly mouthing a stern 'No' to which Hange scowled and rolled her eyes.

The meal proceeded in serenity however with an uneasing silence, but finished in no disaster at the very least. But afterwards was a different story.

Levi cleared his throat, stoic visage and low tone turning the quietness into a never-before-thought statement. He had swallowed his pride, his character and his insecurities as well as rode far beyond his boundary of conformity in saying, "How was the meal... _darling_?"

.

.

.

Not a single sound came after.

You'd not even reacted, it seemed he hadn't even addressed you, at all. You merely briefly acknowledged him, scanned each of his friends as if the reply was due by one of them, and proceeded to excuse yourself. Hange was left flabbergasted, astounded that her advice had flopped so grandly.

Levi slammed a fist on the table, not minding the possibility that you would hear and turned in a fit towards the brunette, "Your advice was jackshit! Absolute jackshit!"

Erwin rose calmly, hands waving gently to soothe the situation, even if it seemed futile to try, "At ease, there'll be more opportunities." He was correct, but those words did not alleviate the heaviness and anger present in Levi's composure and expression.

Hange nodded with rigor, "Erwin's right, we have all weekend!" She smiled confidently, baring her set of perfectly lined teeth, it disappeared when Levi directed a truly terrifying glare with underlying intentions that went far beyond the regular insults. It was difficult to contain how upset he was at that embarrassing moment so much that he had to storm away, letting the floor receive his anger in pounding stomps.

~•~

After being humiliated, publicly because no doubt everyone around at the moment had already ran their mouths, Levi returned to his office with his two friends.

After a long, tedious discussion of strategizing their following move in regards to the confidential case they were dealing with, the three took a break. Hange stood by the window, arms crossed and staring at the young woman with an easel perched before her.

"She's quite talented," Hange made mention of her artistic skills, "is that one of the qualities you like about her?" No answer was given, Levi was still absolutely pissed about earlier's events.

Erwin sighed, it seemed he was holding back from his own commentary to avoid hurling his friend into deeper frustrations. However, he too was curious about what made the short Master attracted to someone so... different from him. "Tell us about her Levi, she seems to be interesting"

"I won't indulge you. Ask her yourself" Levi harshly replied, sipping his tea in a grumpy fashion. He glanced at you, well, specifically at your back that faced him and saw how gracious your movements were, he felt like an ugly forest imp compared to you.

"Aw, don't be mean! I didn't know she'd react like that but if anything, at least we know that her shyness extends to even pet names." Hange explained, nodding thoughtfully. "What needs to be done is not such a forward oral approach but gentler initiative on intimate contact."

"Isn't that more forward and bold than words?" Erwin thought aloud, leaning back into the comfortable chair.

"Explain" Levi ordered, eye lids leaving barely the room necessary to see his pupils. Hange moved away from the window and came to sit with the other two men around the coffee table.

"You said she only lets you touch her, use that to your advantage. Tonight when the both of you go to bed, caress her, touch her hair, lips, be a little bold, I don't know... get her in the mood?" Erwin coughed, standing up and grabbing a book from the shelfs, feeling too strange about the topic of conversation. Levi scoffed at this but lent his ear so Hange could go on, "You never know, come here," Hange motioned for Levi to bring his ear to her lips. Erwin watched in curiosity as the scientist whispered something in his friend's ear that made his pale face go a slight pink.

"Not in a million years will I comply with that asshattery you just suggested" Levi exclaimed with a well etched scowl on his disgusted features.

Hange laughed, "Think about it, I might be right! I admit lunch wasn't the best result but as I mentioned, maybe she prefers action over words!"

Erwin naturally was now wondering what had caused such a reaction and made the mistake of asking, "What did Hange suggest, Levi?"

The latter undulated his head, disgruntled and very bothered by whatever the bespectacled woman had uttered, "Not worth listening to, it's a shitty idea like the last one which I've no doubt will have similar results"

Hange snapped her fingers to gain their attention, "Not true, this time you'll only be humiliated in front of her!"

It was silently and expertly executed the way Levi took the book from Erwin's hands, aimed in the span of an instant and hurled it straight to the unsuspecting head of the brunette. No more was discussed, Levi stood and left wordlessly.

~•~

He walked the halls of his estate, thinking, pondering, wondering what would make her so cold and distant. He recalled prior to the week of the marriage, she still obliged to kiss him, hug him, talk with him about trivial matters. The tricky part was that she'd always kept a distance, however for her prudeness, but now it merely seemed to be done with intent.

Intent to hurt.

_The problem could be me_

The notion popped into his mind. Barrelling into him like the giant, crashing waves in the extensive sea. He was washed over by the extreme surprise of only having thought about it now.

It was no obscured secret that he wasn't the most... enthusiastic, lively, or cheery man. And sure he wasn't too eloquent at communicating, refraining from cursing as often in her presence was difficult but the attempt was made, not to mention she'd reassured him multiple times she did not mind that he could not facilitate or be competent enough to ensue an interaction that didn't follow with an awkward silence.

Still, that just confused him all the more, if he was not the problem, then what was? His act of selfishness, there was simply no way of it being known by anyone apart from himself and the opposing party.

"Just the shitty prudeness..." he muttered, narrowed eyes convinced as he watched her step back and behold her work that there was no way she could hate him. He wouldn't believe it, wouldn't allow it.

~•~

Evening was all but a nerve wreck, he hadn't seen her since noon and hadn't interacted with her since today's morning since she clearly had nothing to say during lunch. He peaked from his book as she stepped out in her new nightgown that he'd personally wasted a fortune in, and realized how worth the spending was as she looked positively beautiful in the soft, very diffused coral shade.

Her hair, incredibly long as most women's, was fastened in her grip as she brushed out the tangles and knots whilst sitting on the bed looking quite pensive. On the couch, he went back to his book but could not help to take intervals between every few words to stare at her figure. His hands would be trembling if he didn't have the self control he possessed when thinking about Hange's brazen suggestion.

Quietly, he placed the book down by his thigh and crept to the bed, making no sound or sign of his approach. The closer the distance, the more he could hear the gentle lullaby she sang. She was no Opera singer but her lessons had granted her the respectable ability.

Leaning his weight on the bed, she seemed startled by his presence as she jolted and dropped the brush with a clatter. His brows furrowed as he squeezed his eyes shut, the unknown truly a fearful aspect to him. His fingers grabbed her shoulder and without regarding how she may feel, pulled her to him.

She flopped on her back rather ungracefully, staring into his eyes with her own wide orbs. All sound was drowned out in exception to their breathing, her eyes trailed on one of the hands pressed firmly to the side of her head, up the forearm, to his bicep and then to his face. Wringed together, her brows formed small wrinkles on her forehead, "What in the heavens are you up to, you startled me!" He could not reply, not with how enticing she looked with her hair sprawled and the thin fabric cascading down her sides, giving a perfect sight of the shape of her body.

Snapping out of the the spell he'd been under, a searing fire erupted in his eyes when being reminded of the earlier humiliation, "Why did you ignore me?" He was referring to the scarce reply she'd given in reaction to his pet name.

Confusion dawned on her, it gave the idea that it was genuine judging by how alarmed she appeared. Her face contorted in perplexion as she likely ran the day's events through her memory, he clicked his tongue at her audacity to ask, "When?"

He snapped his teeth shut with his tongue in between to prevent from saying anything too crass, but went on utilizing a tone edged to the brim with distaste, "During the afternoon lunch."

"During the afternoon lunch..." she repeated in a hardly audible mumble, he waited until her eyes lost that distant look and returned to present time. There was a small gasp from her end, "I didn't think you were talking to me"

He shook to contain his anger fueled solely by embarrassment, it seemed he was wearing away at his passive state by how he spoke, "Who... who else would I be talking to?" There was a chance she was being honest, but how could one severely fuck up like that?

"Well," she began, "you've never called me anything like that before, and your friends I had only seen them until they arrived so I thought that the term was for one of them and not me. In addition, I've only seen you interact with them once, so I don't know what you call them and to be suddenly referred to with such a tender name seemed uncharacteristic of you." Promptly shut by her quite believable explanation, it prompted him to believe he was worthy of being deemed an absolute dumbass.

_Of fucken course she would think that_

So lost in his self loathing he was awakened from his damper mood when he felt a gentle hand on his cheek. It was surprising since it'd been the first time since their marriage that she had initiated contact under no pressure or external forces, "Levi," she cooed softly, "silly Levi" she then chuckled before curling her lips in a sympathetic fashion. She looked so sweet he might as well have gotten cavities if he dared kiss those lips... but simply too sweet. She continued, "I'm sorry if it seemed like I ignored you. That was not my intention, I just assumed that you wouldn't suddenly begin calling me as such. Especially in front of so many others"

He intertwined his fingers with hers and laid his head on her bosom, feeling immediately how she stiffened up. "No, I'm to blame for not making it clear..." he wished she wouldn't pursue the situation any further, he wasn't sure it was in him to get sentimental and gooey. All that had needed to be said had essentially been said, he hoped she thought similarly.

Pleasingly she did as there was no further talk regarding the events. For a moment he considered once again listening to Hange's advice and as he gazed at her peaceful state with her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks and lips set neutrally, he threw caution to the wind and quietly muttered, "Let me make it up to you"

She coughed, cleared her throat instantly after he said that, proceeding to hurriedly sputter, "You needn't do anything, it really isn't a big deal."

He shifted around so that he was positioned higher on the bed, looking into her wide eyes that honed hidden emotions, "Not just for that, for being upset with you when you chose not to tell me who sent you to that shack."

"No, no, I understand you are only worried" the way her face became a fill of nervous had him wondering what she was thinking. "It's all water under the bridge, really, now let's rest, we need to be up and able tomorrow"

She turned her back to him, prompting him to frown deeply. _Doee she really hold no interest for bedroom activities?_ Scooting to a scarce proximity, a hand of his seized her waist and dragged her to him so that her tense back was against his chest. He removed the hair covering her neck and trailed the tip of his nose from the junction to her jaw, "But the night is still young" he breathlessly whispered.

Shrinking into herself, she persisted,"Perhaps it's best if we didn't, I'm certain that regardless of the time, you'll be tired out. You need to wake before dawn, remember?" She explained, her hand cupping her neck and effectively shooing away Levi's face from her.

He huffed, inhalation caught in his throat when her leg brushed against a compromising area of his. Ecouraged by believing that touch was meant to rile him, a careful hand slid under the blanket, ghosting over her unsuspecting body. He stopped short at her mid thigh, waiting for any kind of rejection. When there was no sign of this, he pinched the fabric and tugged it.

Once his fingers felt the ruffled hem, they swiftly dove under and felt the warm, smooth flesh beneath. Her breath hitched audibly with no sound following. He was frozen still, awaiting to be pushed away. And like the previous times, resistance was not given.

There were no barriers the higher he trailed those dangerous digits, no drawers or chemise or camisole, just silky, tepid, untouched skin. He looked up, finding herself huddled into her shoulders, eyes squeezed shut.

The pitiful sight poured guilt into him. The fascination at the sensation of her tender skin vanished, any sparse scatters of lust lost in a turbulent ocean of culpability and self reproach. He drew his defiling hand away, sighed heavily and rolled to the opposing side of the bed.

Her shift was prominent and as he gazed into her wide eyes, he pursed his lips before muttering in disappointment, "Get some rest"

There existed conflict in those moonlit rings shielded partly by drawn down eyelashes, a fleeting glimpse of curiosity in the frown splayed on her lips before it relinquished to her neutral expression, "Please do so as well." It was sparse, the sound of gratitude in her small voice, how it stabbed his heart to know she held so little interest in him that would urge her to be thankful for his lack of touch.

He nodded faintly, watching her as she leisurely descended to sleep. He wondered how could she be so alarmed by him minutes ago but willfully fall into the vulnerable state of slumbering within the same bed as him. Extending a hand, he dared touch her cheek and caress it, underlining her lips with an invisible line and feeling the extensive rises and lows on her face.

Her complexion became an ethereal, whimsical sight as the moonlight fell across her features, igniting a glimmer in her eyelashes and otherworldly glow. She was beautiful, too beautiful and bewitching, at times he felt like she was toying mercilessly with him.

One moment she genuinely smiled to him, the next she would grimace and scowl. Another she'd merely feign a grin, touch him tenderly and asked to be held, but feel so far when in his embrace. He fisted his palm, holding the pressure before releasing and continuing to explore the serene portrait. For a second, he could pretend she was happy as could be, willfully in this bed and leaning into his touch. It was all well so long as he could feign, believe that in moments like these, she truly felt what a wife felt for her husband.

His eyes were rested for a pregnant period when a small knock on his door alerted him. His first instinct was to look to her and assure himself she was fine. He shuffled out of the comforter after a second series of gentle knocks and did not bother to put on a shirt.

The last person he wished to see behind the planks of wood was exactly who was behind them. He venomously hissed in a whisper, "What the bloody hell do you want, Shitty Glasses?"

"I was going to ask if you went through with it?" A wicked glean to her eyes with a perverted smile was offered.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed deeply in exasperation, "No." A low, dejected whine came from the woman, "And why the fuck would you ask something like that so late? What if we were in the middle of something?"

She hummed, "But you weren't," he had a look on him that demanded how she knew, and he regretted ever questioning it after hearing her exclaim, "Because I heard no noises." He bristled at this, unfortunately not quick enough to silence her continued ramble, "Well, it's what led me to the assumption but I also thought maybe you weren't too good you know. Or maybe you don't last long because you certainly look disheveled enough to indicate something was done, but clearly not sufficiently nor efficiently if your wife didn't sound like she was enjoying-"

"Enough!" He growled out, "Nothing happened, and it won't anytime soon. I'm starting to believe you're just bullshitting me to make me look like a idiot."

"Oh Levi, that's not my intention." She lined an 'x' over her chest, "I promise that I only want to help you. Perhaps our two initial trials failed but now we know what not to do."

He groaned, tiredness settling on his weary features as he rubbed a palm against his eye, "Just leave, we'll discuss this tomorrow"

Before he could shut the door, the brunette intercepted with her foot and smiled sympathetically, "Clear your schedule for tomorrow. When was the last time you spent a good deal of quality time with her?"

"I don't recall" he murmured, "hurry or I'll slam this door on your shitty face"

"Alright, alright, no need to get violent" she chuckled. Upturning her palm in a gesture, she leaned close, "Take her horseback riding to somewhere nice, a walk in the town maybe, or a picnic? Women love gestures like those"

He mulled it for a second, eyes flitted to the side in a pensive state. He met the hopeful gaze of Hange before quickly uttering, "Good night" and shutting the door. He was making all these efforts with the possibility of it all being for naught. But upon laying eyes on that innocent, beautiful face of hers, he could not help but feel that every moment dedicated to her was far from a waste.

He'd never fallen in love, but now that he had, it was a hard, painful fall that kept him held down and unable to rise or pull away. This conflict pained him, he wasn't completely sure now that she still was unaware of his misdoings. He'd pay a visit in due time the other party, but for now, he would focus on her and solely her.

In reconquering her heart, soul, and body. He would not give up until she reflected how strongly for him she felt as she once had claimed to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hange just gives the absolute, best advice. If you're wondering what she suggested to Levi, it involved a blindfold 👀
> 
> Anyways, seems like Levi picked up on your reluctance and stopped before taking it too far. How very caring of him... 
> 
> Until next time 💜💜


	12. Chapter 12

Levi had showered and changed, as well as laid out and acquired the necessities for the day. As Hange had told him the prior night, he excised all that filled his schedule to plan for the day.

By the time he returned to the bedroom, he found you, only barely rousing from slumber. Slowly ascending your upper body into a sitting position, you rubbed wearily at your sleep ridden eyes and yawned. The sound of the door clicking shut resounded and alerted you of the other presence in the room.

He came over, flicking your forehead to awake you better and sat down as he fastened your locks behind your ear, "Get ready, wear something comfortable because we're going out"

Allowing no time to study your perplexed, lousy features, he left wordlessly to his personal study. Seeking a short rest on the fanciful leather chair, his elbows rested on the armrests and his head tipped gently back. Tension in him sparsed to bits in the time you took to wash yourself and look presentable.

When he reentered the bedroom, he coughed to gain your attention. Hurriedly you brought the sleeves over your shoulders, huddling into your hunched self and exclaiming, "My word! I could have been in a less decent state!"

"Tch," he clicked his tongue, coming up behind you and yanking the strings of your corset, you jerked in accordance to his rough movements,"I've seen you wearing less, need I remind you that I was the one who helped you out of your shi- little prurient negligee?"

Pursing your lips shut, it would be vain and fruitless to waste breaths on an already decided argument; thus you deflated for him to be allowed facilitated access to hitching the strings. "You needn't, I remember perfectly well... In regards to that, I apologize for the trouble" you sighed out, slowly inhaling as the stiff fabric closed further into you, becoming a second skin.

He hummed lowly, "It was far from troublesome, in fact," you shivered as his breath caressed behind your bare shoulder, "I'd say it was quite enjoyable"

 _Chuik_!

Hastily pulling your sleeves to their rightful position, you craned your head back to glare at the brash Master, greeted by the sight of his back as he left the room. "Meet me downstairs when you're ready" he said with the taste of your skin still on his lips, leaving you to your own flushed devices. Upon harshly setting your palms flat on the surface of the vanity, disgusted at the sight of your flushed face, you quickly applied powder so as to shield the shameless pink glow.

Levi stepped down the stairs, finding himself in the foyer soon enough and face to face with Armin. The lad bowed and greeted him with a nervous smile afterwards, "Has she told you yet?"

"No" he muttered, scowling at the grim reminder.

Armin dropped the empty tray to his side, eyes wide and round as he stuttered, "T-then... that means she doesn't know you're already aware?"

"She's clueless and I forbid you from mentioning it to her" he said so sternly, arms crossed with an equally demanding expression.

"Any leads on why she would keep it from you, Sir?" The small voice of the blond asked, genuinely curious himself.

"I know she and Colette don't get along, so I've no damn idea why she'd waste a chance to rat her out" he wondered aloud, rubbing his chin. Flitting his eyes to him, he inquired, "Oi, do you have any clue?"

Armin gently shook his head, "No Master, but I suppose that doesn't seem very like the Lady. Perhaps it's as I've seen it a few times already, that it's not within her nature to purposefully seek someone's misfortune"

Levi had to almost chuckle at the innocence of the boy. A saint you may appear and act at times, but he'd seen that people were not what they really appeared to be, this did not exclude you. Especially as he'd known a more warped side of you, a brief fleet of madness when you looked into your mother's eyes the day of yours and his wedding. The Master nodded, feigned gesture to appear in agreement, "Yes, that's maybe why"

"I don't mean to intrude," the footman began, shy and reluctant key that nevertheless went on, "but I've noticed since the day she arrived, that... the Lady doesn't display genuine enjoyment"

"It's none of your business," Levi retorted, "so I will tell you not to read too deeply into things Coconut Head." Armin squeaked at the unexpected dub. "But..." he cleared his throat, "you're not wrong"

"Master?" Armin uncertainly called, seeing the pensive state the shorter male had disappeared within.

It was instantaneous, the spur back to reality. Gunmetal irises falling on Armin, "It's nothing, is my horse and Damsel ready?"

Nodding vigorously, Armin stood rigidly, "Y-yes! They are waiting outside until you and the Lady are ready"

As if on cue, the clacking of shoes ensued from the staircase. And nothing short of expected, looking as charming as ever, you descended step by step, fan raised as routinely. "Good, you're ready?"

"Yes" you uttered, taking his hand and helped to the leveled floor. You greeted Armin briefly as he did with you, pleasantries offered prior to his dismissal.

Levi led you out, arms linked as you walked down the path. Once you reached the end, two whining horses stood obediently by. Levi noticed your perplexed gaze and arched a brow, "What?"

You turned to him, still looking about as if something was missing, "Where's the carriage?"

He snorted, huffed as he made you approach the large creature, "There is no carriage, just horses"

"I see that," you snapped, "how are we to go anywhere without a carriage?" Once you noticed the waning distance between yourself and the giant beasts, you dug your heels into the Earth but that gave close to no resistance.

"The horses will take us" he calmly explained.

Aghast you gasped, repeating dumbfoundedly, "The horses will take us!?"

"It's just as I said" he grumbled, furthering your body to the white steed.

You shook your head vigorously, wiggling to leave his grasp, "I can't ride a horse! I don't know how! I'm not even dressed accordingly. Please don't!" You squeaked, eyes screwed shut to shield the sight of those beady little eyes and menacing size. You felt your feet sliding through the smooth grass as Levi pushed you by the shoulders like some sort of cart. A pitiful sob mixed with an ugly whine emerged from your lips upon feeling a musky breath blow away your fringe.

He called your name and you felt him palm your hand, bringing it up to the horse's nose bridge, "Damsel, meet the other Damsel." You pouted at his quip but nevertheless opened your eyes to find two large brown orbs peering curiously into yours. He conducted your hand to appropriately pet the animal, you regained the semblance of indifference after stroking for a while. Without realizing, he had removed his own hand from yours and was watching you become acquaintanced with the mare. "Now, mount her"

"What!?" You whipped around, jolting at the loud whinny of the horse. He rolled his eyes and swiftly kicked a leg over the back of his steed. You were trembling like a leaf, mounted on his horse, he was tall as could be. "I can not do that, especially as I am wearing skirts. Besides," you coughed, "a lady must never spread her legs"

He gave you a sinister smirk, "She can do so in the presence of her husband, in fact, it's preferred she does"

"Heavens, where has all this brazen forwardness come from..." you murmured, trying your damndest to conceal a reaction. Stepping away as Levi's horse trotted next to you, he leaned so low it appeared he would've fallen any second.

Expertly, he plucked you off the ground by the dip of your waist, hearing your protesting cries. They were vain for in the the end, you were sat on the saddle, clutching the reigns for dear life.

"See, it wasn't too bad" he said, fastening a rope to the reigns on your horse as you heaved breath after breath to calm yourself from the diminutive heart attack currently being experienced. Clapping a boot clad foot against his steed's side, the animal began moving, tugging along yours. Upon adhering to the unrelenting tugs, you disregarded the leather harness and resulted to embracing the crest of the horse.

After a while of riding slowly through shrubbery, still clinging for dear life, you gulped down the bundle of nerves that felt almost agglutinated to the area. With your eyes still firmly closed, you concluded this trip would feel much shorter if you had something to divert the attention away from your current predicament. "Uhm, I have an inquiry, husband"

"Ask away" he uttered, fleeting glance encouraging you to speak freely. You bit your lip, running various topics of conversation and of all forsaken ones, you chose the drabbest.

"Why is this horse's name Damsel?" It was an attempt, pitiful, but an attempt nonetheless. This time his prolonged stare settled on you, hard and judgemental, you realized his thoughts even with just the use of one of your eyes.

He sighed audibly, pouring in some exasperation, hoping to get an entertaining reaction from you, "Because, that mare is posh and pompous. Unless her maintenance is done, she won't cooperate. She has to look her absolute best to even leave the most clean, largest stall in the stables." Slowing his horse, he allowed for the mare you were riding to be riding on par with his, "She's a pain in the ass too, apart from having to change her water and hay every few hours, she won't gallop, at most she _may_ trot but that's only on her _good_ days" he said the last bit in a mocking tone. In response, the mare yanked the rope and did quite well in narrowly knocking off Levi who clicked his tongue in annoyance and muttered, "Shitty horse"

You watched the scene unfold with a slightly amused smile, Levi caught sight of it and his own eyes lifted. "Reminds me of someone" he muttered purposefully, watching as you indignantly pulled back your shoulders. You didn't offer a complaint but did give him a rather off putting glare that he could feel penetrating his skull.

He found it refreshing how expressive you were today, how little effort you directed in maintaining that ever stoic countenance was in its own right, surprising. After assuring himself that you were doing fine on the most docile mare, he went on through the designated trail.

~•~

"I do not understand why this us necessary..." Erwin grumbled, tagging along with Hange who was upon her own horse. Atop their craniums were stacked wreaths of leaves and grass that in height, resembled a top hat. Only that in this case, you'd call them a pair of rather ratty top hats.

"Shh!!" She hissed, being mindful of where she directed her horse towards to expertly avoid ensuing a pandemonium of cracks and crunches, the song of demise for the forestground's debris. "We need to make sure Levi doesn't mess up!" The brunette shouted hushedly, gesticulating exaggeratedly about her cause.

"I still fail to see the point, it's not like we can correct his mistakes for him." The blond explained matter of factly, to which Hange blew a raspberry and waved dismissively. They both ducked when Levi's swiveling head scanned the area.

In her whining key, she offered a quite lacking in compelling reason, "It may get interesting"

The counterpart sighed, rubbing his forehead, "I fail to know how you manage to convince me of ludicrous lunacies." He emphasized, " _Every, single, time_ "

"That's because deep down, you believe it's the correct and prudent thing to do, Erwin" she cheekily grinned, ignoring the weary response of a long exhale.

~•~

As the feeling of motion careened to an end, an eye of yours was revealed by your lid and looked carefully about. You noticer your trip had ended and watched as Levi gracefully hopped off, coming to stand in front of you.

He held his arms out, hands curling in a gesture to come hither. You pressed your legs as they hung to one side, stubbornly shaking your head. With a look of pure irritation, he barked, "Just jump, I'll catch you"

"I've no doubt about it but I don't think it'll be a pleasant sight!" You hollard, clutching the poor mare's beautifully made tendrils. He sighed, eyeballs circling in their sockets.

"It's just you and I out here, no one's going to see" he went on, gestures making his thinning patience increasingly apparent. "Come on, it's bad enough that this stupid horse decided to walk all the way here, don't make us waste more time"

Apprehension ettled on your features, pondering his words though still appearing very reluctant. For a few seconds he stood, waiting impatiently and jumped into action when suddenly, you did too. You flew through the air for brief moments, releasing a huff as your middle slammed against his shoulder, arms wrapping behind your knees and lower back to steady you.

You felt weightless in his hold, his stoic features unfazed when you were placed on the ground. Levi halted, attention on your slightly red face, he reached for your cheek and gingerly cupped it.

The proximity between your lips had been diminished to a few centimeters but that changed when you decided to clear your throat, "I think you should fasten the horses to an, um..." the words were lost when those intense irises stared you down, daring you to once again, give excuses. Defeat settled on your face, and Levi anticipated you'd give in but you did not, instead you challenged him further, "to a tree. Ahem, you said not to waste time?" His hands were still in mid air where they were touching you as you drew back, bitterly sympathetic smile on your lips, "Let's get to doing what you had me come all the way out here for"

With a glint of an odd feeling in his blue rings, he pulled the pair of steeds without another blurb to tie to a nearby branch. At this point, he hadn't any reason to expect anything less, still, it didn't erase the burn of disappointment left behind by your constant rejection to his affections.

Levi pulled you along, conducting you through an array of arbitrarily placed trees. He watched you occassionally, seeing you pull your skirts, tug on your hat, and madly fanning at your badly hidden exhausted face.

Finally, the pair of you emerged into a clearing, he tipped your hat at an angle to allow you to see what was set up before you. He heard it, a hardly audible gasp of surprise as you heaved a breath. Your gaze firmly locked itself with the laid out items. The small voice of yours wity uncertainty spoke, "What's all this?"

He took one of your hands, showing you to the thick, square blanket extended on the lush grass blades. Atop it's tumultuous surface, a basket with goods leaking out its edges and to its side standing regally, a bottle of wine and two glasses. "We are going to eat lunch in this shitty forest, then we'll move on to what's next" he said, pulling out his pocket watch and studying the item with a keen eye. Offering you a seat with a slight bow, Levi motioned for you to sit, "After you" he mentioned.

"Thank you" you said so gratefully, taking a seat on the fabric. He couldn't read what was going through your mind at the moment, this fact only making him more nervous feeling as though he'd already committed a mistake of sorts.

He took the bottle of wine, popping the cork efficiently; it being so silent led him to feel slightly anxious in regards to the success of hid plan. "You may eat, you know?" Levi mentioned after he noticed your ongoing stare at the food. You nodded in acknowledgement, taking a vine of green grapes and plucking one off.

As he was pouring you a glass, you stopped him, "I am not quite one for drinking." He was too late in covering the dishearten on his face. You quickly shook your head upon noticing it, "Oh! Actually I suppose I'll do so for this... special occasion" Before he could process that you'd just taken pity on him, the glass was taken from his lax grip as you drank a large portion in a single gulp. There was a pleasant look present on you countenance as you downed the expensive beverage, "i must admit, this isn't so bad..."

His retort was intended to be something along the lines of, 'You're not just saying that out of pity, are you?' However he decided to be cordial and nodded, "I'd prefer tea better, but I thought this would be a not too terrible addition"

"And it's not at all, but I'm worried" you suddenly said, his eyes snapped to yours as you smiled crookedly.

He felt perplexed, "Why so?" It was blatantly apparent you were in perfect condition and the spot he'd chosen was strayed from bear dens and other potential predators.

"It's your friends, I haven't seen them since we passed the boulder" you mentioned and at this he sighed.

"Oh, those idiots..." Pouring you some more of the silky dark crimson liquid, he drank from his own cup and leaned back his weight on an arm, "They're likely fine, the worst that could happen to them is that those stupid hats they were wearing were made from poison ivy"

A hand of yours covered your mouth that'd fallen agape, "Well I certainly hope not..."

"Come" he said, beckoning for you. He narrowed his eyes as your hesitation bled in your comportment. As soon as you leaned in close enough, his deft fingers shoved a delicacy in your mouth. Within him, a sensation of satisfaction bloomed upon hearing a pleased moan from you as you chewed and savored.

"Scrumptious!" You exclaimed, your eyes igniting with liveliness. "Where did you find these, I've never seen them before?" Uncermoiniously shoving another in your mouth, he shrugged.

"Petra's recipe, she's not from this nation so you can anticipate she'll make anything unusual if you ask her" he informed matter of factly. You hadn't known the chef was a foreigner as clearly discernible by your astonished wide eyes. He pulled out a familiarly packaged box, "Here"

"Thank you" he heard you murmur, gracefully accepting his gift of chocolates. There was a momentary pause in which you gazed distantly at your present, a frown embellished on your features. This left him wondering if he'd done wrong, if he'd somehow already ruined the day before half of it was reached. But then, you said something he wasn't sure hs was prepared to honestly answer, "What is this all due to?"

Your piercing, questioning gaze penetrated his consciousness, making him feel as though chains weighed him down. The chains of pride, the need to uphold indifference in the face of anyone, chains of strength that hid his vulnerability. Instead of looking pleased by the morsel that invaded your mouth for a third time, you looked positively upset and befuddled.

_Damn, just talk to her you shitty coward_

"Have more wine," he said, "I'm taking a break is all." Not even for a second did you believe him, but could he risk a similar scenario like the one from not too long ago? You'd be upset surely if he expressed his concerns with your very cold behavior.

_Tch, women_

You went ahead and nodded, a slight huff released to relay your blooming pessimistic mood. "What's this really all for, Levi?" Your narrowed glare was out for truth, willing to wring it out of him if it was necessary. You hadn't done much of prying before, meekly accepting when he wanted a subject to be unspoken of. Now you were relentless.

"I've said so already, to take a break" he uttered harshly, regretting his key as your eyes went wide. But he could not stop, he pursued to squander and smother the topic completely, "Don't question it any more"

"Is this because of the incident from a couple of weeks ago?" He refused to acknowledge her words, a single phrase could expose him and destroy his plans to mend this relationship. This day would end differently, he would succeed in seducing you. "Or... or, are you still on with the stupidity of doubting me?"

"It's no stupidity!" Hissing his words, he lunged to you, unrestrained, temper tested and provoked; certainly you'd uttered the wrong phrase. His uncanny behavior resembled a wild beast, gaze predatory and demeanor overbearing and oozing with danger. He held your cheeks, crushed his fingers into them as he hovered over your body, "You hardly look at me. Every moment you're with me, it seems like you're disgusted. I didn't take it as serious until you altogether began rejecting my affections. Tell me, have you fallen out of love with me?"

There was moments where the noises of the wilderness were sucked away, only your slightly ragged breath was all he could hear, only what he believed to be lies reached his ears, "No... I've not, we've been through this-"

He grit his teeth, slamming a fist on the blanket to the side of your head, " _Don't_ lie to me! Just say it and save me from the damn false hope!" He didn't pull away even as your fear struck face was exhibited before him.

In spite, you persevered, "I already told you that I speak no lies. If you will not take my word for it, then how else can I convince you?" Silence. You seemed to realize your mistake a moment far too late.

Your expression dropped as his darkened wickedly, "You shouldn't offer favors so carelessly," he said your name, the morbid feeling of a shiver crawling up your spine, unbearable. The hand that'd nearly depleted your cheeks into putty, softly smoothed over from the crown on your head, rubbing small circles on your temple and caressing your cheekbone whilst cupping your cheek. His thumb reached your lip, hooking it to your lower one and pulling, releasing gently and allowinng for it pop back into place. With an absolutely mad and lustful gaze, he leaned low enough where your wine breaths mingled, and with a voice befitting the allure of a Greek god, whispered a command, "Kiss me"

~•~

Erwin and Hange had been lost for a while. The woods they'd been wondering seemed to only lead back to the same rocky terrain. The taller of the two sighed, licking his dry lips and worriedly asking, "Don't you think we should take a different route. We have attempted the same one multiple times and it has led us back here"

The distress in his voice was evident, Hange almost swayed. "Mmm, no! I saw them heading this way! We probably took a wrong turn again, but this time we'll definitely get it!"

Fed up with the nonsense, Erwin sternly glared at the brunette, "No we will not. We take this route," his finger pointed at the trail his back faced, "and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change my mind." He heard nothing, and was rather pleased that no protests were offered, except when further analyzing Hange's face, he found abhorrent fright present. His softened tone spoke out, "Do you find yourself alright? What's the matter?"

As he approached her, it seemed she'd snapped out of whatever she'd been lost in and in alarm, slowly brought a finger to her lips. Tapping it incessantly, he realized she was asking him to be absolutely silent. He just didn't understand why. His perplexion was conveyed in his twisted features and as she completed her mission in keeping him silent, he slowly rotated her finger, telling him to cautiously turn around.

A hand flew to his mouth, there sniffing just mere feet away, was a gargantuan beast covered in thick, brown fur. A fluff ball stumbled about, coming towards the frozen pair that had been trying to make a silent escape. Unfortunately, the young cub approached Hange and sniffed her, she smiled madly from the fear and let out a low whine. Immediately, the mother sought what the source of sound had been and turned in their direction.

She growled as the cub innocently pranced around Hange's feet, teeth bared and positioning itself in the defensive. Erwin was slowly moving towards her, taking her elbow he contemplated if moving Hange away was the correct thing as the mother seemed absolutely concentrated on any movement near her young.

"The horses!" She whispered, both of them turning to the steeds that had been feeding but were now on the alert from the tension.

"We'll mount them when we are out of reach and mostly out of site" Erwin explained as quietly as could be. Hange hummed to indicate she'd perceived his plan. The two had been backing into the shrubbery as slowly as possible when suddenly, the cub whined and stumbled. It fell face flat on the stoney ground, making the two persons freeze.

The mother roared and came barrelling for the two that were horseless once the defeaning battle cry sounded. "Run!" Erwin shouted, taking off in a sprint with Hange close behind and a bear even closer. Hange could feel the warm huffs even though her thick clothes, the threat looming quite literally over her ankles. She laughed hysterically, a mix of sobs and guffaws inciting the bear and Erwin further. "Please Hange! We are on the verge of death, could you act a little more concerned?!"

The panting of the three mixed, heart beats drumming in their ears at the adrenaline coursing rapidly through their veins. It seemed an eternity that they'd been running, Erwin not allowing Hange to even fall a step behind. She kept trying to get his attention, asking him to wait, but he would not budge. "But Erwin, listen... to me!"

"No, don't waste your breath talking, just keep running, we'll loose it eventually!" The bulky blond wheezed through grit teeth. The former was not as physically gifted as her two friends, her legs being on the very verge of collapsing.

Hange shouted an apology, hurling herself at Erwin's feet. The world span for a few moments and then, after a pair of loud grunts and painful thuds, the wilderness returned to its tranquil state. Erwin waited with bated breath for a painful swipe to deal his last breath, but it never came and this confused him. Despite his aching body, he mustered the strength to glance behind him and laid his eyes upon a heaving Hange.

There was a cough and wheeze indicating she hadn't passed out. Then, followed by a hacking of the words, "I..." wheeze, "tri-" cough, "ied, totellyou-"

"When?" He inquired in regards to the moment the mother bear had decided to cease her pursuit of them. Hange shook her head and mumbled an array of incoherencies, between them he could make out '2 miles ago'.

Laying for a while over tufts of grass blades, both stared at the blue shrouded by vivid green leaves over their heads. Hange sighed, "Do you think our horses will hear us if we whistle for them?"

"I'm not sure," Erwin dejectedly mentioned, "we can go ahead and try but I believe it'd be wiser to find Levi and his wife." He sat up, the wreath of leaves after all the fiasco finally stumbling down his head, "I'll whistle for them."

With his fingers pinching his bottom lip, he breathed in, ready to release when Hange slapped a firm palm over his lips, her eyes wondered around, "Shh! Do you hear that?"

He strained his ears, "No, what is it-" and that's when a low sound surely enough, rang out. They gave their best efforts to make out what kind of animal it belonged to but to no avail. There was a husky breath, followed by a very, almost inaudible groan that sounded very alike to the sound a human would make. They traced the sounds and discovered a bush concealing whatever had been showering the silence with odd noises.

"At three, we'll pop our heads up!" She whisper shouted, smacking the wreath back on Erwin's head. In unison, they both said,

"One..."

"Two..."

"...Three!"

With a swift nod, their heads emerged and what followed next was a squeal and an indignant squawk. It certainly was a human, and not just any.

Levi, boldly straddling his wife, was mercilessly abusing her lips with his own and groping desperately around her body, her arms clinging to his neck. It was a brief glimpse only because Erwin dragged both of their heads to the safety of the obscuring shrub. They sat still for a while, listening to the unholy sounds being made until Erwin decided it was rude to simply sit there. He called it a violation of privacy.

Hange gave the reason that it'd be in their good favor to stake it out in order to tell them that they currently were horseless but Erwin had none of it, "Do not be so perverse Hange" he scolded, taking her with him against her will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like Levi is getting fed up! Be ready for some spicy scenes, nothing graphic but just to show how the sexual tension will initiate.


	13. Chapter 13

Merciless digits squeezed and clamped down on your sides, running up your body with a disregard to your inexperience. Levi's eyes peered into yours as his lips moved roughly against yours. Unfledged you were in the art of bussing, your conduct exhibiting you as an innocent virgin woman unacquainted to the taste of the forbidden fruit.

Your locked lips were far from a dance of passion, a turbulent battle their actions resembled more. From the clashing of teeth to the recoiling of your own tongue, to the consistent lack of synchronicity. But, Levi did not allow this to ruin his moment. He continued to grope and fondle your less lascivious aspects, reserving your womanly facets for a more intimate and less crude environment.

He rose, a hand diving for the ribbon on your neck, tugging it undone. With his eagerness, he nearly ripped apart your blouse, brushing the ruffled fabric away from your neck and clavicle. Unmarred skin was felt by gliding finger tips that crawled across the bone of your collar, mischievous as they peeled the garment off your shoulder.

His nose trailed softly from where your collarbone ended, breath fanning your slowly heating skin. He reached the juncture, tongue painting a stripe that left in its wake, a wet band of saliva glistening on your goosebump plagued skin. You seemed to this point, unresponsive and unwilling to perceive his silent requests so instead, he lifted your chin to grant himself a better angle at ravaging your neck.

There was a nearly uncognized jerk as his sinful lips claimed a particularly stimulating area situated near the length of your neck. He gripped both your hands, encouraging them to remain fastened to his neck, but it seemed at every given moment they wanted to slip away. If your own command was not enough to keep them in place, he would make it your instinct to clutch onto him.

With this in mind, he tore away the other side of your blouse, dragging along with it, your dress until he could see glimpse the streak of a white corset, so tight it gave the sight of your compressed breasts a reputation of tantalizing. The valley of your bosom formed a tight line that disappeared into the hem of your chemise, teasing at the obscenities that lay beyond your undergarment.

Nipping and licking, sucking and tasting, the steep slope of your breasts quickly was defaced with red blots. He didn't see it as a foible however, to him his mark on your flesh was in every form and way, erotic and libidinous. It was his privilege and right to make his claim over your body and what better way to stake that than leaving his mark.

Your legs trembled beneath the skirts, he could detect the vibrations starting at your hips. From teasing your bosom alone, it seemed that you were being stimulated to an unbelievable extent. How splendid did he find your sensitivity, it would be something to certainly savor when he bedded you in the privacy of his chambers. Speaking of which...

His lips in a startling fashion, rammed and melded against yours. He was pleased with strangled moan that very apparently was unintentionally released. This sound alone proved that despite your indifference in the time that his carnal needs took over, that you'd still enjoyed it to some extent. And like he'd promised, your hands had begun clasping his neck until reality barrelled into you and you swiftly let go.

There was a heavy flushing present in your erotically haggard features, your updo had come loose and you altogether pulled at the pins that'd failed to do their job. Levi would have pounced upon you, tempted by the sight of your loose locks and dazed appearance but choose against it. His reason regarding his next plan.

He stood, opting in leaving the blanket and items for later recollection. His fingers brushed your skin once again as they fastened your buttons and arranged your ribbon to it's respective position wrapped around your lovely, clothed neck. When you yourself ascended to your feet, you stumbled over your own skirts, falling against your husband that caught you with all his pleasure.

Levi found it odd that not once, not even a bit, had you raised qualms when he'd gone beyond claiming your lips. When escaping his thoughts, there was a note taken of your lack of as you'd call it, 'modest distance'. You were leaned against him, head nuzzled in the crook of his neck. Had you had too much wine? You couldn't possibly be intoxicated by such a little amount. He had his doubts about whether you were such a laughable lightweight.

The man craned his neck to look behind, and upon the blanket, an empty bottle of wine laid in the frozen action of rolling. He wrapped an arm around your waist and caught your torso before you could billow back and snap your spine. "Oi," he called, doing so multiple times until your slowly blinking eyes settled on him, confused and ditzy, "did you drink all the wine?"

There was a false face of innocence as you closed your eyes after very, very slowly processing his words, instantly your brows pulled back, "Perhaps..." there was a light hiccup that he'd lie if he said wasn't endearing. Your arms dangled like the bob on a grandfather clock would, swinging and swaying with the sliverest of motion on your torso.

"Darling why would you do that?" He didn't give himself the opportunity to acknowledge that his gentle referral to you was done so subconsciously. You groaned a little, arms flopping across your chest as they miserably rubbed your upperarms.

"I'm cold..." you whined, voice still delicate and soft. His eyebrow twitched.

"Cold?" It was odd, bodies tended to heat up when a perturbing amount of alcohol entered their blood streams. However to expect anything less would be an insult to his knowledge, you could never anticipate the reaction someone unaccustomed to drinking would have. Besides, he was sure to the hundred percent that this was your first time drinking outside of the usual small sip of wine in your religious rituals during mass.

"Very." you mumbled, expression twisting painfully as your eyeballs rolled unhinged. Relief seeped from the breath released by you as he pulled you in closer, tucking you under his arm and rolling you into his coat.

"Come, let's go home" he said, lulling your feet to cooperate by moving forward gradually. There was a pleading whine that demanded his attention, your hunched head shaking stubbornly.

"I'd," hic, "much rather take a walk." He would have argued if it weren't for your wavering hand lifting barely to the height of his face, your finger which he supposed was meant to be pressed into his lips planted itself turbulently on his cheek. "Shh," you shushed, tapping your digit patronizingly, "Don't say anything, just take me for a walk"

"Bossy are we?" He smirked, one of his hands catching your tumbling hand and giving the back of your palm a chaste kiss. "Although only for a while, you're completely shitfaced and I rather you be in bed by the time you pass out."

You hummed agreeably, truthfully hardly acknowledging his words. All you could see in your haze was a beautiful terrain begging to be explored. Occassionally you'd make a funny sound, to which Levi clicked his tongue or made an unusual snorting sound aloud.

The pair of you found yourselves standing on the perimeter of a lake, rocky platform that you stood atop. You stared at the glimmering water radiant under the sun's warm blanket of light. There was an emptiness that flooded your eyes at the sight of water that Levi could not comprehend, so deep that it seemed if he were to speak, his words would spiral into the void of nothingness your aura had suddenly began protrude.

"Father would often take me to the ocean..." you mumbled unexpectedly and gently, tone flat with a single dimension that seemed to consist of misery. He could not find the words to respond and found that allowing you to speak would be best. His moral compass advised him to refrain from taking advantage of your intoxicated state, but he had hope that you'd reveal something in regards to your late attitude. "He... was... is nothing like Mother... cold... cold..." your key dropped an octave, " _cold_... Mother..." With this came a morbid feeling that crept up Levi's body, to hear his precious, lovely wife speak in a tongue so... cruel, made his very own crimson blood turn blue uncannily. You were in no state to be awake, he gripped your fingers, assertively intertwining them with his own.

Sternly, he said to you, "It's time we return. Our plans will be continued at another day." This time, no reluction to departing was shown, you obediently allowed him to lead you through the woods. The unsettling void countenance you wore left him plagued by unease. Whatever happened to you? To look like vacant shell, appearing a spitting image of him, barbaricly mangled his heart to despair.

He set you at the root of a trunk, the whinnying steeds a generous distance from you as he went to gather the things from your earlier rendezvous. There was gruffness to his stride, a huff of exasperation when he saw the empty bottle once again. "Why?" He called aloud, brows wringing in fraught. It wasn't like you to drink, even less to down an entire bottle; at yours and his wedding, the champagne you drank equated to the size of a morsel of food.

_The timing._

The timing, the moment you decided to act irrationally. It circled his mind, clawed at his sanity, wretched the composure from him. In the end, he hurled the bottle at the bark of an idle tree and groaned his frustrations. Why had you decided to get drunk when he was trying to please you? Was it in your intentions to have no recollections of the events? Were you so disgusted with the prospect of being intimate that you'd rather not experience it consciously?

 _Cheap tricks_ he thought miserably, he was not easy to ploy and at this moment, it seemed more like a curse than a blessing. How lovely it'd be to be oblivious, to be rused and live in the illusion that you retained the love you once claimed was undying; it was clear now that it wasn't. Returning to you, he found you dozed off, head lolling to the side with your hair shielding your features.

He took you in his arms, embraced you tightly and inhaled your scent, gazed at your slumbering form he cupped and in a state which left you vulnerably in his hold. The pain that engraved its sharp and jagged blades into his heart would have made him weep if he were to be the kind of man to be stirred at whatever aggravation arose to beset him.

Very obviously, he was not that type of male, he was the kind to unrelentingly persist when it mattered and was of convenience to him. He vowed to never let you go, and he'd stay true to his own words upon the name of his very own mother. Upon her very name too, he swore that he'd recapture your heart, willing to crush any complications or obstructions. No one, not anything, would steal your heart, mind, and soul away from him, not even yourself. They solely belonged to him, as his belonged to you.

~•~

It was oft that he overthought, but how could he not with the gnawing guilt. How could he not doubt your love for him when he'd committed an abomination of the most sinful degree. The seal of his deed sat dauntingly before him, his body shook with rage directed at himself. Regrets he had not any all but one, and that very one regarded what he'd done to you.

They always said that if in this life you didn't pay for your misdoings, then it'd be in the next. But it seemed very well likely that he was paying for his iniquities by having to witness you purge your love for him. It was easy to ignore his guilt when it was done earlier on, back when you still gave him affection, but as you grew colder and colder, distancing yourself, the despicable affront only gained more and more ground in his constant thoughts.

He had thought of telling you, seriously considered it, but you'd surely leave him-

No, he wouldn't allow you to leave, instead you'd hate him so much for him keeping you his prisoner you'd find a way surely to abscond life.

A startling knock that sounded like a stampede of elephants barrelled into his ears. He scowled deeply as Hange popped her head in, followed by Erwin. He'd met the sheepish pair a few meters after he began heading home and let them ride on the unoccupied horse since you were riding with him. His study had never felt so suffocating.

"How's your woman faring Levi?" Hange asked, genuinely concerned for your condition since the last time she saw you, you were asleep with a sickly, clammy appearance.

"She's resting, I've had some of the staff check on her in case she wakes up." He informed, "No doubt she'll have a fucking splitting ache in her head so I've asked them to have ginger tea on the ready"

"Good, good, you are quite the attentive husband" Erwin murmured, impressed his friend could have developed a relationship so strong he would go out of his way to devote a great deal of time to his significant other. They didn't mention neither Hange nor Erwin that they'd encountered the pair while they were busy indulging in one another. Essentially it was to preserve Levi in a tranquil mood since he seemed to be burrowed deep in self loathing particularly today. It made no sense since it appeared he was finally succeeding with his partner, but Levi would be moody, unpredictable Levi.

Levi didn't respond, for in the stead of wallowing in his misgivings, he pushed aside everything as best he could to concentrate on strategizing and planning for their latest case.

"We've had some of the troops patrol your land since that's the last place he's been seen" Hange mentioned, her finger circling the area of land that belonged to Levi on a map of the region. "However, no suspicious activity has been detected since you last told us"

"That's because the fucker is like a damn rat" he spat, fists constricting the plume he had in his hold.

Erwin added quickly, "Another young girl has gone missing in the Southern regions. The investigators who have taken charge of the case have admitted they have not found any traces that suggest he was involved"

"Who are the investigators?" Levi, in a tone eerily calm, inquired. There was a pause from Erwin.

"The king's personal guard," he said, tautness in Levi's jaw forming at his next words, "from the Electi Division."

"Those damn pigs." He seethed, "How are we completely sure they didn't cover for him? Everyone knows that those in that shitty divison are a bunch of corrupt, tyrannical assholes"

"But we can't tell them or anyone that, no one can" Hange reminded to which Levi puffed a breath. "They are quite creative when someone needs to be silenced"

"No shit" he muttered dejectedly, chin resting on his hand. Erwin only shrugged, feigned serenity on his expression. He was best at concealing his more aggravated feelings. He had yet to admit to his two friends of what he'd been plotting against the corrupt group, and it'd be a while before he admitted it, before he even admitted to himself how absolutely ecstatic he was about the current plan that only was but an idea at the current moment. "Erwin, what's our next move?"

"We wait" he ordered. "He's bound to show his face again at some point or do something that draws attention to himself" Erwin mentioned, understanding the oozing frustration from both his friends. Noone enjoyed the excruciating, fretful wait for the inevitable.

Hange in a poor attempt to uplift the mood, quipped, "That's right, you know he can't keep it in his pants."

Her words disregarded, Erwin firmly stated, "I want full surveillance of all the more raggedy brothels in the region. Keep your men with an eye on less reputable pubs." Levi and Hange nodded, the former already writing a formal command to ne sent out as soon as he could.

"And what about the girls?" The brunette inquired, to which Erwin promptly announced the information pertaining to the subject.

"I've already informed all wealthy men with daughters ages ten to twenty four to be on high alert" the blond said with underlying pride to his well prepared self. Struck by remembrance, he looked to the shortest in their trio, "Levi, make sure you are tracking activity on your more obscured terrains"

"Will do, Erwin" he reassured. "Anything else worth mentioning?" Levi peered at the blond who in his mind, recounted all his main points, being sure to have touched upon every subject worth discussing.

"I don't believe so, meeting adjourned" he announced, bee lining for the biscuits as Hange lingered around Levi's desk. After lounging for a cursory moment, there was a gentle jingle from the array of bells by the bookshelf.

Hange perked, "That's from your bedroom study Levi" she called. He removed the handkerchief draped over his eyes and brushed the hair from his face as he sat straight.

"Looks like she's up" Erwin sang as if it'd been a daunting possibility that'd just become true, dipping the treat into his tea.

"You! Don't touch my things" Levi sternly said to Hange who raised her arms in mock defense. He then accusingly directed a lone finger at the giant in the room, "And you! Don't drop crumbs." After shuffling the papers, which he loathed for what they meant, into his drawer locked with a key, he left the study.

Hange looked at Erwin, "What do you think he's hiding in that drawer where he put those papers away?"

"I don't know, we can expect a lot from our little friend," Erwin chuckled, "I mean look at him, he didn't tell us he was getting married; it seemed his staff was not even aware"

"Strange don't you think? He goes missing for almost a year and comes back wedded with a prim woman by his side" she said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "I find it uncharacteristic, especially since I thought he and Callisto had something going on"

"I believe her name is Colette, and I'm surprised you thought so" Erwin called, putting aside his tea momentarily. "I didn't know you were unaware of how Levi regards that woman"

Intrigued, Hange leaned in, "What does he think of her? Is there something really going on?"

"Not at all. Entirely like a sister." He mentioned voice weighed with a kind of pity for the poor woman. "Indeed, he told me so"

"Really, then? Nothing was ever admist between them?" Erwin shook his head to confirm the curious scientist. She had yet to diminish the intrigue on her features, she never thought she'd be so interested in the love affairs of her midget comrade. "Shall we continue to gossip of Levi?"

"I feel like the ladies at tea time" Erwin admitted, grimacing. "However to deny the indubital rivet of this topic would be a lie, let's carry on"

~•~

He met Petra in the hall just as she'd exited the chambers where you were in. Levi called out to her as she was closing the door, making her jump three feet in the air at his unexpected call. "Sorry to startle you, how is she?"

"That's alright sir, she looks very sick, I've left a bucket by her bedside and some necessities as well as her tea. She's currently trying to drink it" the talented chef reported. Levi thanked her and excused himself as he disappeared into the chambers. After carefully shutting the door to minimize sound, he strode to your bedside and glimpsed at you.

Likely the sweet, elderly maid had fastened your hair behind your ears and dressed you while unconscious. You'd fallen deeply into slumber whilst on the ride back so by the time you'd arrived, you were knocked cold. It served well too since you didn't have to feel uncomfortable as the maids bathed you.

The tender skin around your lost eyes was a little swollen, yet sunken as if you'd been getting a poor amount of sleep. The eggshell white was mostly red and with capillaries thick and bold nearly littering your entire eyeball. He had to grimace at your complexion that looked almost a grayish undertone as if the life had been suctioned from you. Lips dry and appearing thinner than what was their natural shape, he dared not kiss you in fear that you'd hurl in the moment.

Instead he laid a kiss on your forehead, stroking your hair, "How are you feeling?" There was a low grumble that ruptured from your chest, your gaze locked forward as you sipped the hot contents. "I'd say shit?" Your brows furrowed, the mere action seeming like it called for a staggering amount of energy to perform. Then there was a whine of agreement. He pondered telling you that he was nearly certain that you'd done that inanity of a folly to avoid being conscious while it happened. He couldn't however, Levi remembered his earlier guilt and felt like his complaint was not justified. No one would enjoy being by the side of someone so selfish. Besides, the mention of it would surely make you react negatively and what you needed now was to be at peace.

You mumbled something incoherent to which he leaned closer and asked for repetition,  after various attempts that'd very desolately resulted in failure, you finally managed to communicate to him, "Uuu... err... win... Huuu... ange?"

"Erwin and Hange?" You dropped your chin in a nod. "How are they?" You repeated your action, this time very slowly bringing your cup with strained hands to your lips. "We encountered them on the way back and they rode on Damsel."

"Good..." you mumbled, eyes shutting as you let the liquid descend into your body. Waiting for you to comsume the very last sip, he pulled the cup from your weak hands and situated the item upon the silver tray. After completing the menial task, he stepped away from you and fleetingly vanished into his study.

He came back with an envelope, your family crest proudly stamped in wax form on the flap. On its rear was your name written in the formal hand of your father. "A letter from your father arrived while we were out" he said, tapping your nose with the white, paper pocket.

Perking at the words, you glanced up far too quickly, hurting your neck and causing the room to begin spinning. You squeezed your eyes shut to regain somewhat of a composure and as best as you could express eagerness, patted the empty side of the bed. He took your invitation and plumped himself besides you, listening to your slurred request, "Read me it, please"

"Of course" he said, disregarding his hesitation when pulling your head gingerly to rest on his shoulder. His arm snaked behind you and coiled around your body, hand resting on the swell of your hip beneath the comforter. He began after tearing it open;

_Dearest Daughter_

_How I miss you, my little pearl. You could hardly fathom how lonely it is to pray, paint, and do everything without you. I still find myself heading to your room at night to give you your goodnight kiss but only provoke grief in me when I find your bed empty. My precious little girl, you don't know the extent of my love for you, I truly feel like a part of me has been wretched from me, and I believe it has._

_It is most selfish of me to say this, but I can't help but envy Levi now that he has you all to himself. Although I sincerely hope you are most blessed and happy in your marriage my dear, and it surely is a little extempore to say this in a letter, but listen to this dying old man's wish and give him some grandchildren to play with soon. You know I haven't much time, so I'd love to enjoy them for as much time as God grants me_

_I apologize if this letter is brief, but I'm quite busy at the moment. However any day you decide to visit, I'll be happy and absolutely willing to put everything aside to spend time with you. I hope to see you soon my beautiful girl_

_Sincerely and with all the love in our universe,_

Levi finished with your father's name. There was a soft smile on your lips when he glanced at you, wistfully gazing at the letter. Your eyes were set on the paragraph with his request and he had to resist the urge to present you with the topic of children. However it seemed his resolve wasn't too strong to begin with.

"I'm not entirely opposed to children" Levi blurted out, lips sealing tight after mentioning the prospect. He waited with bated breath for some kind of response but you only were quiet, no hums, grumbles, groans, or sighs, not a single slurring came from you.

There was a concealment in your emotions as you regarded your midsection with an intense stare, a hand of yours laid atop your lower stomach. He watched you curiously, his own hand on your hip yearning to touch yours that was a measly few centimeters from his.

He had expected you to remain silent and unmoving, so he was a sliver surprised when your raspy voice told him, "A child... would be nice."

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Had he misread your earlier intentions? Surely if you were disgusted with him and despised him you would never entertain the possibility of having a child with him.

Just what were your intentions, he felt frustration at your contradicting behavior. Could you perhaps still be influenced from the alcohol, or were you some kind of bipolar, sadist that derived pleasure from tormenting him with your constant mood changes.

Sweet and sour, mellow and spicy, kind and cruel, sane and mad, a saint and sinner; you were all these but unlike others who had a little bit of everything, it seemed you'd been heavily taxed with every one of those aspects, all with the pure purpose to conflict him. And God did he love you to a crazy number like three-thousand (tear) to be willing to put up with all your shifts in moods, mixed signals, and paradoxical personality.

"Hey," he said your name and you hummed in acknowledgement, "I'm adding a lock to the wine cellar and the alcohol cabinet"

You huffed a chuckle, "Please do so"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should add an obsession tag... 
> 
> Kudos to you if you got the reference 
> 
> And to those wondering, yes, Reader (y'all 🤠) decided to get drunk so suddenly to not remember. I stg it's not entirely for the reasons Levi suspects. 
> 
> 💜💜


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay but finals week is upon me and I've been studying for the past week! I hope you don't mind too much the quality of this chapter as I was literally sucked dry from inspiration because it was all used on my long essays for final assessments. 
> 
> So here, I hope you enjoy it!! 💜💜

It was a lovely Sunday morning to which you rose early for. Gone since the crack of dawn, Levi was having breakfast in the company of Hange and Erwin. He wondered how you'd snuck out of his embrace, tidied yourself for the day, and fled the room all without even rousing him.

Hange had noticed the lacking presence and swallowed her chunk of golden, toasty bread, "Hey Levi, where's the lucky lady?"

"That's right," Erwin said, arranging his utensils on either sides of his still full plate. "we've yet to see her all morning, is she still unwell?"

"I don't know, she got up very early," he said, "I didn't even realize she was gone until I woke up"

"But do you know where she is?" Hange inquired, countenance displaying concern for the feeble woman in question.

"I've been told she was last seen at the chapel down the road. She took an escort so she'll be fine" he said indifferently. Truthfully, he had awoken with a start at the void space in his arms, your abandoned side icy indicating that it'd been a good while since you left. The staff almost dealt with another search had it not been for the young Armin informing him that he'd been personally told by you that for the day, you were bound to the chapel.

"Who did she take?" Erwin asked, with no particular reason other than to carry on minimal conversation at the very least.

"Connie" Levi uttered, taking the steaming cup in his unorthodox manner and sipping his tea. He didn't think that bald, noodle-resembling kid could offer you much protection other than serving as a human shield, but Levi remained calm based upon the very true fact that Connie always carried a gun on him.

"What's she doing down there?" Erwin asked.

Levi entwined his arms across his broad chest, very vexedly sighing, "Probably to cleanse her soul or some spiritual shit like that; I saw this coming, given how strict she is with drinking. I don't think you've noticed, but her religion she takes very seriously."

"I've been to her old house before and you're absolutely right, there's at least three different holy texts, images, and artifacts on every wall!" Hange exclaimed, "They even have a small chapel in their back yard"

Erwin raised a brow, "It sounds like they're quite devoted." The three, being strangers to the practices of faith, felt the discussion foreign on their tongues. "But you could say most of society is like that, everyone leads devoted lives to their God"

"I think she'd be happier as a nun" Levj joked, but it sounded so deadpanned and serious that Hange took it as a truth. Pity exploded on her features as she dropped her napkin and with an astounding disregard to a sane semblance, cried out;

"Oh Levi! I'm so sorry to hear that! I can't imagine how disappointing that must be!" In her sympathetic exhibition, she offered him a piece of her bread, 'to make you feel better' she said.

Erwin undulated his head in his own disappointment, dissatisfaction with Hange's behavior, "I believe he was jesting us, and it'd hold some hilarity if you hadn't taken it so seriously"

Erwin was still bitter with what he had been made to endure due to indulging Hange's abnormal requests. He'd been curt and unwilling to directly speak with her unless it involved thinly veiled insults. To his dismay and frustrations, she seemed uncaring, taking his upset character as a laughing matter.

"Anyways," the brunette said, waving off the passive aggressiveness etched in Erwin's tone, "did you say she'd be out all day?"

"Likely" Levi answered, noting the tension in Erwin's visage. He had been cordial in the formal interactions during meetings, but it seemed that he'd done thorough contemplation about Hange. In Erwin's own words to Levi prior to breakfast, 'I realized as I was laying in bed recounting the day's events, that Hange uses me as her personal entertainment. I am much more than that, and I will not stand for it' to which Levi replied, 'The maids told me you two were dandily gossiping about my affairs, how come you're only just now getting mad?' At which he had the gall to sputter a gasp as if offended; he misread Erwin's defiant frown as instead of attempting to justify himself, he went on to indignantly inquire, 'how did the maids know?'

"Then that's perfect! We can plan a saucy set up, perhaps rose petaled bath? Just for the two of you, ladies love roses, imagine bathing in them with candle lights surrounding you two-"

"Isn't that a fire hazard?" Erwin asked, Levi shook his head.

Sternly stating, "No more plans." Levi huffed aloud, "Every time I decided to abide to your instruction, ended in disaster. She's evaded all of my advances"

Carelessly Hange excused, "Yes, that may so, however all but one!" Levi's brow twitched as realization dawned on every one of their faces. The one time his advances hadn't completely failed, was when he had been ravaging you in the woods. He would have demanded that how dare they violate his privacy if he weren't exhausted with the neverending cycle of confusion.

"Except she did. I don't know how the fuck she drank an entire bottle of wine without my noticing-"

"You looked quite enthralled worshipping her body" Hange cut in, silenced by a deadly glare.

"The point is," he sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose between two digits, "if my suspicions serve her intentions justice, she wanted to be unconscious"

"Why?" Hange whined the word out, eyes sneaking glances around them, assuring herself noone was listening but them three, "Is she you know..." she eyed Levi from where his body disappeared beneath the horizon of the table to his head, eyes flitting to his after her brief inspection, "not interested in you that way?"

Dejectedly he admitted, slumping into his seat, "I don't know..." he craved you so much, craved your warmness and touch, yearned to feel your love from the blazing heat of your skin and deep gaze. He groaned inaudibly, almost a whine as the transient image of your vulnerable, naked body writhing uncontrollably beneath him, begging for his touch, blessed his mind for a short, heavenly instant.

His lewd fantasy collapsed by Hange's head splitting voice screeching to him in desperate trial in gaining his attention, "Oii!! You still with us or what? Oii, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, oiii-"

"Just shut the fuck up" he harshly spat. Effectively, his phrase was enough to plunge the rest of breakfast into a soundless event. Hange wore a frown as Erwin smirked unnoticeably. Childish as it was, he found that Levi successfully berating her was utterly satisfactory. "I'll be in my personal study if anyone needs me" the man said with an edge to his tone that spoke volumes of his desire to remain alone. It also was conveyed how should the situation arise that he needed to be sought, it better be because someone important was dying, any other reason he said, was 'invalid'.

"Point made" Hange whistled after the heavy footfalls of the midget faded. "What do you think Erwin? Should we set up something for the both of them or-" Upon turning for input, she found herself isolated on the table. Erwin was gone too, leaving her alone to her own devices. There was an irritated huff, "I don't need you, Erwin, I'll make true my earlier promise" a delightedly perverse grin was shamelessly donned by Hange.

~•~

After collecting the delated documents from the main study, which he held close to his body in a secured folder where not one word of it could be glimpsed, he made way for his chambers. Upon stepping foot in the solitary bedroom, he stood in place with the door shut behind him.

Levi didn't understand himself what he was doing exactly standing around like an idiot, scrutinizing every cranny and nook of the vicinity. He folded your nightgown askew on a chair when taking notice of it, placing the soft garment within your bedside drawer. Apart from your night clothes, nothing else was out of place.

With your dearth presence, there careened a sense of desolation into his soul. A streak of fear struck him as he recalled lonelier days prior to when you had wedded. The sight before him, an empty room, haunted his mind, plagued it with the seed of an idea that this was his imminent future. A future without you, with only him and all his damned luxuries.

The reminder that'd his life would never again be so lonely was gripped dearly in his iron clasp of a fist. He'd done a thing so horrible, and still had the despicable gall to face you on a daily. But in this world, it was taking or losing, and he had taken you through utilizing the most utterly despicable of ways known to man.

He rummaged through your drawer once more, mindlessly taking a garment of yours and trailing into his personal study. The door he locked behind him, his intentions blurring from finishing work to wasting time and pondering.

He tried to finish paperwork, managed to get through a good chunk. However, the more he worked, the further his concentration drifted from what was laid before him, and the more his head pleaded for him to let up and rest awhile. Levi refused to cave into his body's begging, because in doing that, he'd surely be overrun by the immense guilt that at the current moment, was a low, threatening thump in the back of his mind.

What had you done to him? To allow himself to even think about loosing focus was astonishingly uncharacteristic of him. He heeded every thought about you, let himself be lost in the wonderful, soulful rings of yours that hid so many secrets. The scent of you was like a drug itself and as he closed the distance between the fabric of your garment and his nose, he breathed in deeply.

Subconsciously, he began leaning back into his leather chair, eye lids drifting and flickering as the white of his eyeball slowly was curtained by them. He hadn't much sleep most nights, but it was particularly the last where he hadn't recieved anything worthy of calling sleep from remaining alert to observe your weak, sickly condition.

It seemed that with the lulling effect of your heavenly scent and the exaggerated lack of rest, combined with remorse and thorough thinking, along with the stress of his latest case, he lost his sense of consciousness.

In the amber glow of the sun's light as it attempted to permeate the more opaque curtains, Levi sat peacefully with his eyes fluttered shut and the nightshirt you'd often use clutched to his chest. During his slumber, he dreamt of you and him, of the times when you'd coyly peck his cheek and turn in a flustered flurry. How you'd squeal and blush and claim how scandalous he was in touching your ankle. When you used to speak to him with wonder, and gazed upon him with a glimmer in your eyes.

The scenario of you both enjoying one another's presence as he sipped his tea and you played your instrument for him to hear. The passion laced in the melodies of the pieces you played he could easily trace back to the love you felt for him, and he couldn't ask for anything more fulfilling. Next he saw the pair of you both strolling dandy in the early morning when the park was isolated. How he snuck you behind a tree and claimed your lips over and over, you welcoming it and yet looking like the ever endearing shy thing you were.

.

.

.

It was a nice _dream_.

~•~

"Thank you for accompanying me Connie, you are excused from your duties for the day" you said kindly, smile stretching as his did too. Before he could take off, your sounds to keep his attention intact on you reached him swiftly, "I'd like it however, if before that, you put the horses away"

"Of course, ma'am and thank you for your generosity" he bowed lightly, grinning foolishly as he went to unbuckle the horses from the carriage. You made way for the estate dressed in plain clothing that did not belong to you but rather by Petra who'd lent them to you.

Tactically maneuvering through the odd staircase that led to the front door, you reached the very thing with a disregard for knocking, entering the foyer. The first person you saw rounding the corner at the peak of the staircase was Erwin who looked quite aloof. You scurried inside and lunged for the stairs as your echoing voice ricocheted off the walls, "Erwin! Erwin!" You called a third time but he was already facing you, polite smile in place.

"I see you've returned M'lady, how was your trip?" He asked, stealing your hand and giving its rear a chaste peck.

You pondered his words. Indeed the trip had been many things but most of all...

"Enlightening" you uttered. Smiling politely at the sight of his raised brows. "How has your day been?"

"I'd say like any other" he answered, helping you rise to the second floor. You thanked him in a fleeting statement before cutting the seemingly imminent and unwanted small talk.

"Do you know where my husband finds himself?" You had business to take care of, mainly because of what you'd been told at the church. Now you were guilt ridden by what they'd labeled your actions as.

"He is locked in his personal study, unless you have a key I don't believe you can access it," Erwin informed you, "and I don't believe he's taking in visitors." You heaved a breathless laugh at the silly naivety of Erwin.

"Nonsense, he will respond to me" you claimed confidently, assuredly smiling to the tall man that towered over yourself. "I'll see you then Erwin" and with cordial curtsy in response to his bow, you took off.

There was a curiosity present on your visage with an ear leaning into the door of the study. It seemed Erwin was correct but it didn't make it any less strange as he never bothered with locking the knob. You knocked experimentally for a third time, almost believing he wasn't in there but convinced otherwise by Erwin's words.

"Levi, it's I, are you busy?" You asked loudly, hoping that the heavy wood plank would not obstruct his hearing you. When no reply followed for what seemed like the umpteen trial, you decided that coaxing him to allow you inside was not an option.

Taking the key from your pocket, you shoved it into the keyhole and boldly turned it. With the poise of the wife of the region's wealthiest man, you entered the room. You didn't believe what you beheld as you waltzed in, a growing concerned frown in place.

Levi was asleep... midday. Your intention was to stroll over, inspect him and wake him, but from your peripheral vision, on the empty coffee table, you found it to not be so empty. There was a slight trembling in your hands as you glanced at it hesitantly. It resembled the folder for a series of documents you knew far too well.

It seemed to murmur to you, swaying you to approach it and you did. You stood still in the suffocating silence, a ringing in your ears that you knew not what to trace to. Was it blinding rage, desolate disconcolation, or maybe the shattering of your dignity? It perhaps was all of those with this grim reminder that sat despicably unbothered right before you.

With the quivering of a fearful inmate being put to death, your severe brief undulations almost made it impossible to even reach the folder, much less hold. But you did, and you held it, and loathed it oh so much. To torture yourself like this was pure idiocracy, you insulted yourself and yet, you dared grip the flap.

The tension sharpened when you steadily as you could manage, revealed the first sheet. Expecting to read unforgiving and despondent words, the thin stack fluttered from your hold at the sound of a small groan. Head swiveling, Levi had moved.

There was a swiftly exchanged glance between the documents and the slumbering man. You knew either option would torment you in some way, however, what convinced you to leave the folder unbothered was the mere sight of Levi, clutching tightly, your nightshirt.

With wrung eyebrows, you left the item of your misfortunes behind, positioning it as you'd found it and cautiously made way for Levi. He was leaned back, prominent jawline standing proudly, his tall nose piercing the air. Intrigued, your gaze traced his every feature;

From his wistful eyelashes that resembled the deep crescent shape of the moon, to his defined, high cheekbones and keen chin, they all worked together to form the image of a vulnerable Levi.

When you saw your very own hand reaching to his face, you did not halt it, neither did you revert to a frown when you felt the straining stretch from the corner of your lips as you gazed at his serene composure.

~•~

He was having the most wonderful of dreams. You both found yourselves within his study, adroit fingers drawing invisible lines across the landscape of his flesh. He knew this was a dream by your tenderly smiling lips and soft gaze. He was sure of it when a fluttering touch from your lips was felt on his own, followed by the ginger caresses on his hair.

Broken by your calling voice, his dream was ceased as he reacted to your incessant requests that'd begun in syllable shards,

"i..."

"evi..."

"...Levi!!" The tickle of your murmur on his ear roused him hardly enough to make out your following words. He grunted, feeling the weight of exhaustion all over his body. "You've a light fever, please... go lay in bed"

"Tch" he clicked his tongue, far too comfortable as he was even if his resting area was a chair.

"None of that," you scolded, "now hurry up, I'll send for some peppermint tea but understand that I absolutely can't carry you to bed." You were ushering him as best as you could, arm wrapping across his back and under his shoulder. He felt uncomfortably warm but it was a given if he had a fever.

Levi obliged when he heard your vain grunts, feeling the shaking of your limbs from barely being able to lift him two centimeters off his chair. There was a gasp for air when the pressure in your body was released after recieving help. He half walked, half dragged his feet to the door, keeping most of his weight on himself.

His muttered 'thanks' was well recieved as you patted his shoulder after you'd uncermoiniously dumped him on the bed. Making haste, you took a bucket to fill with frigid water, then quickly soaked a rag and disposed of it on his forehead. When the tea arrived, you thanked the footman, turned carefully and brought it to Levi.

There was quite a bit of shock present on his features from your consistent pampering him. You were for the fifth time already, fluffing the pillow that hoisted his feet when he roughly put his cup down. The way you swiveled swiftly to meet his eyes made him intrigued.

"Would you like another cup?" You asked attentively, not even halfway finished with what you were saying and already holding the pot spout over his cup. He pulled the item to him, dropping it on the bedside and taking the pot from your hands. In all this time, he felt the penetrating perplexed gaze of yours staring him down. When he turned to you, he guessed the look he was offering you didn't insinuate anything kind from him, "Have I done wrong?"

He shook his head gently, "No, not at all. Just... sit," he requested, coaxing you to your side of the bed and pulling you closer. The apprehensive tension never left your body even if he was in a state of weakness, that spoke volumes itself. And like always, in spite of the unspoken and unseen reluctance, you always obeyed. Levi tried not to let it bother him, went as far to convince himself by taking you by the waist and holding you close.

Your sweet voice still nagged him just as he was relaxing, "Do you feel comfortable? Should I get another pillow?"

"I'm fine, I have a fever from overworking not yellow fever" he mentioned with a soft groan and grimace as an internal pound within his head was felt. The quip he deemed not easing as the concern in you had yet to dissipate.

"Are you sure you are fine as you are? Do you need anything else?" Contemplating if he'd upset you with his next nonverbal response, he dove straight into your bosom, head tucked under your chin as your body went rigid... as expected.

"I need you to stay like this," he nearly whined, then as fleeting as that'd endearing tone he'd used came, it left. Replacing it was a direct command, "Stroke my head" 

Not surprisingly, you abided. He sighed in serenity against your chest, feeling the gentle smoothing of your palm. "You're not bothered by me wearing my day clothes?"

He hummed, incrementing the grip in his arms that encased you, truthfully raisimg no qualms. You were refined, excelled in etiquette, there was no way of you being anything close to filthy. "No, but these aren't really your clothes are they?"

His query gained him a merry chuckle from you, "No, how'd you know?" They didn't smell like you was his first point, followed by the fact that you never wore anything of the likes, no matter how simple you called your gowns, they always stood out one form or the other.

"I merely know..." he murmured, "you can't hide anything from me" he said, the statement relayed a little too ominous and possessive for either of your likings. He cursed himself because your sudden silence entailed you were startled. Quickly adjusting the topic of conversation, and in spite of this, he still felt reservation in you elicited by his odd, ill delivered quip, "I thought you'd spend the entire day there"

You didn't linger in the quietness, hopefully having picked up on his immediate doubt for the context of his statement and being merciful, "It was the plan, but the father exposed my subconscious intentions and told me to only return when it's not for obligation to my religious morals, but rather because I truly am regretful for what I've done and not because of the pending consequences."

"What are those pending consequences? You know I wouldn't do anything out of line-"

"Not with you, but with God. Those pending consequences are due to all my sins that I'll have to face on judgment day..."

As much as he adored listening to your song bird voice, even when rambling about what he already knew from mass visits (back when he first was capturing your heart), it became too dry and he was far too exhausted still that he lost complete consciousness halfway through your informative speech. He didn't slip away empty handed however as he stole a kiss from your exposed neck and lightly shook a his head from the jolt you gave.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Hange stay true to her word, what kind of scenario will follow with her unhinged antics? Will the hallway get saucy? Find out next chapter lol 
> 
> Aw, you care even if you insist on being a stubborn mule. Let Levi love you already and love him back dammit! 
> 
> Also, please pray for me, my brain is frail after frying it with hours studying. Finals officially begin tomorrow and weirdly enough, I understand the gravity of it all yet don't feel the pressure, is it just me? 
> 
> Have a safe and fun summer y'all (and if you live in a fookin dessert like me, good luck, stay cool, and drink lots of water) 💜💜


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get frisky between Reader and Levi, and a little weird bc of someone else.
> 
> It seems the initial anger and shock has diminished as you are finally acknowledging a much more complicated side to your feelings. 
> 
> But don't worry, you'll be ever the stubborn mule still. 
> 
> Heads up, lengthy chapter of 7k words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello fellow internet peers! I have returned from my unprecedented hiatus! (I've no excuse other than after school ended, I relaxed too much!)
> 
> !!! I'd like to let you all know that if I write pale to describe the reader, it is to elicit the image of sickly and not fair skinned. If hair length and styling was mentioned (i.e. long hair and ringlets or updos), that was to be in accordance to time period when noble women had long hair to style in ringlets and extravagant updos. !!!
> 
> I'm saying this bc someone in another amazing story misunderstood and became upset when the reader was described as looking pale (a.k.a not the complexion kind).

Gone was the deplorable fuzziness that Levi felt the prior day. It seemed he had woken up with a perfect condition and beaten the sun if the dark room was anything to go by.

 

Feeling comfortably warm, he squeezed tighter that which radiated the comforting heat and sighed against the slope of your breasts. In turn, a wistful exhale billowed through his fringe and kissed the flesh of his forehead. Your hands were limp, a wrist of yours splayed across and dangling from his neck as the other lazily was planted on his head; these were the remains of your position from stroking his head. 

 

When he further analyzed your condition, he had to wonder the tedious work put into reaching your current state. It seemed you'd managed to discard of everything, excluding your thin chemise while embraced by him. How you managed to do so and avoid rousing him from slumber was truly impressive given his reputation of being a ridiculously light sleeper. 

 

Reaching behind for your hand, he brought it to his eye level to inspect. His gaze languidly traced the ridges in your fingers, touched along the length of your nails and noticed the appreciable texture of your skin; his own digits drew invisible lines over the grooves sunken in your palm, eventually conducting your jutted knuckles to his waiting lips. Upon pressing a chaste kiss, he dragged your arm far behind him once more, effectively tugging your upper body to be flush against him. 

 

There were tight bumps that plagued almost all territory of exposed flesh and in seeing this, he draped the comforter over the pair of you until he could no longer feel on your arms the roughly obtruded hair as a result of the cold. He would not be returning to sleep any time soon, but he would raise no qualms given that he had this opportunity to enjoy you in a vulnerable, innocent state. 

 

He chose to refrain from bothering you with his minimal affections to avoid waking you, but he had to steal the occassional kiss from wherever his lips landed. You were far too tempting to him that abstaining from such actions was truly an impossible feat. 

 

With the strap of your chemise hooked on his finger, in order to avoid unraveling too much, Levi pulled the thin string of fabric until he revealed his mark still vividly present on the rise of your soft mound. Forcing his eyes to look away, knowing he'd likely commit something immoral if he wasn't robbed of the tantalizing sight of your plentiful assets, he reverted you to your prior state before his prying. Fixing the comforter so that this time, it covered all the way to your neck, he cuddled you into his arms and smoothed back your hair. 

 

He laid in silence with your comatose body gathered in his arms, eyes shut but mind alive and awake. He had much to think about such as the disastrous results of Hange's advice, your developing distance and coldness, and those damn papers in that uniformly dammed folder. And that wasn't even the beginning if he included the other aspects of his life like work. 

 

He had lands to oversee, a company to maintain, a case to solve, and possibly unwanted social events that surely he'd have to host or attend when the days for trade came about. The harrowing reality stomped any aspirations for a mellow mood, he found relief only in the fact that he still had you by his side. 

 

Within the span of his wallowing in self pity, from his place on the slope of your breasts, Levi sensed the low sound of your hum. When he flickered his eyes to your face, he had an urge to chuckle from the way your nose crinkled. The lids on your eyes clamped and wrung together as your lips thinned to a slender arch that reached towards your nose. Your gestures were endearing as you were roused from your slumbering state. 

 

He remained in the same position as you moved around to stretch, one arm securely looped on your waist with his hand at your hip whilst the other coiled around your back and cupped the rear of your head. There was a tickle on his legs when your toes wiggled, and only when you reached your arms above your head with a gentler hum, did he greet you, "Good morning"

 

After a brief pause where you took the liberty to yawn and blink your eyes awake, you looked down to him "Good morning, husband" 

 

"It's odd that you're up so early, did you have a nightmare?" You settled for a pensive countenance, bottom lip overlapping your upper one whilst it jutted out. He asked for conversation's sake. 

 

You squinted as if to recall a distant memory and in a swift shift in tone, said, "Yes... a scary little man was watching me, he looked positively terrifying! I had to wake up to escape his gaze. Although it seems I've fallen into the same nightmare I've just escaped." 

 

"Are you calling me ugly?" He quizzed, taking no real offense to your mischief laced words. Dripping from his was seriousness but you knew better then to believe he was upset, especially with how tranquil he looked. 

 

You huffed with an underlying smirk, "I'd do no such thing, but that's beside the point." An arched eyebrow of his silently inquired what your last phrase regarded. A hand of yours cupped his forehead, the pads of your fingers gingerly smoothing across the terrain of his face. Between inspecting him and keeping your strap on your shoulder, you asked, "How is your head? Has your fever retired?"

 

He nodded gently, lids hovering over his eyes as your relaxing touch made him melt into the bed. Levi murmured, "Yes, I woke up fine. Thank you for..." mulling over possible words to express his gratitude, he spoke them after pondering, "-for taking care of me." 

 

Your blank countenance resulted to beaming back at him sweetly, and upon laying eyes on you, his chest deflated as if the wind had knocked him breathless. He could only stare at your divine form, the morning sun bathing you in a sheer blanket of gold that made your skin appear almost radiant, and your smile, a sight so sweet his teeth were rotten as could be from a mere glimpse alone. "It was no troubling feat, you were very compliant and didn't ask for much" 

 

"I'm glad I didn't trouble you beyond what was necessary" he replied, his digits caressing circles into your clothed hip tenderly. 

 

"You could never trouble me" you lied through your clenched teeth, the falsity going unseen by a Levi currently careening through paradise. Stealing a kiss from your palm that had remained on his face, his sharp gaze captured your eyes. 

 

"I have a matter to speak with you about" he said suddenly with a sterness you could not trace its source to. The sheer edge made you feel as though you'd done wrong or perhaps... he'd make mention of the documents, but you couldn't be more relieved that either of those things were not the case. He said next, "You mentioned the day you drank all the wine, that you wouldn't mind children"

 

While the topic was thankfully not what you initially believed, you still were a bit taken aback for its mention. Regardless of your surprise, you proceeded to answer, "I did say that... but now I'm rethinking it"

 

His dishearten face and confusion riddled tone nearly succeeded in making you feel horrible as he muttered with a furrowed brow, "What?"

 

Gently patting his check, you sullenly nodded with a teasing pout, "I don't doubt your ability to properly educate a child, however I am not too convinced that children would take too keenly to your grumpy face" 

 

"You really believe that?" He uttered.  Despite your chaffing, he felt your statement held some truth. 

 

"At ease," you chuckled tiredly, "I don't actually believe it'd pose any problems" you softly said. "To be honest, I was terrified of you when we first met back at Merriweather, but you grew on to me and hopefully I've done the same to you." 

 

"No shit, otherwise I wouldn't have married you" he frowned as if you'd said something stupid, you had to agree somewhat. Levi wasn't one to go around marrying women for, how'd he put it, 'shits and giggles'. As you'd been told by a fellow military man you knew long ago, Levi was a Captain who deeply valued and cherished the lives of his comrades. That very man had jested that if Levi were ever to love someone, it'd probably result in too much love that would be beyond controllable; and so much that he'd go to limitless lengths to ensure to maintain it. 

 

How right he was. Levi had done a truly terrible thing to keep you besides him. At times, you felt more like a victim of his love than a partner or companion. A gentle tap on your cheek pulled you from your reverie and your gaze darted until reality set in and Levi asked, "Oi, are you still here?"

 

"Yes..." you mumbled, blinking away the old reminiscences of conversations that involved Levi. "I was merely lost within my own thoughts, my apologies" you uttered, wryly smiling. 

 

Gruffly grunting, he proceeded to dismiss your apologies, making his own thoughts heard, "I was thinking, would you like to have a child?" It was odd to see a face displaying loathe to the world request children. 

 

"I said it then and I'll say it now," firmly locking gazes with him, you said with certainty, "Children would be lovely... however, I'd like to add that maybe we wait... just until we have enjoyed our marriage life a little longer." This was the answer that would please him, this was the answer that gave you some comfort because you weren't entirely sure if this man, a scheming scoundrel that you felt something for despite it all, was someone you wanted as the father of your children. 

 

He was silent, likely thinking thoroughly your answer to him. Just as the nerves were biting their unnerving edge into your very soul, did he give you some peace, "I think it's a good idea"

 

"Indeed" you grinned, veneer casting shadows over your unresolved intentions. "Although it won't be too long a wait since I have an expiration date" 

 

"Tch, you can wait however long you'd like, I won't force you into anything" he told you and the irony almost made you sputter a laugh. After thanking him, the pair of you remained in silence laying peacefully. Levi stroked your body as you halfheartedly ran your fingers through his silky hair, the gentle wistful breaths mingling in the close proximity of your faces. 

 

Your breath hitched in response to his sudden grasping your cheeks, peering curiously at him as he smoothed his thumbs over your cheek bones. His other fingers buried into your hair past your jawline and coaxed your head to him until two lips met in a chaste kiss. You sighed and felt conflicted as his tongue greeted yours, engaging you in a languid dance full of unexpected twists and coils. You could only listen to the ragged short breaths that the two of you made, an occasional hum from Levi as he tangoed with your tongue.

 

"I'm aware I don't say it often," he breathed, breaking your kiss and running his lips all over your face. "But you should know," surely he felt your trembling beneath his sinful lips that glided down your jawline, then ran softly along the length of your neck. They settled on the highest peak of your clavicle, latching roughly to suckle on the area, in turn confessing, "I love you"

 

You knew he did and never needed to be verbally reminded in fact. As much as you hated to admit it, as much as you swore to your self that you'd murdered your love for him, you felt that insufferable reminder ringing in the depths of your heart. Faint but there, existing against your wishes. The dejection in your voice was unrestrained, you admitted, "...as do I"

 

~•~

 

Time was spent doing paperwork, signing and sealing letters with wax was the mundane routine on a Monday. Today marked a beautiful day however as the pest that Hange seemed to always deliberately act like and the annoying for particularly no reason Erwin were to depart at 7 sharp in the evening and no later. 

 

He knew you were with them since you'd left the shared quarters, spending a dandy time sipping tea and conversing trivialities. He had joined you for a brief moment before the vexing cry of his unfinished paperwork mercilessly yanked and bound him to his desk chair once more. 

 

Earlier, when Levi had entered his personal study, his jaw would have dropped if it wasn't so busy mumbling curses at the unacceptable sight before him. The folder was in plain view, shamelessly sitting on the surface of the coffee table where he'd left it the prior day. The very same day you'd entered his office to pull him to bed. 

 

With an astounding scrutiny, he inspected every angle and corner and paper within, feeling a cold sweat bleed from the pores on his back just at the thought of you spotting the damn thing. Nothing was out of place, nothing to indicate you'd gone through it, but nothing as well to indicate you hadn't pried the thing open. 

 

His nerves were more or less quelled when from the earlier interaction that had ensued between the pair of you. With nothing out of the ordinary, he made the safe assumption that you had not peaked at the papers. 

 

His most selfish decision that directly affected you was written in there and heavens was it a guilt inducing hell of its own to even bear being himself. The folder was swallowed in the depths of the safe beneath the floorboard that ran directly below his feet when he was seated on his leather chair. This guaranteed the possibility to spot it was below zero, and further down was the notion of you finding it. 

 

He was more calm now that it was tucked away in dark, unreachable depths where it belonged, just like the secret of it sinking further and further into the confines of the most obscured corner in his mind. 

 

Paperwork was child's play in stark contrast to carrying a most despicable sin. But he'd done what he'd done and there was no way to take it back. No matter how difficult it became to haul the chains of remorse, or how unpleasant the feeling of filth grew with every passing day, he knew that honesty was not an option... the truth would drive you away and drill a loathsome opinion of him into you. And he much preferred a life of physical torture than to live with the fact that you would spend every hour hating him. 

 

Unbeknownst to the man, you already were in the works of honing enough hatred towards him to last you a lifetime. That was farthest from your present thoughts however, as you'd been seconds ago, left speechless by Hange's abnormal, unorthodox phrase.

 

"It must be wonderful being in love!" You deemed it abnormal as you'd been discussing not even a minute ago, the quality of a certain brand's damask curtains. If astonishment was what you felt, you certainly did not reveal it. You managed to speak before your pause winded a smidge too long. 

 

"It certainly is a blessing" you uttered, gingerly sipping from the delicate rim of the cup. You wondered what she was getting at with her follow up.

 

"I assume you've both discussed the topics of children?" Your eyes narrowed in suspicion as hers gazed with innocent curiosity at you. However, you knew better than to assume that everything was what it was upon meeting the eye. 

 

Erwin spoke in a tone rallied by distaste, "Hange, you cannot be so forward."

 

"Oh come on now." The woman had whined, childishly if you may be so daring to acknowledge. She proceeded without caution, "It's no taboo subject in our society. It's perfectly normal to discuss children with newlywed couples." She leaned into you with a suggestive raise on her brow, "To secure an heir huh?" The flitting wink you nearly did not catch told a mischievous plan. Had Levi set her up to this to get information out of you? 

 

"It's been brought up, but not discussed in any significant detail." You informed with indifference. 

 

She prodded further in spite of your very obvious key to cut the conversation, "But do you want children?" 

 

"Of course" you replied honestly, hoping the admittance would suffice in quelling her undesirable prying. 

 

"So why haven't you told Levi?" It seemed it really was not sufficient. Your patience didn't thin often, but when speaking of such personal and compromising topics, you tended to mind far more than usual. 

 

You would never be rude to a guest, only assertive on their limits with you. Placing gently the cup onto its saucer, you straightened your back and with a leveled key, grinned and told the fib, "Because he's never asked." 

 

A merry guffaw exploded from Erwin who had been mostly quiet as you had mainly been entertaining the conversation with Hange. He cleared his throat and smiled funnily at the tight lipped Hange, "I think that should be enough indication that we should leave it at that."

 

"But-" Hange had begun with a futilely imploring key however she was cut off instantly. Erwin seemed to always swoop in gracefully when needed, you appreciated this aspect of him.

 

"The tea was wonderful, as were the snacks, send my regards to the chef, please" he graciously said, rising to his feet as you did as well. 

 

With a gentle bow, you took your hand and rested it above the other, both centered below your midsection as you said, "It was a pleasure and privilege to have you for tea, I will see you in the evening Erwin" 

 

"That's all I had to say, I will be going now if you don't mind" he said as he inspected his pocket watch. It snapped shut with a crisp click as he added one last thing, "I'll be with Levi if you need me" 

 

"Very well, I'll see you at your departure." You exchanged a final nod of politeness before he disappeared behind the balcony door. Your eyes lingered in the direction he'd taken for no particular reason other than to avoid eye contact with your other company. 

 

The effort was vain, she stole your attention instantly with a dubious request, "Will you come to my room with me?" You would have asked her reasoning, but she voiced what you were concerned with, "Come on, you wouldn't turn down a request from a guest now would you?"

 

Being the ever gracious hostess, you smiled albeit truthfully unwanting, "Of course, but may I inquire what it is we are to do when we reach there?" 

 

She took your hand rather roughly and began tugging you into the estate, "Just wait until we get there. It's a surprise" she winked, smiling devilishly. 

 

You stumbled over your skirts and kept a hand on the wall to keep yourself well grounded. You sounded uncertain when saying, "I must admit that I am not too fond of surprises"

 

She laughed at your words, making you feel as if you'd said something humorously stupid. "Don't worry," she began in between chuckles, "it's a good surprise that I think you'll like!" 

 

"I hope so..." you muttered beneath your breath, nearly wheezing from the vigor of your walk. You were not accustomed to rigorous physical activity, your current poor condition ensured that fact. 

 

When she pushed you into her chambers, you went immediately to sit and fan yourself to desperately cool yourself. Summer was yet to leave in spite of the incoming fall season and in this part of the estate, the stuffy heat permeated more easily. It felt suffocating, so much that you unbuttoned your collar and fastened your hair up. 

 

It was done so subtly so no notice would be taken, ladies had to preserve their composure and look proper always. You, after finally regaining semblance, asked, "We are in the privacy of your chamber, now I ask why you dragged me all the way here in this terrible heat?" 

 

Hange hummed, you watched curiously as her arms rummaged in a prominent case that had emerged from underneath her bed. You mostly saw garments being thrown, the clink signified a solid object was within. In her hands was exhibited a tall, opaque bottle with a label that you could only dream of seeing. "Do you know what this is?" She quizzed, wiggling her fingers on its surface. Her carefree nature with such a luxury in hands put you on edge.

 

"It _can't_ possibly be..." you said, brows raised as you went to confirm its authenticity. If it was the real thing, then surely it must've costed an impressive fortune. 

 

"It is!" She grinned excitedly, handing you the bottle that you held securely. She pulled two glasses from the cabinet pushed against the northern wall of the vicinity. You still were awestruck that the words she uttered did not process instantly, "It's a whole bottle of _Château Lafite_ "

 

Your eyes glanced at the item in question and then to its owner, mouth agape in a frozen gasp, "You mean to say this is a real bottle of _Château Lafite_? From the _Rothschilds_?" 

 

"Yes, and before you ask," she began, removing the cork rather swiftly, "they were a gift"

 

Baffled further from the plural, you exclaimed, "' _They_ '?" You were not too immersive in the world of drinking but you weren't so uncultured to be unaware of the vast field of luxuries. Be it furniture, clothing, trinkets, food, and so on, you knew only of the best and most expensive. Alcoholic beverages, though not a favorite pastime of yours, were no exception. 

 

Hange proceeded as if it were a usual thing to say, "Yes, I was gifted a whole crate, one of the owner is a closer friend and knows how much I appreciate wines" 

 

There was a dubiety you felt when she poured you a cup, the events from days prior being recounted. It was only midday and to drink already seemed strange. Primarily, you felt uncertain as never before had you done this for pure pleasure. Drinking you reserved only for when it was necessary in social events, but as the fragrant aroma wafted into your system, you felt like it was gently coaxing you to sip it. Your bottom lip jutted out in uncertainty, the silky red swiveling in an entrancing spiral nearly kept you from speaking, "I... I don't know if it's wise of me to drink at this hour. Especially considering the trouble I gave Levi the other day..." 

 

She hooked an arm around your neck roughly. This amount of contact naturally startled you since you were accustomed to far more reserved individuals. Although it was Hange you were dealing with. "But I'll be gone later! Come on, just enjoy this little pleasure in life."

 

"Levi now locks the wine cellar, and I think that was for a very good reason" you mumbled, pulling away. "I still don't think it's too prudent-"

 

"What's not prudent is for a hostess to deny the request of a guest!" Hange said, knowing exactly your need to maintain decorum would not let you turn her down without your pride being unscathed. "Try it, I am most certain you'll want another"

 

"That is my concern" you sternly said, however not entirely convinced that you didn't want to try it. She pushed the glass further into you, grin encouraging you. After a while of certain nods and her own satisfied expressions from drinking from her own glass, you uttered, "V-very well... however just one"

 

"Just one is all I ask for" Hange winked, eliciting a feeling in you that told you her intentions were deeper than just 'enjoying the pleasures in life'. You however, could not deny her for she held truth in her statement that you as a hostess, could not displease a guest. 

 

"Well, here is to nothing" you muttered, taking a sip and moaning in delight almost immediately. It slid down your throat, its rich flavor caressing every one of your taste buds and texture resembling smooth satin. You had to force yourself to stop the stream of it into your mouth before you drank it all in one gulp. "It's amazing" you murmured, at a loss to give an explanation that did its magnificent taste justice. 

 

"Mhm" Hange nodded vigorously, grin vast like the ocean with a genuine satisfaction present on her lively features. "I just absolutely adore this brand!"

 

"It certainly lives up to its reputation" you agreed, sipping from your glass cup eagerly, unable to conceal the look of content when savoring the beverage. Hange smiled back to you and finished her own cup in a matter of seconds, you followed suit. She poured you another glass but didn't refill her own. Understandably, you questioned this, "I believe you forgot to refill your own glass"

 

She swiveled her head to you as if surprised, "Hm!?" You jumped a bit at her exclaimed hum but nevertheless, listened to what she had to say. "I drink it all the time, I wouldn't want to get sick of it" she explained. You were convinced there was a secondary underlying reason that she was not telling aloud. It seemed she noticed the precariousness plaguing your delicate face. She leaned close to you, hand tugging on your elbow as she cautiously glanced around. And yes, she did so in spite of being in the privacy of her own room. 

 

"Hange, may I remind you that we are within your chambers and not any thin walled salon?" You quipped to which she playfully rolled her eyes and smirked slyly. 

 

"I'm giving this to you!" She said audibly under her breath, gesturing at the bottle that sat isolated on the table. Your eyes widen a sliver, "I already gave Levi a bottle but he doesn't have to know you own one"

 

Her mischief did not encourage you to go ahead and agree. Instead you were pricked by guilt and your morals and beliefs angrily shouted at you. "I'm sorry, but I mustn't do underhanded things to my husband" 

 

She wasn't defeated yet, "But it is not some terrible secret is it? I bet he hides secrets from you too!" A startling thump in your head made you buckle into a chair. 

 

"It is not a question of whether he keeps secrets from me or not... And I'm certain he doesn't," you lied, internally shaking from anger at the reminder but externally, a smile so sweet playing on your lips. "But if he does, I am absolutely sure it is nothing that could spark disappointment or resentment in me. On the other hand, he will surely be disappointed in me for going behind his back about something like this" 

 

"I see, if that's the case... then," she mulled over her words, you were thankful that she at least understood. "Keep it." You gawked in disbelief that even when going far out of your way to tell her why you shouldn't, that she'd still insist on underhanded methods- "If you choose to tell Levi, go right ahead but, this bottle doesn't move from here"

 

You were relieved that she wasn't pushing you any further, even if it contradicted her naturally pushy conduct. "That is absolutely fine," you nodded, "and if it really is that case, then I gracefully accept this gift. Thank you for your generosity"

 

"Don't mention it" she grinned. "What I would like you to mention though, is something Levi told me that has me concerned." You were a bit surprised that Levi would mention you in a conversation that could elicit feelings of concern. You prompted her to proceed, "He has told me that it seems you don't hold any interest in him..." she gestured at your body, " _physically_."

 

"Oh..." you hummed, admitting, "I'm sure you know I'm a prude." Hange nodded, "I have only been... refraining from, oh heavens what an odd conversation topic..." you felt a heat pool in your cheeks, body feeling the same flushed sensation. 

 

"Don't worry about it, I'm not someone who will look down on you for speaking about it" she said, smiling gently likely so as to convince you to speak. You were reminded earlier of the possible notion that she would report information back to Levi and treaded carefully. 

 

"I believe... no... I know I won't be able to satisfy him..." at the very least you weren't entirely lying. You went on, "I was never one to sneak out of my home at night and go down to the pub. The men I always spoke to were always in the presence of my father or other family members... except with Levi. I never kissed a man on the lips that wasn't Levi"

 

"Oh! You really are reserved then" Hange whistled. "See, Levi wasn't too convinced you denied him because you are shy. You should talk to him about it so you two can figure something out. Your inexperience shouldn't be what is keeping you apart"

 

"But he already knows." The earlier heat intensified, and you squirmed a little at the foreign sensation. It seemed today was filled with surprises because you unintentionally pictured Levi's bare chest. The image was promptly erased by your embarrassed self and you went on to speak hoarsely, "I-I... don't feel..." you stifled a groan with a swift palm covering your mouth, "...too good." 

 

"Dear me, you must have reacted badly to something in the wine then" Hange said, you couldn't even focus on her from ardour in your flesh. She helped you up, your weakness keeping you from protesting. "Rest a little, I'm sure you'll be fine."

 

"B-but what about," gulping audibly, your shaky voice inquired, "...what about the meal?" 

 

"Don't worry about it! I'll take care of it, just have some rest" she cooed, you however couldn't imagine sleeping with the ache in your body. It was unbearable, you desperately wanted to be relieved of what you were feeling. Too focused on evening your breathing, you failed to notice the click of the lock from her door. But you could care less when you did actually took note of the scientist's absence. 

 

~•~

 

"And we'll see each other at Zackley's ball next month correct?" Erwin asked Levi as they stood by the waiting carriages. 

 

The man in question nodded, "By then we should have a pretty good fucken lead on that piece of shit." He looked around, trying to be convinced that you were really only asleep as Hange had told him over lunch. "And pardon that my wife isn't here to see you both off, but she's-"

 

"Sleeping as I have already informed you" Hange finished, eager grin on her face that failed to ease Levi. He felt there was something admist, but could not pin it to what exactly. 

 

"That's alright, let her rest, she's had a couple of stressful days because of a _someone's_ _advice_ " said the blond bitterly. Levi agreed vocally to which Hange gapped as if offended and wounded. 

 

"Anyways, I'll see you two some other time, have a safe trip" Levi told the two who also said their goodbyes as they entered the carriage. He waited until the departing vehicle was shrouded in shrubbery of the forest. Turning on his heel, he headed up the walkway and greeted his childhood friend. She kept it swift and polite and he couldn't help but feel he might've been too harsh in telling her off the last time. 

 

But she had ultimately endangered your life and that he could not pass. She was lucky they were friends, otherwise she'd be on the streets begging for a job. After their interaction, Levi didn't pay her much mind, he was interested in finding you. 

 

He barked at Jean and Eren to get back to work as they bickered in the main hall, yelling at Mikasa to control her 'shitty brother'. The young girl only offered an unfazed stare and ripped Eren away from the scene. Jean cowered away shortly after a terrifying glare. 

 

Hange had relayed that you could be found in her room, naturally he searched there first. After getting ahold of the keys to the particular bedroom, he headed there. The hall was a soundless space and was softly illuminated by the lit candles, effectively providing a relaxing atmosphere. His only complaint was how hot it became on this side of the estate. 

 

When he reached the tall doors, he was ready to shove the key in, but paused when noticing the door was left ajar already. He figured you'd end up in his room at this hour, hence why he went to look there. Neither on his way to or in his room, did he find you. Levi was growing impatient with your scarce presence and decided to go ask around for you. 

 

He was one foot out the door when he heard the stumbling of someone. When he shifted to gain a better view of the hall, he took off in a sprint. Barely supporting yourself, you were clinging to the wall for dear life, face a red so deep he could have mistaken for blood. Upon reaching you, you fell into his arms, body dangling towards the ground.

 

There was an uncomfortable tremor, you were so out of breath you couldn't even begin to formulate coherent words. Your lips fell open as a long airy moan slipped out, feeling Levi so near made your temperature rise even worse than before. "What's happened to you?" He asked, to which you swallowed and kept trembling. 

 

Between gasps, you managed to sputter, " _P-please_..." He didn't comprehend what you were asking for, your hand clutching desperately his cravat did not give him the slightest clue either. 

 

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what you need" he stated, feeling your flushed skin scorching against his cool hands. There was a wispy moan of relief when his fingers brushed the sensitive side of your neck, this prompted you to lean further into his touch. 

 

His words you interpreted as inviting and in a haze of instinctive desire, you grabbed his collar and pushed the pair of you into the wall. Astounded by your aggressive demeanor, he raised his voice in hopes of reaching you, "Oi! What's wrong, have you gotten shitfaced again?" His attempts were in vain as you only chanted the word 'please' over and over like a holy mantra. 

 

You neither released him or showed signs of what you would do next. However, for an undisclosed reason, he couldn't help but believe you weren't experiencing any painful sensation; the strength of your shove supplied to the credibility of his conjecture. Finally after a long drag of air, you bumped your forehead against his and mumbled on his lips, "I need you... to make this feeling..." you had ceased the talk momentarily to puff out a whine, gasping, "go away"

 

He was truly at a loss and it seemed his confusion only hurled you into a frustrated fit. "What feeling? Does it hurt?" 

 

You nodded vigorously, your perplexing behavior doing him no favor either. "It hurts very much. I feel it all over my body" you hushedly whispered, pressing a desperate kiss to his lips. This was the last straw, you never instigated kisses. 

 

"Christfuck, what has gotten into you?" He held your face that had been eagerly diving to bus all the skin you could worship. There was a grimace that spread on your features when he pressed his body into yours. His cock had been twitching every time you made a sound, which he felt was wrong but abstaining had gone from steadily difficult to waging a war that could only end if he saw something compelling enough (maybe Sasha attempting to gobble down Connie's arm). Once he managed to achieve somewhat of semblance, he donned an accusatory tone, "Why now? Why are you being like this? Did you drink or eat something?" 

 

"Levi!" You whined, utterly ignoring his prior words. "Please, please, _please_ ," you implored, "make it go away. I can't stand this heat!" His eyes widened as you began unbuttoning your blouse, he only reacted until your sleeves had descended to your elbows. You whimpered softly when he roughly handled you, forcing your arms above your head and pining your wrists against the wall. 

 

"What are you playing at?" He asked lowly, voice brewing to the brim with suspicion. The spurt of sexual tension hardly fit with the daily reticent conduct you exhibited. He believed you to be in this state not because you willfully intended to be. "You deny all my other advances... and suddenly you're begging for me?"

 

"Oh Levi, please quell this searing heat in my flesh!" You cried, head undulating relentlessly, "I'll be good, I'll please you in _every_ aspect but _please_!" As your voice diminished and the pleas did so as well, he was thrown into a difficult battle of restraint when hearing your following words. Glistening lustful eyes gazed imploringly at him, lubricated lips agape just the slightest with a voice so enticing that he nearly lost control when you said, " _Touch me_ "

 

"Tch!" Clicking his tongue seemed to have implemented the idea that he was defeated as you arched your body into his and smiled through your panting.

 

"I know you want it too Levi, so please," you cooed, "do what you must to my body and satisfy this aching need." An eye lid of his spasmed by your shameless words, fighting the urge to give into his fast paced growing desire. When he raised his gaze to yours, looking past his fringe, he only plummeted deeper into the fierce battle for control in his body. 

 

Here you were presenting yourself 'willingly', but it was that very willingness that hindered him in taking you there. It was simply too out of place, too uncharacteristic. He would never believe you'd become a lecherous vixen when for all your life, you'd been a shy, prude lady. The change was far too sudden and concerning to disregard and simply give into the lust this 'act' spurred. 

 

However you were making it increasingly difficult to allow him to reason accordingly within his head. Your constant rubbing, moaning, and whining chipped languidly at his moral compass so much that he gripped your hips to keep you from coming into contact with his crotch. It was a grave mistake as your hands were now free.

 

You seized the opportunity his lack of good judgement had paved for you and locked your arms around his neck. He huffed as your lips explored the uncharted territory of his neck. Pushing against your shoulders did nothing, given that the force exerted into the action was meager; this was to prevent hurting you. "Have me Levi, please" you repeated your earlier mantra, palms smoothing down his back and sensually tracing their way up his spine until they settled for the fuzz of his undercut. 

 

He struggled to retain composure, but your wandering hands and wanton expression only effectively made him cloud good judgement with lust. A frustrated grumble rumbled from his chest as his body further melded into yours, your back feeling the painful press of the wall but not minding it. The friction was delicious but not sufficient to satisfy you. 

 

When he saw how your eyes rolled back to their sockets as a strangled moan left your lips, the dam that represented his self control broke and any inhibitions were abandoned. Initially cupping softly your face, he roughly turned it to him and spat out, "I'll give you what you want but you must tell me what you're up to"

 

An excessively angry groan was unleashed as you threw your head back and exposed your neck to him. After noting no signs of him making a move, you exclaimed, "I don't know but I found myself craving your touch since earlier! Please," you sighed out,  "help me..." 

 

He searched your tone for any follies but was only met with the inviting allure of your sex driven supplications. His fingers gently cradled your face and tugged it to his until your noses were a hair's width apart. Levi's thumbs wiped the inkling of tears that'd been welling up and making your eyes glossy. Your shuddering breath was a captivating sound itself as it eagerly blew against his lips. 

 

As his lips had chastely brushed yours, he asked, "Is this what you really want?" 

 

Followed by a whimper was your desperate whisper accompanied by a sure nod, "Yes, with every fiber of my being"

 

"I can't help but feel you're under the effect of something..." he inspected you, uttering, "but you don't smell like you've been drinking and you seem perfectly fine apart from your horniness." As he conducted one more scan of your body whilst ignoring your wailing and begging, he closed his eyes and took a moment to deeply ponder. 

 

Then, they snapped open to display the lust plaguing his gaze. The man clamped his hands on the rear of your thighs and shoved them up, belligerently parting your limbs apart. He posted them to wall on either side of you, leaving your feet to sway off the ground. When he shoved heedlessly his crotch into yours that evoked a cry from you, he swallowed the sound with his own lips that urgently locked with yours. 

 

Clustering in a heap of ruffles was your skirts that the man wordlessly hustled out of his way. The barriers of your drawers and his trousers kept him from impaling you with his length however that didn't limit him, opting to grind harshly against you so much that you'd begun singing cries of pleasure. He'd later have to apologize for wrenching your blouse from its buttons. 

 

You moaned in his ear, taking all you could of his head in your embrace and melding his face into the skin of your neck. The rigorous bouncing provoked by the untamed rams of his hips against yours reduced you both to shambles of short breaths and sweating bodies. 

 

The consecutive thuds when your back was mercilessly driven into the wall surely had raised some questions in the staff making rounds nearby. Surely it would be not long before someone arrived to the compromising scene. Levi cupped your buttocks, nails biting into the supple flesh through the fabric of your undergarment, pulling you from the wall as he savaged your mouth and carried you into the bedroom. 

 

He was hopeful that no one had witnessed you in such in a lascivious state, he wanted the sight for himself only. How wrong he was for believing he'd kept your endeavor to himself. 

 

-

 

At the end of the hall, watching as the Master of the house and his lady entered their chamber in a prurient dance of lust and passion, was none other than the haughty Colette. Her lips, ever frozen in the state of parted, wrenched into a deep scowl as absolute rancor fueled by her broken heart drenched her glare. She darted her moist eyes to the painting of her beloved, tracing whatever she could reach, flinch ensued upon the sound of an erotic, feminine cry followed by the headboard's thump. 

 

Her rage issued a significant tremor all throughout her vessel, grit teeth mitigated from the pressure when she  uttered, "It should be me in there..." Bearing the toll of heartbreak, she foolishly fed her hatred for the woman in Levi's arms when she approached the door and pressed her ear firmly to it. 

 

Her own mind lost in pain, shrouded by good judgment, tried the knob. She winced as it remained unbothered by her intruding hand. The brunette listened, chose to torture herself in madness. The lids of her eyes sealed them shut, limbs seeking herself to embrace as her body rocked forth and back, a fantasy created by her where she was the one being pleased by Levi. 

 

Where that woman did not exist in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you finally submitted to your dashing Lord? Tis' a mystery until the next chapter! 
> 
> Bye Erwin and Hange, we won't see you again until chapters to come 😞
> 
> Thank you to all for the continued support! You guys never fail to make my day a great one! 
> 
> See you next time 💜💜


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter! I hope 10 days wasn't too much of a wait.

Consciousness flooded into your body, eliciting a nearly violent jolt that immediately left you with the repercussion of dizziness. Unmatched by any of your other frenzied wakes, the speed you honed when you pointedly rose to sit hurled your mind further into a thick fog.

You cradled your head, rubbing your temples as you attempted futilely to recall what'd left you so... drained. When the telltale rattling of the doorknob resounded, you were alerted of the imminent presence that would enter the room. Left with no time to react, between the doorframe, light from the hall seeped in and slipping through was none other than your husband.

A prolonged stare ensued as gazes were exchanged silently, and only when he appeared to be struggling to stay on your eyes, did you realize the state you were in. There was a startled gasp you emitted at the realization that you were in the nude as Levi calmly leaned on the loveseat's armrest, sipping his tea in his personal, unique manner. Grasped in the clammy hold of your hands, the sheet formed a barrier between Levi's eyes and your bare torso.

You could not recall a single moment of the prior night, however your gut coaxed into your mind the idea that something had iduibitably ensued. The key in your voice was edged with a slight tremble as you released a shallow breath, head dropping as you quietly inquired, "Did we..." but you could not find the words to finish your question and frankly, you'd prefer not to.

The little evidence appeared compelling enough to you in your frail state. Naked in bed, something you'd never done before this moment, drained with absolutely no recollection of the night's events that had transpired.

"If you are referring to us engaging in sex," he paused, fully aware of your unease and yet still prolonging his reply, the sadist, "we did not" he said. The trembling halted at his confession, relief overwhelming you to the brim so much that you had to clutch your chest and steady your breathing.

"B-but then why...?" you stumbled over your words, gesturing at yourself, reminding him that you still were unaware of the circumstances which led you to this predicament, "I don't seem to recall yesterday after Hange offered me a drink..."

"Here, read this" he said shortly after rummaging through his pocket, slipping a parchment of paper into his fingers and handing it to you. You took the paper and held it dearly with both hands, perceiving a cool breeze on your now uncurtained bosom and stomach. Before you could reach once more to cover yourself, Levi had kindly draped the comforter over your shoulders and loosely fastened it to protect your modesty.

Aloof, he nodded dismissively to your brief thanks and studied you as you opened the flap, your eyes bulging out of their sockets, a flaring warmth deep under the skin of your cheeks.

What the letter read...

_Dear Levi,_

_I did promise I'd have your wife begging for you by the end of my visit and I'm afraid I had to take a bit of drastic measures to ensure that._

_I'm sure that by the time you read this, you two will have... you know... hehe_

"My, did she really incorporate her laughter..." you wryly uttered in disbelief.

Levi sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes, "Just keep reading." He cautioned promptly as well, "Brace yourself, it becomes worse." Morbidity dawned on your features as you imagined all sorts of possible things you could later regret reading. Nevertheless, your hesitation was merely a short lived hindrance and you proceeded.

_I'm sure you're wondering why she was so needy! I might've poured a bit too much of 'it' into the bottle of wine. 'It' being an aphrodisiac that I wasted a fortune on when I went on my trip to Peru!_

_You better be appreciative, this was a costly last resort since I was going to use that aphrodisiac to experiment on some specimens! I want a detailed report as to how she reacted, this was partly an experiment too!_

"The nerve..." you mumbled, upset. Apart from the discomfort that Hange's disregard for your feelings towards being her personal Guinea pig ignited, you also could not understand something. You wracked your mind in attempt to conjure an explanation, but alas, there seemed to be no worthwhile simplification.

Levi must've noticed the conflict running amok your visage as he quickly mentioned, "You look like you want to ask about something." You nodded halfheartedly, lips pressing into one another in hesitance. You could seriously offend him with what your doubts regarded. The bed dipped once Levi had taken a seat just at the foot of it. His hand gently grasped your ankle through the bedsheet and consolingly rubbed. "I won't mind if it's nothing too serious, just ask."

Caution was thrown to the wind after pondering your choices and quietly swallowing your reluctance, you said, "I don't understand... if you had me at your disposal, why didn't you go through with it?" Your gaze crept to his which intensely returned the favor, you were astounded that he snorted.

Then, he clutched your calf and devilishly smirked, you vaguely thought that kind of expression suited him, dare you admit it was attractive. Relishing in such a face did not last long with his following statements, "Why do you ask? Do you want me to do so now?"

You frowned, seriously saying, "Cease your teasing, please. You could've taken advantage of my drugged self and defended your actions on the grounds that you were unaware of my intoxication. Help me understand"

Upon saying this, the man shrugged, appearing unamused but honest, "Simply put, I realized you're not the kind of woman to throw herself at a man like some strumpet at the pub." Relieved, you nodded in understanding but still unnerved why you were naked. He noticed your prolonged stare at your body and must have derived from your action alone what it was that made you still looked troubled. He rubbed his nape, lips jutting towards his left cheek in a contemplative pout, "I admit that I indulged you for a while, but I left to my study after convincing myself that you actually were under some kind of influence. You were complaining about the heat so I assume you must've removed what was left of your clothing after I left."

"I see..." you mumbled, your eyes darting to his, "I'd like to apologize. Once I again, I've troubled you..." In actuality you didn't at all think the weight of the fault fell mostly upon your shoulders but your apology was more of a mere pleasantrie meant to sustain the cordial relationship between the pair of you.

"It's Hange's own shitty fault. She went too far this time" on that you could certainly agree though you had to wonder what he'd do in return for her over done 'favor'. You didn't last too long pondering all the possibilities, "I'm cutting her research funds"

You gasped lightly, tips of your fingers brushing upon your bottom lip hanging in abrupt shock, "Isn't that going too far?" He plagued you with a questioning stare to which you answered, "Isn't her research beneficial to humanity? I understand what she did was deceptive and insensitive, but her intentions were-"

"To get me to bed you," the man dryly droned. He looked to be edging on a cliff of vexation, "Regardless, she risked your health and, need I make mention of how you would have reacted had anything actually transpired? I'm certain you'd truly hate me then. I know our relationship has been severed and I don't understand why you refuse to keep to yourself, but everything I've done to this point is only because I..." he sighed defeatedly and rushed a hand through his hair, "love you"  he finished glumly.

You gapped at the magnificent predicament, if bothered you were earlier now you were absolutely livid, and not because of some libido boosting drug, but at the mere words that he had permitted to seep past his lips. But of course he had, because he was still clueless of your knowing his most selfish, fiendish deed.

You ran a mutter before you could halt it, "You dare claim your acts on the good name of love?" The words had spilled so carelessly, a dreadful ordeal truly.

Every action he performed seeming to follow instantly one after the other. First his head spun, then his eyes narrowed to suspicious slits with the intention to force the truth from you, then his lips wrung into a thin, bothered line, fists clenching, jaw tense-shoulders drawn back-body shifting to face yours-glare raking your dreading face-a blot of panic in his posture-

Sharply inhaled was the air you clearly wanted all for yourself as he reached towards the head of yours now burrowed deep between your pinched shoulders. " _What_..." his voice was absolutely menacing, a morbid sensation finding refuge in the pit of your stomach, "' _acts_ '?" Only mere moments prior you were greedily absorbing all the oxygen into your system but now you were holding it captive, letting nothing in or out as you held your breath tensely. He barked to you, making it apparent that his patience with this kind of unlikely topic was short lived, "Answer me," you felt the prickles of a chill from the frightening manner in which he called you by your full name, "why do you say that?"

You were frozen in place, wracking your mind to piece the situation that seemed currently like shambles in your mind. Somehow, tangled in between this mess you'd just created for yourself, you could realize the pebble of admiration for this man. His intuition was truly astounding if by a simple phrase he could discern and trace it back to his misgivings being discovered by who he least wanted. At least that's what you believed he was tying your words to.

"Oi, do you plan to sit there looking like you're constipated?" You don't know if it was the sudden spurt of rush from an idea or the truly offending remark that lacked any decorum that made you spring back into action.

"Firstly, your filthy mouth never fails to impress and disgust me" said you nonchalantly, pitiful effort to release some of the tension in the suffocating atmosphere. "Using it so freely in such serious conversations, do you've any idea what kind of image it reflects of you?"

"I don't care for outer appearances" he bluntly admitted, not to your surprise. He plowed further, "Now answer the question, what acts do you speak of?"

You deeply breathed, a moment gone by so painfully slow that your lungs felt like they'd relent to the pressure and burst. Confrontation, when it involved someone so scary appearing and powerful, never was within your limited fortes. It seemed though that quick thinking had been bestowed upon you, but you used it terribly too by veiling truths.

Your eyes had assuredly lurched in the span of an instant to his waiting eyes and your voice turned affirming. You lied.

"Levi... I know." Your hard stare instilled the idea that his suspicions were now solid facts, even more so by your perpetual words insisting on knowing what he feared most, "I know all about it Levi, I know exactly _who_ you are"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like the ball is finally rolling! Just a a heads up, the big confrontation doesn't necessarily mean we're near the end :))


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me

A tense silence overwhelms the pair of you, breaths evenly matched upon their heavy release, fierce glares clashing ruthlessly against one another. You can see for once, a true anxiousness ever present in his questionable expression. 

 

He looks uneasy, maybe even more than you. It's a disquieting moment, a moment that should have never ensued. You could trace all the fault to yourself for recklessly running your mouth seconds ago; seconds which truly felt more like an eternity what with all these silent exchanges of expressions.

 

The heaviness was so mercilessly weighing upon you so much that you felt it had drowned out sound itself. But you did not hear wrong when Levi, after licking his dry lips, uttered with a keen edge of fatal curiosity in his voice, "Who exactly am I to you?"

 

You retaliated with a wide eyed stare, your own tongue slowly running across your cushioned bottom lip and soon after caught by your teeth. With a quivering exhale, you replied, "You Levi Ackerman... are many things to me, but most of all, you..." Bearing the truth of his sin stole your breath and voice and you could not find it in yourself to speak fully truthfully. Hence, you lied to veil what you truly intended to convey with your earlier slip up. "You are a liar." 

 

The irony, the pot calling the kettle black. You nearly wheezed from internally laughing at the pitiful remains of your past virtous self. Try as he might, whatever dread he attempted to refrain from seeping into his outward appearance was prominently overshadowing the stoicism he strived to maintain. For a century he did not speak, and for another, his lips, although a sliver, hung and clamped shut unhinged. 

 

Then, even when you felt that it was still all too sudden, he spoke, "And why, pray tell, do you believe that?" He was playing quite well, never explicitly revealing any snippets of what likely was a rampant stampede of panic and excuses for his misgivings in his mind. Applauding his unrelenting efforts to maintain his despicable secret by pretending to be ignorant to what you truly meant, you decided you'd winded this far too long. For starters, it was wonderful you knew another of his secrets, this way, you could justify your bold claim of him.

 

You had toned down on your bulging eyeballs and had reduced yourself to the state of calamity... well, as much calm as you could possibly display on your face. With a firm, confidence laced key, yet bitter, you revealed, "Because you've lied to me since the beginning, and don't you dare pretend you aren't aware of what I speak of." You utilized the honed anger reserved for his terrible deception to make yourself sound truly convincing.

 

He clenched his teeth, fingers tight on the tea cup he'd plucked into his hold only minutes ago. Donning what you could only describe as desperate determination, Levi swung an arm forward, fisted palm slicing through the air to come back to an abrupt halt on his chest. You heard the thud of the impact on his pectoral, his jaw relieved from the rigidity it had priorly been confined to until he hastily spoke, "It isn't how it seems. I did it all in hopes of ensuring you'd remain by my side" 

 

"There is no excuse for lying!" You retorted, parchment discarded haphazardly onto the bed as you threw your body forward, elbows locked with your hands flat on the mattress. You grit your teeth, barking at the face that stood centimeters from yours and engaging his narrowed stare with your own creased eyes, "I thought I married an honest man but it seems I've made a grave _mistake_!" 

 

Your spat words failed to deter him in pursuing your understanding, because in spite of your blood boiling insult, he went on to say, "You don't understand, if I didn't commit such a thing, we would not be able to be together" 

 

"You try to justify yourself again on the grounds of purely loving me? The absolute audacity!" You cried, nose crinkling against his. Even when you tried to pull away, as this was all becoming too real, you could not. You were fastened to the spot by a tight clamp on your arm, a bruising hold on your upperarms. You released a muffled sound of protest as he shoved your face into his chest, your naked torso rammed into his as a hand sought your messy tendrils, the other pushing the small of your back into him. 

 

You futily struggled. Wedged between his taut body and arms, you could have no hope to escape. He took full advantage and spoke directly into your ear, "No, damn it! I just... fuck!" The absolute desperation his words held could have convinced any foolish girl but not you, you would make him suffer to compensate for even just a fragment of all the pain and suffering you had been made to endure. 

 

"Levi," you warily warned, "unhand me, you brute." As expected, Levi did not comply and seemed to take your meager warning tone as the initiative to crush you further into his embrace. 

 

"I won't! I won't until you hear my shitty reasoning for what I've done!" He still firmly believed you were confronting him about his filthy act of selfishness, and you would wait a few more instances before you decided to cease this very obvious torture to him. "Just for once... I wanted a constant in my life, someone I could... shit, how do I say this...?" If he had any free hands, Levi would be scratching his head as he wreaked havoc in his mind for the words that would best convey his thoughts and feelings. He proceeded clumsily, never one to be adept in the skill of conversing, "I know I shouldn't have done this to you, I understand the gravity of my actions. I know fully well how fucken despicable it was of me to-"

 

"To lie to me for shallow reasons!" You interjected swiftly before he could willingly reveal his evil doing. You seethed through your teeth, "Levi, I don't understand why you had to keep to yourself the kind of upbringing you had!" 

 

Immediately, what he was about to utter crumbled apart and his taut arms went slightly lax. He looked positively disturbed and perplexed, face littered with emotions you never believed you'd see on his usual stoic features. You could hear from the scant proximity, his nearly inaudible mumble, "Up...bringing?" 

 

You shoved him away, curling into the comforter and gaining the appearance of a human wrapped in a well stuffed dumpling. He still gave the appearance of an incredibly and utterly baffled individual but you paid it no mind. "Absolutely! What did you intend to do when keeping to yourself that you were a poor hind!?" 

 

"You're not speaking about...?" The clouding perplexion soon cleared after he seemed to grasp the situation, he also grasped your shoulders once again and looked down into your eyes heatedly. "Who revealed that to you?" He demanded to know, tea cup long abandoned with a violent clink on the bedside table. 

 

You scowled, "Does it matter? The fact is, I am aware that you were once as poor as any other countryman here and not once did you think to be honest with me about it!" 

 

"I could absolutely not reveal that part of myself if I wanted you to be with me-" he abruptly stopped as he held your wrist that had been grasped halfway on its journey to harshly assaulting his cheek with a slap. You did not allow him to continue explaining. 

 

"If I am not some strumpet at the pub to you, then do you consider me a spoiled brat who believes that a human's quality is equivalent to that of the materialistic?" Regardless of how unbothered you were by the fact that he had been poor before, you could not deny the curiosity of why he had kept it to himself. "Did you honestly believe your background would matter to me? So much that I would've never considered you a suitor?" 

 

"That's not what I meant!" He nearly yelled, very efficient in silencing you. Your glowering eyes demanded an answer and he was quick in working one out verbally. "I kept it to myself not because I feel ashamed of my upbringing, if anyone is bothered by it then they can go fuck themselves. But the fact of the matter is, I did not mention it to you out of fear"

 

"Fear?" You repeated, contorting an expression that hopefully exhibited all your perplexion. What could possibly scare him into silence? Levi seemed so fearless and strong it was hard to recall he was human sometimes, with weaknesses and fears, and dreams and aspirations alike with duties and responsibilities. However, you could think of only one person with the scheming capacity to frighten someone into silence and that was none other than-

 

"Your mother..." he uttered. Of course! Who else had that magnificently terrifying skill to excavate someone's worst fear and use it against them to manipulate them to her own will? You began pitying him, for your mother truly was no laughing matter. A fearsome foe even with that scrawny body of hers. "She made mention of a previous affair you'd had with a bakery boy..." 

 

There was a bite of jealousy to his voice in mentioning that long ago relationship. Remembering made you flush a little in embarrassment that he was actually aware of your fleeting adolescent romance. "What did she say?" You murmured, interest piqued. 

 

"I hate unnecessary deaths, especially of those who are least deserving of being robbed of their lives..." you didn't quite comprehend how his statement tied to him keeping his poverty stricken childhood from you. That was until he further elaborated. "Your mother made it very apparent that your father would not be able to receive such a shock. Initially I didn't believe he'd be the type to dislike a suitor for you based on low income and status, but it seemed I was wrong"

 

"You aren't!" You cried, "Father is not like that! He would never stand in the way of my happiness because of something so shallow like an upbringing or economic state!" You were fierce, full of passion as you defended your father with bared teeth, a deadly look in your usually well collected and cool eyes.

 

"But your mother told me," he said, rubbing his chin as though recalling, "she said that when your father found out about your relationship, that his already frail heart took a devastating, near fatal blow" 

 

"Why that couldn't be farther from the truth!" Oh that woman, how she loved to test you! One day, simply one day, all her lies, all her falsities, everything she built up, her empire laying upon the foundation of deceptions would crumble into her willowy body wrapped in the finest of clothes. And you would be watching, in triumph, in happiness, in liberation. You clutched his face between your palms, exclaiming, "She's lied to you Levi, my father had given me and-"

 

"Edward" he finished for you bitterly.

 

You nodded, "yes him, his blessing." He looked disturbed as you said this, but granted, as your husband he had the right to be when listening to how you almost married someone else. "He didn't suffer from finding out, in fact, my relationship to that boy was never a secret! I had always been upfront and honest to both my parents. It was my mother who didn't approve because even if Edward was an absolute gentleman, the poor boy had no money in his pockets to spare" 

 

"I see..." he mumbled thoughtfully. When he glanced at you with his face still crammed between your palms, you sighed at the endearing sight before quickly reverting to your attentive state, "She had warned your father would not be able to be dealt with another blow like that as it would be truly mortal this time. She went on to prohibit my mentioning it to you because she insisted you would tell your father and that'd be the last thing he'd hear. Her insistence and desperation were reasons why I caved" 

 

Slack jawed was the condition you remained in solidly for at least half a minute. You really did feel sorry for him, to live with the fear that a life could potentially be stolen simply from his admittance must have been overbearing and difficult. You suddenly had rammed any anger from his evil deed aside and leaned into the armada of pillows behind you, your forearm settling over your screwed tightly eyes. You groaned a little, even to your worst enemy, who happened to be sitting in front of you and watching your form intently, you did not wish to be dragged into the web of lies your scoundrel mother produced. The sound of your voice was almost sheepish, shame riddled and combined with pity, "I am sincerely sorry that you've had to bear such a frightening threat, but I hope it will ease you now that you know my father won't ever react so severely to your upbringing" 

 

 _It would kill him if he knew what you'd done to me_ Levi you reminded yourself glumly. After all, what your dearest husband did not only defied all principles your father relentlessly practiced and preached, but it also reaped your dignity. 

 

The very man stroked your cheek so gently, so gingerly you would have easily melted into the touch if you weren't so bothered by all these outside factors. The fact is, you felt you would never feel right when touched by your husband so long as the existence of his sin held a blade deeply engraved between your relationship. It was times like these you wished you had never found out, how easy life would be if you were blissfully ignorant. 

 

Even now, as you reluctantly supported the touch of a deceitful man, you could feel all the hatred you'd steadily built waver a single smidge, but, not sufficient to dissuade it all. He spoke to you tenderly in a tone you found was reserved only for you, "You've done nothing wrong, it's your shitty witch of a mother."

 

"See that's where you are wrong" you mumbled. "I shouldn't have assumed things prematurely, it's just... the worse was always assumed of myself when I mingled with others who did not have the luck I had. 'Pampered princess' they claimed, 'cares about her dresses more than feeding the unfortunate'." You laughed a little after mulling your words, seeming to catch Levi off guard. He looked puzzled, you couldn't blame him. You explained languidly, "It's just, I find it humorous that I abhorred presumptions of me... I still do. However, I have done to you the same thing that was done to me all those years ago... such a lowly hypocrite I've become" 

 

"Shh" he cooed, streaking your cheekbones with your salted tears. You don't know when you began to shed them, but you felt quite embarrassed to be seen like so. Hastily, the heels of your palms wiped the remains of moisture around your eyes and glanced up at Levi who very obviously seemed a bit troubled (it was expected, the man wasn't too resourceful when it came to soothing tears). He was gazing at you, his very eyes almost like a blissful caress on your skin. He went on to tell you, "I don't mind, I make and have made assumptions myself, some of them which have led me to make some terrible choices..." he scoffed, you guessed he was speaking of his terrible deed. "The thing is, I won't ever judge you, so don't hesitate to speak your mind if you are carrying a burden."

 

Your breath hitched as he finished, his palm cupping the cheek you'd allowed to collapse into his hold. You mumbled a grateful 'thank you', eyes downcast. 

 

_Not judge me, hm? It is far too great a pity I cannot say the same to you_

 

Admitting you'd committed a mistake was simple, you accepted and you now could strive to improve that flaw of presuming things. However, you could not deny that what Levi had done was far from a modest mistake. His following statement only stoked that truth further. 

 

"It's sometimes that you can't allow one mistake to define your opinion of someone. Although recently you've been acting strange, I'm sure you're still the refined, nice lady I met all that time ago... brat" his last spout left you flabbergasted and demanding for an explanation as to why referring to you as such was necessary. You caught the roll of his eyes and felt insulted from such a rude gesture, "It's only fair," he defended, "you did act like a brat minutes ago"

 

"In that case!" You stabbed his shoulder with your finger, frowning deeply, "As much as it pains me to say this due to understanding its infuriatingly childish nature, you too, are a 'brat'" you firmly declared, looking quite pleased as his eyebrows crinkled. Call it shock, disbelief, annoyance, whatever you may. 

 

"Tch, now why am I a brat? It was your prejudice that assumed the worst of me for keeping my upbringing from you" you wriggled as you felt his weight slowly topple over you. As you began to protest, he explained into your ear, "You've dealt me a deadly blow, the wound is far too deep" he muttered your name. He was 'struggling' to get the words out, "I... cannot... keep up... any longer..." Just then he released what you assumed was most of his weight on you with a groan, your chest heaving from the pressure.

 

His jestful antics would have been pleasing if it were not the pending crushing you'd receive from his descending body. He chuckled as you whined lowly and wheezed, "I don't mean to be rude but you are quite heavy," you said quickly. Then, with a more stern tone, you demanded, "Arise, please. I can't..." you sucked in air, "breath!" 

 

After torturing you a while longer, Levi finally rolled onto his side to relieve you of your 'punishment', facing you with his stoic expression. You wouldn't believe that seconds ago, he had been acting mischievous and coy, now donning his typical serious visage. After gasping for a couple solid minutes, you amassed the energy to shift your bed-hair ridden head and came face to face with your husband. 

 

He was just staring, nothing unorthodox, however this time it seemed there was a glint of desire. It appeared Levi wanted to say something, but was currently thoroughly contemplating if to say or not say. 

 

You waited until impatience nipped at you, "What is it?" You could sense the discomfort and awkwardness in his gaze as it slowly dropped. He wasn't staring at your bare body, partially because of the sheets, but it seemed his mind was still drifting in thoughts.  You went on to say, "I found it strange..." 

 

He flickered his eyes to you, brows knitting merely a shy sliver. Of course he inquired what you meant with your statement. "What is?" 

 

"How easily you were convinced by my mother" you confessed. It truly didn't add up, as spiteful and cunning, even dangerous, as your dearest mother could be, there was no way her poisonous fangs could have so 'easily' sank into Levi. He was just too observant, keen, untrusting. Your husband by the very definition was the embodiment of a skeptic.  He seemed to be well aware of your knowing of that particular aspect of his. "It wasn't just the threat of my father's death, was it?" 

 

He shook his head, "I've kept enough from you," he winced barely enough for you to notice upon his utterance. "Don't ever say a word to anyone about this"

 

"I won't" you promised, hopeful to ease him into smoothly conversing. He was pensive, pondering, unsure. You watched your hand in awe as it gravitated to his form, gently landing atop his cheek like a butterfly. "I'm here to listen" you smiled as reassuringly as you could. 

 

It was just enough for he proceeded carefully, "The day I met you, I saw immediately how lavish a life you lived. Everything you touched had a rich background to it, from the furniture to the very floors in your home."

 

"Hah... my mother takes kindly only to expensive, fine decor" you added to fill in for the silence he created. 

 

A troubled look fell upon him as his face leaned into your caressing touch, "I came to know that there was a very strict line of rules set of who could even hope to become a suitor."

 

You grinned sheepishly, inwardly weeping from embarrassment. You went on to defend yourself, "I hope you know my mother is the picky one, not I." The gruelling requirements just to be considered a suitor for you, that woman was impossible.

 

She would always say, 'You are the best, therefore you deserve the best amongst the best' 

 

Meaning even within the public elite, those who favored your hand would need more than just a good title and money to their names. Speaking of which, if you weren't aware of his underhanded methods to get you, you would be utterly befuddled as to how he'd managed to surpass all the hurdles and become your husband, much less convince your mother. 

 

He seemed to break all the rules with his character. Crassness over elegance, grumpiness over poise, reserved rather than charismatic, he was too far off the mark to even hope consideration. That was likely why he chose to go about things wrongly you supposed... 

 

Either way, it didn't make it right. 

 

He broke you away from your thoughts with his unsure voice, "I didn't think you'd like someone like me, especially if you knew about me not being born legitimately into a rich ass family"

 

That brought a hearty laugh to rumble from your chest. You lightly shook your head and sighed, "You were a welcomed change of pace Levi. You were rude, said odd things often, drawled the silences for too long, and even used a disgusting tongue with me," he frowned as you listed all the behaviors that contradicted the strict expectations for a suitor, it wasn't until you were straining to figure something else he'd done 'incorrectly' that you paused. "Regardless, the fact was and is that I fell in love with you because you were honest... about who you were" you added hastily.

 

In this you were not lying, speaking freely and truthfully. You undeniably had been hostile at first when he suddenly gained the favor of your mother, but you found his personality refreshing and enjoyable, so much that you fell in love with him eventually. After all this time after discovering his deed, you couldn't quite tell if you had fallen out. At times it felt like you had, but then he'd do noble things that made it difficult to truly hate him.

 

You just wanted semblance, peace amongst all the ringing bells of flaring anger and bitterness. And despite this desire, it was to your understanding that there was a kindling need to keep the bells ringing, keep the harsh tolling sounds pounding against your ears. 

 

The train of thought that possessed you was ripped away once more as you focused on the man who's face was in laughable proximity to yours. Quietly you uttered, "If I may be so bold, I'd like to ask that you tell me all about you growing up"

 

"I don't see how that would be an intriguing conversation" he mumbled, wedging his chin between his thumb and index. "You won't be able to relate to much anyways..."

 

"Oh, I'm sure I will" you smiled slyly. Even after all these years, your past life always managed to wriggle into your memories. It was shortlived and you didn't have much recollections, granted you were five at the time after all... Either way, you assumed it was well overdue.

 

It was time to tell Levi your big family secret. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get your revelation soon, maybe you already figured it out??? Levi says whoever cares about his upbringing can fuck themselves but he actually felt insecure at some point when it came to Reader. 
> 
> You don't have to read the bottom note! 
> 
> See you next chapter 💜💜
> 
> Bottom Note:
> 
> Unrelated but....
> 
> Would anyone be interested in a story about Levi and a meztisa!Reader(mixed indigenous and caucasian). It'd just be something short and cute. Levi being a European man traveling overseas to explore the territory the Spanish have conquered and meeting Reader. I know it's unorthodox to have something specific like race involved in a reader insert but this fic will take place in Mexico territory in a specific time period. I just wanna know if anyone's up for reading it, I'll have the first chapter up maybe in 2-3 weeks(or sooner) after I finish the skeleton of the plot!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a ton of dialogue that you likely already predicted the contents of

You smiled gently. "While I'm certain that the similarities are less than scarce, the story of a humble beginning we share. I must admit that there is something my family has been very tight lipped about..."

"What are _you_ not telling me?" He asked suspiciously to which you responded with a leisurely shrug. He scrutinized your movements as you sat up and submerged yourself in a nightgown within the bedside drawer, only flopping on your back ungracefully once more.

"It's nothing too impactful." You assured, he still did not quite looked eased but your words seemed to have done plenty to keep at bay any negative thoughts pertaining to your sudden relevation. "I understand you are well aware of my upbringing"

"Yes" he nodded curtly, eager to comprehend what you were moments away from saying. Levi captured your gaze and held it captive, and he would intend to keep it as so until you spoke.

"I know it's sudden, but if we will be talking about your childhood, then I suppose it's only fair I tell you about mine, completely." As you gazed at him, you pondered on whether being direct and straight to the point or beating around the bush. There really was no reason for the latter, he'd probably sit here all day. "The reason I never told you, wasn't because I felt the need to for shallow reasons, like I believed you had." Counting the amount of stubbles on his eyebrows, you continued with a sigh, "It's a well known fact that my parents could no longer conceive after my mother gave birth to my brother."

He hummed tentatively, eyebrow twitching in anticipation. Even he knew. Granted, your town whilst it was economically comfortable, held very gossipy individuals. You could know everything about someone's life just from walking down the street and listening to multiple people's conversations.

"I was a miracle child, they said. Eventually being called a blessing from God..." your lips tightened and released as you continued. "I don't know why or how I reached that place in the first instance, but even now, I don't regret not ever prying for information."

"What are you on about? Just say it" he encouraged as you released your bated breath.

You kept your eyes on his and smiled wryly, "Levi, I was dropped off at the St. Vincent church." It was almost humorous as his eye twitched, still befuddled. "..." you waited patiently, hoping he could piece the fragments together. Sighing, you said finally, "At birth." Even with this he was still silent, you chuckled and lightly patted his cheek, "Levi, I was an orphan until age 5."

As it all settled, along with processing, Levi finally understood. You were orphaned at birth, most definitely adopted by your parents, they kept the secret from the world and raised you to be a pristine lady. He felt his mouth go dry, whilst his own mother had passed when he was at the pitiful age of four, he still was able to live alongside his uncle... that was until he too disappeared after dropping off Levi here to work in the fields. He couldn't fathom being abandoned at the earliest stage in your life, but he supposed it must've been much easier for you since you had no sentimental attachment. He muttered a quiet, "I see"

"You likely are wondering how they suddenly presented a five year old child to a town of skeptics and made them believe said five year old was their legitimate own" it was a funny story really. He gestured for you to enlighten him. "You see, only my family and the priest at the church that took me in knows. The story my parents," you coughed a 'mother' under your breath, "decided on, is quite simplistic and easy to eat up."

"What was it" he asked, curiosity genuinely piqued it seemed.

With a twist in your puckered lips, you told him, albeit looking none too pleased, "They were told that I, youngest child to the," you said your family name, "was in lamentable, poor health and therefore had to be kept within the indoors. The story continued that my existence wasn't revealed because it'd be absolutely distressing if not only them -myfamily-, but the town too, suffered the loss of me. The household was paid handsomely to play along; I needn't mention that they were in the secret as well"

"If that was the case, then they revealed you with the excuse that you were in better shape" you nodded to confirm his statement.

"If I kept it from you it was because I believed it wise to keep it for a multitude of reasons, silly as some may be." You gently laughed as you informed, "My mother used to beg me in her high pitched voice, the one you use on small children, not to say anything regarding the truth of how I came to be with them because it would upset her 'nerves'." You uttered the word 'nerves' with a mocking pitch and alongside it a leisurely roll of the eyes.

"That so?" He inquired and you shook your head 'yes'. Levi asked, "Don't take this wrong, but why did they choose you"

"It's simple too" you cheerily told him. "My mother and father visited the church to converse charities when they saw me alongside the other orphans praying on the pews. To compress everything, I caught my mother's eye because of my 'blessed' face and my father took keenly to me because I seemed so diligent in praying"

"Those are funny reasons to adopt a child" he jested and you chuckled alongside him, feeling the usual sense of hostility towards him curtail.

"Are they not?" You asked incredulously, he agreed. "Regardless of their immediate likings, it took at least a few months of them visiting constantly until they were decidedly sure that they wanted me. You can imagine how confused but profusely happy I was when the kind couple who always loomed around me and hugged me, went on to call me daughter for the first time"

"That's nice, all I got from my old man were insults and a shitty apology in his final moments for leaving my mom to die and refusing to take responsibility of me" Levi glumly said. You sucked in your lips and widened your eyes at his forwardness with how sensitive the subject sounded. Upon noticing your silent distress due to unknowing how to react, he mentioned with a lighter tone, "but he left me with his entire fortune and legacy, not that it fixed his mistakes"

"Of course" you replied, lids untensed and rolled down as your jaw visibly relaxed. "Tell me about your mother Levi, how did she look like?"

"Me with lip paint" he countered curtly, surprising you once again. You tried to envision him with a softer jawline, gentler edge to his nose, slightly larger eyes, and you almost succeeded until you recalled his toned body. Levi with a feminine visage and muscular form was not the most appreciating sight even in your imagination. "Try picturing long hair" and at this you let out a sound of content realization as everything came together. She must've been gorgeous if she really was a feminine version of Levi, you could almost envy her imaginary image.

Softly you asked, "Do you possess any images of her?"

"No, we were too poor to even afford a change of clothes." You grimaced. Even if both your beginnings were humble, he definitely had it harder. Incredibly. Harder.

"How did she meet your father?" You asked tentatively, immediately adding, "If I may be so forward of course"

"You can ask whateve you want" Levi answered, scratching his temple as of to recall. "Let's see... I don't know the details but my mom used to work as an escort." Your eyeballs went round, you despised your instantaneous reaction and mended your insensitivity with a fixated, stern, serious gaze. Lucky for you, he had been looking away because undoubtedly he would have believed you were truly being insensitive.

Words like those always elicited a reaction from you, likely your demure nature was at fault. "She worked as a client to my old man for almost two years, living off of only him and his hefty payments; he didn't like letting any other men have her during her time serving him. At some point she got knocked up by him, and he later refused further contact with her upon discovering her condition, insisting the child wasn't his"

"It's strange to think that nobles who present themselves with such integrity do these kinds of things behind the scenes" you murmured, only realizing how naive you sounded after a moment of silent staring from Levi's end.

"Yeah, they take everything they build up for granted, use their money for their filthy desires," you winced visibly, "and when it's time to face the consequences, the fuckers decide to again use their money but this time to make it all go away. Pigs... the lot of them."

You wondered if Levi would do the same, 'use his money to make it all go away' if you ever brought forth the truth. This initiated a long and thoughtful thread of all kinds of scenarios that could ensue. If you were to speak, what would the aftermath offer?

A life with Levi's scathing absence, having left him and all. Using his deed as an effective and justified reason to annul your marriage seemed an idea far more far fetched then when you'd first began sharing a roof.

"Indeed..." you mumbled.

He placed a hand over yours that still rested on his cheek, sighing and kissing your palm. Then, he looked at you through his fringe and squeezed your fingers, "Tch, if only he wasn't such a self-absorbed, greed filled, shitting son of a bitch, my mother would still be here."

"That's harsh of you to say, are you sure your father is truly as terrible as you paint him to be?" He roughly yanked you to him to emphasize how irritating your defending of the dead man was.

After your surprised squeak was swallowed by his lips, he proudly stated, "There, you're clean now. I don't want you to filthy your mouth by speaking about a piece of horse shit." You paused for a minute to comprehend his coyness, and when it was processed, the mere idea of Levi being coquettish ignited a strange urge in your core.

Propelled by this strange desire, you leaned over and provided him with a chaste kiss. You pulled back in a flurry, shocked by your own actions before swallowing the lump of nerves that'd steadily contrived in your throat. In an effort to explain, you made the cheeky excuse presented first with an unsure hum, "Uhm, you're also clean now...?"

"Hmph," he snorted as he watched you awkwardly fidget with the ribbon resting so nicely over the slope of your breasts. "I don't understand why you are so distant these days, but I would like to remind you that we are married now. You don't need an excuse to touch me"

Your lips pursed momentarily, "I'm aware, but laying in a bed and... kissing..." you stared hard at the sheets with furrowed eyebrows, exhaling wearily, "...is still very new to me." That wasn't you being dishonest, as confident as your upbringing led you to be, these kinds of situations did not suit you... at all.

"You should practice," he mumbled as he leaned his head closer to yours. Levi gingerly stowed your chin into his index and thumb's hold, keeping your head still as his nose touched yours. You could feel the mingle of your breaths as he huskily whispered, "I can help you with that"

And for a split second, you almost, almost lost yourself to his unorthodox charms until you roughly, maybe too roughly, turned away. As reprimanding as you could muster to sound, you gazed at Levi with a painfully disinterested visage, saying successfully without a stutter, "I believe we have gone too far off topic. Shall we return to the matter at hand. You didn't finish your story"

"Tch, you vestal woman" he narrowed his eyes at you unappreciatively, likely upset that you slipped through his fingers when he was so certain he had you roped in. In response to his quip, you gawked unfazed and waited until your stare wore him down. He finally caved after realizing silence wouldn't lull you into his advances once more, "Anyways," a lengthy quietness ensued whilst his thoughts were gathered, "after she was turned away, my mother moved back to France."

"Were you born in France?" You asked incredulously and with newfound invigoration, plunged him into a spiral of inquiries, "Can you speak it? How culturally invested are you? Will you take me to Paris?"

"No, yes, not much, and we'll see." He replied, body rolling onto his back as he rested his hands behind his head. Your last question really was your wishful thinking but maybe if everything didn't blow up any time soon, you perhaps could really look forward to such a trip. Glancing at your expectant eyes, he proceeded, "She gave birth to me in the town over in a brothel and left to France to live in an old shitty hut that was property of her now dead father"

"Born here and raised there huh? I imagine life was quite difficult for you two" you said with a twinge of pity. You didn't want to feel it simply because Levi didn't want your sullen sorry's, they did absolutely nothing for him now and wouldn't even back then. So you squandered as best you could those feelings.

"It was, especially since women to survive need a well off man or have to turn to prostitution just to get food on the table." You nodded at his bitter words understandingly. It indeed was like that. In a world where Levi did not exist, you were certain that your mother would rather let you become and old maid than let you settle for anything less than a Duke. "She worked in the market during the day, carrying me on her back, and in the night would do what she had to do to earn the bigger bulk of her salary."

"Shame that so many people are living like that at this moment" you could imagine the millions in the slums having so little to survive off of. But then, what could you do? You as a woman had no right to own property, what you'd inherit once your father passed would belong to Levi, your husband, and your voice in society was less worthy of being acknowledged than the howl of a dog.

"That reminds me" something sparked in Levi's face at the mention of the more unfortunate. He flipped suddenly to face you and sternly said, "I'm visiting the town and village tomorrow. I want to see how their condition is in." He watched your pupils dilate at his next words, "Do you want to come?"

"I'd love to" you beamed quickly, genuinely excited for the event. You felt giddy at the thought of meeting new, hopefully sensible people that didn't provide you with the high treatment here. While it was appreciated, it could prove to be suffocating at times.

"We're going on horseback, the carriage still needs to be fixed properly after Hange did God knows what on the journey home" he rolled his eyes at the thought of the very expensive repairments needed after the lunatic of the scientist meddled with the vehicle. The day it rolled back into view made you drop the basket of flowers you'd so diligently picked.

While it was on it's four, functioning wheels (maybe one was on the loose side), you were certain that when it'd first left, it didn't incline a worrisome amount to the right, nor did it have those ghastly scratches or mud piled on it with other inexplicable substances. You almost felt sorry for the inanimate object.

"I still wish to know what in the heavens occured, but I'm still very much interested in the continuation of your tale" you grinned. "Please, carry on" you pushed as he rolled his eyes.

"Most of her money went to me and my needs. I was a very sickly child having been born under shitty conditions. You could say I was a beacon for diseases and illnesses." You tried to imagine a feeble young Levi, but the thought was too heart wrenching that you scuttled away from the idea. "I don't remember much but I know my mom... she was always smiling when I was around her, it was painful the day smiling became a chore for her weakened body"

"Ah, Levi, you needn't go further about that" you told him, quickly noticing the attempted concealment of pain in his blue rings.

"No, I've had 24 years to recover, I'm fine" he said, sounding a smidge offended. You looked on warily but let him go on, afraid you would inflict further discomfort with your attempts to be empathetic. "She caught a disease that killed her eventually. Her skin was hanging on her bones by the time my uncle came around to look for her."

"Uncle? You have an uncle?" In reality, you don't know why you expected for Levi to have no relatives. Perhaps it was his exterior persona and because he maintained his past so well kept that throughout your courting days you never once questioned him beyond the first time. The only time you asked in regards to his family, left you with an unsatisfactory answer that instigated the idea that you should expect vagueness from such a topic.

"Yes, but he was also shit. He left me after eight years of 'caring' for me, I was only twelve" he mumbled the latter phrase as you quickly picked up upon his sour key. Despite the indifference that so diligently clung to his facial features on a consistent daily routine, you understood the recollections of being abandoned twice bothered him to a certain degree. And who wouldn't be bothered by such saddening experiences?

"How did you come to know-," you paused, cautious of what could be another imminent kiss to 'cleanse' you, "he," you waveringly emphasized, "was your father?"

"Apparently some people knew such as my grandpa in France, my uncle, Willow the headmaid, and eventually my father, who came to acknowledge me as his son." Whilst it was wonderful he was being so compliant and talkative, there was a bothersome dubiety as you further listened. It didn't add up that this strange old man suddenly decided to leave behind his wealth to a child he had rejected before birth. When you went to ask, Levi was already a step ahead, readily replying, "Overall I came to know through the old man himself. He told me while on his death bed, then dropped like a bag of shit after claiming he wanted 'salvation' and 'forgiveness'."

"Was anyone in the room to influence him into the decision to accept you?" You inquired, skeptical. You didn't doubt Levi's word, but perhaps he might've been told a falsity. These things seldom occurred, it was why your questionnaire side was bearing its face in full swing.

"Willow, she always told off my old man and he let her. I suppose this was as any other time where she's forced him to admit the truth" Levi rubbed his chin thoughtful, as if only now hearing the incredulity upon verbally conveying the story.

You thoughtlessly thought aloud, "It's incredibly peculiar, almost uncanny the way a cruel man as you claim him to be, suddenly turned over an utterly new leaf knowing full well the kind of hardships you'd face if he accepted you as an illegitimate son..." His silence pulled your attention to him, your eyes broadening before hastily explaining, "My apologies, I didn't realize how insensitive I am being-"

"No, it's not that" he muttered quietly, lost in the turbulent sea of analyzing the story he knew. "I think you have a point and I hardly believe that he did it out of the kindness of his heart. There has to be an underlying-- a true reason for why he left behind all worries of tainting his public image and handed everything to me. It shouldn't have been so easy..."

"Yes, it's fairly odd." You agreed, lips pursing. You both basked in a comfortable silence, each mulling the very cognitive conversation. It was uncertain how much time you both spent next to one another, but when you resurfaced from your mind and felt a gentle, unsure squeeze on your palm, it was quickly known to you that you didn't mind quite as much the ginger touch of Levi. For now.

The corners of your lips lifted, and you willfully permitted it, even daring to squeeze back his larger hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want some floof before the big shitstorm ensues. 
> 
> And what's that sound? Oh, is it the crumbling of Reader's resolve to hate Levi? Or will his reaction to being exposed only make that resolve strengthen? 
> 
> Also, wow you're adopted! And by rich people too. Ironic no? Levi feeling insecure about himself when Reader is the one w/o an ounce of noble blood.


	19. Not an Update

First off, I know how disheartening it is to read "Not an Update" and for that I sincerely am incredibly sorry, you'll have to pardon my language, but I genuinely feel like shit for not making this announcement sooner.

 

I'm not going to quit writing Paradox, and I'm going to follow through with the other story I had in the plans, but I'll no longer be posting on this story. 

 

Yes you read it right. I plan to begin all over again. After approx. two months of no updates or even glancing at the draft of ch. 18 (was it?) sitting unfinished, I decided to finally look back at my work and I can sincerely say that I am incredibly disappointed and unsatisfied with my writing. I'm ashamed that I let my skill detoriate so badly since I know I can do so much better, and I want to for you guys who are my wonderful audience and a big part of my motivation as well as for me. 

 

I don't want to go into much detail about what's kept me from writing but all I'll say is that ever since August began, it's felt like 24 hours isn't enough to get everything done. I put myself in a situation that ultimately led to the demise of my overall creativity, and it affected me in many different ways, including this writer's block that's been plaguing me. Ever since I subjected myself to that, I haven't felt truly happy or at ease, my entire time was spent catering to everyone's expectations and my own that I was too stubborn and proud to water down and still feel okay with it. However, I've severed the ties with those useless situations that did me more harm than good and can finally just _breath_ _e_. 

With that weight off my shoulders, I feel like I can finally get back into writing and doing the things I love. Paradox won't change too much apart from the quality, yes you'll endure a tortuous pace but it won't be a crazy 20 chapters each of 4,000 words. I'll do better in explaining the feelings of Reader bc holy shit I confused myself after I went back and read it. I'm hoping to keep improving my ddepiction of Levi's character too, and applying better English tools such as figurative language. 

If you read my Adrian x Reader fic, you probably know I'm a slut for a poetic, very heavy imagery style of writing, something I failed to apply in this story even if I so badly wanted to. 

Lastly, I still will have the Hange and Erwin's bits (I felt like it was of importance to make mention of this)

It won't be spoilers since this was included in the story already but here are the current mysteries that will also be part of the rewritten version:

 

1\. Levi's secret deed

2\. The case Levi, Hange, and Erwin are working on (The missing young girls) that somehow ties to the villain which showed up twice, once in the hut and orchard.

3\. Colette's relation to the same villain

4\. The convenience in Levi's backstory of rags to riches, recall that Reader found it odd a selfish man like Levi's father would just give it all up. 

 

 

I'm certain I'm missing maybe few but I'll go look at the old mapping of this story and figure it out. I think I'll specify the timeframe since I keep making these references that no one gets ;-; 

I will keep this version up since it will in all it's cringe glory, remind me that I have to improve!

Thank you everyone who has been so kind and supportive, I never imagined that a novice such as me could receive so much enthusiasm from what I find is often a very skeptic bunch. What I mean by that is that we always in the Levi tag look to see if his characterization in a fic does the canon version justice. I think that's great, it really helps us authors improve.

 

I can't count how many times I've cracked the biggest, silliest grin when I read a comment or recieved a kudos, in public or not I never failed to look like I was just awarded the noble prize. You guys made me feel so awesome and I want to strive towards this new goal I set for myself, which is to improve so that it does feel like I am doing something actually awesome. 

Now, with that said and done, I conclude this announcement, bittersweet as it may be. Thank you for the umpteenth time and I hope to see you on the better and improved Paradox. Whether you are sticking to the story because you just wanna know what Levi did or because you truly enjoy reading it, I'll be hopeful that you can notice the quality change in all aspects of Paradox. 

 

💜💜

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you :))


End file.
